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Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws

Media·May 16, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws

U.S. — The Associated Press has warned that despite their deadly nature, medieval trebuchets are mostly exempt from firearm regulations in the United States.

The AP cautioned its audience that a full-sized counterweight trebuchet is capable of throwing 400-pound stones at a speed of one hundred miles per hour, and the government has done almost nothing to limit trebuchet access.

“The founding fathers simply did not envision a private citizen with his own trebuchet,” said AP reporter Dana Wexler. “Our laws were never written to take into account these instruments of death. There are no federal background checks, no mandatory waiting periods, and in some jurisdictions, you can even build one in your own backyard using publicly available instructions from the internet.”

In spite of the warnings, many law-abiding trebuchet owners are not going to give up their medieval siege weapons without a fight. “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a trebuchet is a good guy with a trebuchet,” said local man Bart Womack as he polished a 16-foot oak throwing arm. “If they want to come for me, bring it on. I’ve got a Honda Civic loaded up in the sling ready to fire.”

At publishing time, the Associated Press had released a follow-up article warning that finger guns are also notably exempt from current U.S. gun laws.

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