All About Guns Some Sick Puppies!

Those bill collectors always know where you live.

All About Guns Some Sick Puppies!

I Inherit (and Defile) a Mint, *Unfired* WWII Pistol

Grumpy's hall of Shame Some Sick Puppies!

Good riddance – The hanging of the serial killer John Brown* happened 164 years ago today!

And yes my family did NOT ride for Mr. Lincoln! Grumpy

*The Pottawatomie massacre occurred on the night of May 24–25, 1856, in the Kansas Territory. In reaction to the sacking of Lawrence by pro-slavery forces on May 21, and the telegraphed news of the severe attack on May 22 on Massachusetts Senator Charles Sumner, for speaking out against slavery in Kansas (“The Crime Against Kansas”), John Brown and a band of abolitionist settlers—some of them members of the Pottawatomie Rifles—made a violent reply. Just north of Pottawatomie Creek, in Franklin County, they killed five pro-slavery settlers, in front of their families. This soon became the most famous of the many violent episodes of the “Bleeding Kansas” period, during which a state-level civil war in the Kansas Territory was described as a “tragic prelude” to the American Civil War which soon followed. “Bleeding Kansas” involved conflicts between pro- and anti-slavery settlers over whether the Kansas Territory would enter the Union as a slave state or a free state. It is also John Brown’s most questionable act, both to his friends and his enemies. In the words of abolitionist Frederick Douglass, it was “a terrible remedy for a terrible malady.”[1]: 371 


John Brown was particularly affected by the sacking of Lawrence, in which the Douglas County Sheriff Samuel Jones on May 21st led a posse that destroyed the presses and type of the Kansas Free State and the Herald of Freedom, Kansas’s two abolitionist newspapers, the fortified Free State Hotel, and the house of Charles Robinson. He was the free-state militia commander-in-chief and leader of the “free state” government, established in opposition to the “bogus” pro-slavery territorial government, based in Lecompton.

A Douglas County grand jury had ordered the attack because the hotel “had been used as a fortress” and an “arsenal” the previous winter, and the “seditious” newspapers were indicted because “they had urged the people to resist the enactments passed” by the territorial governor.[2] The violence against abolitionists was accompanied by celebrations in the pro-slavery press, with writers such as Dr. John H Stringfellow of the Squatter Sovereign proclaiming that pro-slavery forces “are determined to repel this Northern invasion and make Kansas a Slave State; though our rivers should be covered with the blood of their victims and the carcasses of the Abolitionists should be so numerous in the territory as to breed disease and sickness, we will not be deterred from our purpose.”[3]: 162 

Brown was outraged by both the violence of pro-slavery forces and by what he saw as a weak and cowardly response by the anti-slavery partisans and the Free State settlers, whom he described as “cowards, or worse”.[3]: 163–166  In addition, two days before this massacre, Brown learned about the caning of abolitionist Charles Sumner by the pro-slavery Preston Brooks on the floor of Congress.[4][5][full citation needed]


A Free State company under the command of John Brown Jr. set out, and the Osawatomie company joined them. On the morning of May 22, 1856, they heard of the sack of Lawrence and the arrest of Deitzler, Brown, and Jenkins. However, they continued their march toward Lawrence, not knowing whether their assistance might still be needed, and encamped that night near the Ottawa Creek. They remained in the vicinity until the afternoon of May 23, at which time they decided to return home.

On May 23, John Sr. selected a party to go with him on a private expedition. John Jr. objected to their leaving his company, but seeing that his father was obdurate, acquiesced, telling him to “do nothing rash.” The company consisted of John Brown, four of his sons—Frederick, Owen, Salmon, and Oliver—Thomas Wiener, and James Townsley (who claimed later that he had been forced by Brown to participate in the incident), whom John had induced to carry the party in his wagon to their proposed field of operations.

Letter of Mahala Doyle to John Brown, when he was in jail awaiting execution, November 20, 1859: “Altho vengence is not mine, I confess, that I do feel gratified to hear that you ware stopt in your fiendish career at Harper’s Ferry, with the loss of your two sons, you can now appreciate my distress, in Kansas, when you then and there entered my house at midnight and arrested my husband and two boys and took them out of the yard and in cold blood shot them dead in my hearing, you cant say you done it to free our slaves, we had none and never expected to own one, but has only made me a poor disconsolate widow with helpless children while I feel for your folly. I do hope & trust that you will meet your just reward. O how it pained my Heart to hear the dying groans of my Husband and children if this scrawl give you any consolation you are welcome to it.
NB [postscript] my son John Doyle whose life I begged of (you) is now grown up and is very desirous to be at Charleston [Charles Town] on the day of your execution would certainly be there if his means would permit it, that he might adjust the rope around your neck if Gov. Wise would permit it.”[6]

They encamped that night between two deep ravines on the edge of the timber, some distance to the right of the main traveled road. There they remained unobserved until the following evening of May 24. Some time after dark, the party left their place of hiding and proceeded on their “secret expedition”. Late in the evening, they called at the house of James P. Doyle and ordered him and his two adult sons, William and Drury, to go with them as prisoners. (Doyle’s 16-year-old son, John, who was not a member of the pro-slavery Law and Order Party, was spared after his mother pleaded for his life.) The three men were escorted by their captors out into the darkness, where Owen Brown and his brother Frederick killed them with broadswords. John Brown Sr. did not participate in the stabbing but fired a shot into the head of the fallen James Doyle to ensure he was dead.

Brown and his band then went to the house of Allen Wilkinson and ordered him out. He was slashed and stabbed to death by Henry Thompson and Theodore Wiener, possibly with help from Brown’s sons.[3]: 172–173  From there, they crossed the Pottawatomie, and some time after midnight, forced their way into the cabin of James Harris at swordpoint. Harris had three house guests: John S. Wightman, Jerome Glanville, and William Sherman, the brother of Henry Sherman (“Dutch Henry”), a militant pro-slavery activist. Glanville and Harris were taken outside for interrogation and asked whether they had threatened Free State settlers, aided Border Ruffians from Missouri, or participated in the sack of Lawrence. Satisfied with their answers, Brown’s men let Glanville and Harris return to the cabin. William Sherman, however, was led to the edge of the creek and hacked to death with swords by Wiener, Thompson, and Brown’s sons.[3]: 177 

Having learned at Harris’s cabin that “Dutch Henry”, their main target in the expedition, was away from home on the prairie, they ended the expedition and returned to the ravine where they had previously encamped. They rejoined the Osawatomie company on the night of May 25.[3][page needed]

In the two years prior to the massacre, there had been eight killings in Kansas Territory attributable to slavery politics, and none in the vicinity of the massacre. Brown killed five in a single night, and the massacre was the match to the powder keg that precipitated the bloodiest period in “Bleeding Kansas” history, a three-month period of retaliatory raids and battles in which 29 people died.[7]

Men killed during the massacre[edit]

  • James Doyle and his sons William and Drury
  • Allen Wilkinson
  • William Sherman


The Potawattomie massacre was called by William G. Cutler, author of the History of the State of Kansas (1883), the “crowning horror” of the whole Bleeding Kansas period. “The news of the horrid affair spread rapidly over the Territory, carrying with it a thrill of horror, such as the people, used as they had become to deeds of murder, had not felt before. …The news of the event had a deeper significance than appeared in the abstract atrocity of the act itself. …It meant that the policy of extermination or abject submission, so blatantly promulgated by the Pro-slavery press, and proclaimed by Pro-slavery speakers, had been adopted by their enemies, and was about to be enforced with appalling earnestness. It meant that there was a power opposed to the Pro-slavery aggressors, as cruel and unrelenting as themselves. It meant henceforth, swift retaliation—robbery for robbery—murder for murder— that “he who taketh the sword shall perish by the sword.”[8]

Kansas Senator John James Ingalls in 1884 quoted with approval the judgment of a Free State settler: “He was the only man who comprehended the situation, and saw the absolute necessity for some such blow, and had the nerve to strike it.” This a result of the men killed being leaders in a conspiracy to “drive out, bum and kill; and that Potawatomie Creek was to be cleared of every man, woman and child who was for Kansas being a free State.”[9]

According to Brown’s son Salmon, who participated, it was “the grandest thing that was ever done in Kansas”

All About Guns Grumpy's hall of Shame Some Sick Puppies! The Horror!

Let us hunt down this rascal that inflicted this desecration of such a Noble Weapon!

Being a Stranger in a very Strange Land Some Sick Puppies!

KPV Machine Gun – The Most Efficient Execution Tool Since the Guillotine by WILL DABBS

Kim Jong-un is an old school maniacal despot. They just don’t make them like him anymore.
The quad ZPU-4 anti-aircraft gun is one of Kim’s favorite execution tools.

Kim Jong-un was born in either 1982 or 1983. He stands five foot seven and weighs 290 pounds. At about thirty-six years old he is rumored to suffer from diabetes, hypertension, and gout. The supreme leader of North Korea is both a heavy cigarette smoker and a megalomaniacal psychopath. He commands the 4th largest military on the planet.

I hate to descend into sophomoric anthropomorphism just to make fun of the guy, but he makes it so darn easy. Kim’s haircut makes him look like an obese hirsute mushroom.

Kim Jong-un’s extraordinary haircut has a name. They call it “Ambition.”

Kim’s grandfather, Kim Il-sung, was apparently an exceptionally gifted infant who was purportedly both ambulating and orating soon after leaving the delivery room.

Kim Jong-un’s grandfather, Kim Il-sung, founded the modern North Korean communist state. Kim Il-sung’s official state biography says his birth was heralded by portents in the heavens. It also claims that he began walking at three weeks of age and started speaking three weeks after that. Wow.

Kim Jong-un’s dad was also said to be a musical savant. Apparently, his operatic efforts eclipsed lesser works like Mozart’s Idomeneo and Don Giovanni. All that and still such a snappy dresser.

Kim Jong-un’s father Kim Jong-il purportedly authored 1,500 books in three years while simultaneously composing six full operas. Giuseppe Verdi was not nearly so productive. According to his biography, Kim’s operas were the best in the history of music.

I always figured Satan invented the hamburger considering its more tantalizing attributes. The North Koreans claim it was actually Kim Jong-un’s remarkably constipated dad.

Kim Jong-il also supposedly invented the hamburger. He called it the “double bread with meat.” According to official press releases Kim Jong-il did not defecate and could control the weather with his mood.

It’s a good thing Kim Jong-il wasn’t born in America. Otherwise, Tiger Woods might have ended up being just some normal guy.

Kim Jong-un’s dad only played golf once, but state media reported that he had an exceptionally good day on the links. He reportedly shot 38 under par (25 strokes better than the standing world record) and landed a breathtaking eleven holes-in-one in that single game. Had I done that well I suppose I might have quit while I was ahead, too.

Any guy who could safely operate an automobile while most of the rest of us were struggling to master the flush toilet likely deserves his own nuclear arsenal.

Kim Jong-un purportedly began driving at age three and won his first yacht race at nine. He covertly attended a Swiss boarding school under the guise of being a wealthy businessman’s son. He was reportedly shy and quiet but a good friend with little interest in geopolitics. This remarkable prodigy currently commands 4,100 tanks, 500 combat vessels, and 730 tactical aircraft along with an estimated thirty to sixty operational nuclear warheads. His military still employs ZM-87 blinding lasers in contravention of UN protocol.

Don’t let the benevolent rotund Santa-like demeanor fool you, Kim Jong-un is a total nut job.

Someone who clearly believed himself a god sired this odd fat little man. As is so often the case, the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Crime and Punishment in the World of Kim Jong-un

Despite his obvious enthusiasm for wholesome American stuff like fast food, Kim Jong-un also likes to shred his enemies with crew-served weapons.

Since taking power following the death of his chronically constipated father in 2011 Kim Jong-un has executed around 340 people. The insular nature of his regime makes reliable information difficult to obtain. There was a rumor that he had executed a family member by stripping him naked and feeding him to ravenous dogs. This report has since been discredited. Apparently, he killed this uncle by strapping the poor man to a post and then chewing him to pieces with an antiaircraft gun. Of all the many-splendored ways to off another human being, fast-firing antiaircraft weapons seem undeniably novel.

Kim Jong-un’s ex-uncle Jang Song-thaek is shown here on the left along with Naguib Sawaris and, on the right, Kim Jong-il. Kim is rocking his classic signature American old person clothing ensemble.

The list of the condemned is indeed prodigious. Kim’s late uncle Jang Song-thaek was ganked for the catchall “Treachery.” For good measure, Kim Jong-un had his children, grandchildren, and sundry close relatives murdered as well.

Little makes a good public execution into a great public execution faster than a flamethrower.

O Sang-hon, the North Korean deputy security minister of the Ministry of People’s Security got sideways with Kim by supporting Kim’s uncle Jang Song-thaek. For this bit of poor judgment Kim had the man publically barbecued with a flamethrower.

In America making homemade porn movies just gets you some particularly repugnant diseases. In North Korea, the health risks are markedly greater.

Eleven members of a North Korean dance troupe were accused of producing a pornographic video. For their sins Kim had them secured downrange from crew-served automatic weapons and publically shot to pieces. The grand finale purportedly involved running over what remained of the eleven corpses with tracked armored vehicles until they literally became one with the earth.

Fraternal relationships are always complicated. Things are made all the more difficult when dad is a bloodthirsty dictator with a god complex who doesn’t poop. This is Kim Jong-un’s unfortunate older brother Kim Jong-nam.

Kim’s older brother Kim Jong-nam was originally the heir-apparent to his freak show of a dad. However, the elder Kim embarrassed his country in 2001 when he tried and failed to smuggle himself into Japan on a false passport to sample Tokyo Disneyland. After 2003 Kim Jong-nam lived in exile, sporadically condemning the government of his rotund sadist baby brother.

Kim Jong-un’s elder brother Kim Jong-nam died in a puddle of drool after being poisoned with VX nerve agent in a Malaysian airport.

In February of 2017 four North Korean assassins convinced Siti Aisyah of Indonesia and Doan Thi Huong of Vietnam that they were part of a TV prank. The hapless women subsequently smeared Kin Jong-nam’s face with VX nerve agent in the Kuala Lumpur airport. The elder Kim died in short order, and the four North Korean killers escaped back to Pyongyang.

Somnolence—The North Korean Unforgiveable Sin

Hyon Yong-chul was the second most powerful guy in North Korea until he fell asleep in a staff meeting.

In early April of 2015, Hyon Yong-chol was busy serving as North Korea’s Defense Minister, a position that made him the second most powerful man in the country. Before the month was out he was accused of a crime of lese-majeste. This French term literally translates, “to do wrong to majesty.” The formal infraction was “Failed to Carry Out Kim’s Instructions.”

Here we see Hyon on the left earning the death penalty. Imagine what might have happened to the guy had he cheated on his taxes or shoplifted gum.

He actually just fell asleep while Kim was speaking.

Let that be a lesson to you young people. Staying up too late binge-watching Netflix on a school night is very bad for you.

Apparently, Hyon’s inattention offended Kim in a serious way. Kim had Hyon taken to a military school outside Pyongyang and tied to a post. He then had the school’s students and staff mustered out on the firing range to spectate. Once the several hundred spectators were arrayed properly Kim gave the order and the fire from multiple antiaircraft weapons turned Hyon’s body into bloody goo.

The Guns

The ZPU-4 is a ubiquitous low-tech close-range antiaircraft system that enjoys widespread distribution throughout the former Soviet sphere of influence.

The consensus was that the tools used in these executions were likely quad-mount ZPU-4 antiaircraft weapons. These systems incorporate four different KPV (Krupnokalibernly Pulemyot Vladimirova) heavy machineguns firing a 14.5x114mm rounds at 600 rpm. To put that in perspective the .50-caliber cartridge fired by John Moses Browning’s M2 Heavy Barrel machinegun is 12.7x99mm. The KPV round carries roughly twice the muzzle energy of that fired by the American M2. The four gun ZPU-4 quad mount puts out an aggregate 2,400 rounds per minute.

Against modern airborne threats, the ZPU-4 is fairly obsolete and ineffective. The system’s true strength is as an antipersonnel weapon at modest ranges.

Development of the ZPU-4 began in the Soviet Union in 1945. The gun system entered service in 1949. The mount carries 1,200 linked rounds for each gun. The travel weight of the system on its wheeled mount is 3,990 pounds. The gun system is designed for close-in air defense against low-flying aircraft. The KPV has a maximum effective range of 3km horizontally and 2km vertically while remaining lethal out to 8km.

The 14.5mm KPV is a turret-mounted weapon on Warsaw Pact-era AFVs like this BTR-60.

In addition to towed antiaircraft mounts, the Soviets used the KPV on armored vehicles and naval patrol boats. In its vehicular configuration the gun has a shortened receiver, a heavier barrel jacket, and a longer fifty-round belt. The standard belt holds forty rounds. This gun is designated the KPVT or tankoviy (tank) version.

Mounting up a pair of KPVs in the back of your favorite Toyota farm truck turns the vehicle into a ubiquitous technical. A colleague who flew A10s in the first Gulf War tells me they brew up nicely when sprinkled with 30mm depleted uranium projectiles.

One of the more common applications of the KPV today is in dual mounts in the backs of civilian pickups. These vehicles are universally referred to as technicals. They are relatively inexpensive and highly mobile, making them the preferred weapons of terrorist and unconventional forces in many of your less well-funded war zones. A brace of KPV’s firing from the back of a pickup truck offers the modern sawed-off warlord with a great deal more downrange horsepower than might be afforded by man-portable weapons alone.


Kim Jong-un may look like just another fun-loving man of the earth farmer. His megalomaniacal proclivities, however, make the man much more complicated.

It is easy to look down our long Roman noses at Kim given his many manifest psychotic eccentricities and wax judgmental over his choice of tools for executions of state. However, such events were spectator sports around the globe well into the 20th century even in our own refined democratic culture. In 1903 a convicted murderer was hanged on the courthouse square in my placid little Southern town. Back then you could be accused, tried, sentenced, and executed at the county level. Oxford, Mississippi, sported a population of around 800 souls at the time, yet some 8,000 showed up from the surrounding environs to gawk.

Death by anti-aircraft gun might indeed be preferable to Old Sparky here. I’ve actually sat in one of these before. It wasn’t terribly comfortable.

Execution at point-blank range by a weapon system firing forty 60-gram high-velocity projectiles per second is likely a pretty placid way to go. I think given the choice I might choose obliteration by ZPU-4 over hanging or electrocution. It shouldn’t hurt long.

Under any other circumstance, this goofy rascal would just be some harmless fat guy with a weakness for ice cream and karaoke. Hand him the literal power over life and death, however, and it inevitably brings out his dark side.

North Korea is a monarchy by another name. While the less enlightened members of American society seem yet again to be swooning over the siren’s song of socialism, Kim Jong-un stands as another monotonous example of the inevitable end state of centralized power. Leftists think the reason communism has devolved into butchery every single time it has ever been tried is simply that those who attempted to craft this week’s workers’ utopia just didn’t do it correctly.

Despotic dictators share certain predictable common characteristics. Kim Jong-un is what we call down here in the Deep South a “Genuine Piece of Work.”

A 2007 psychiatric study of Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and Kim Jong-il found that all three men likely suffered from some toxic combination of the “Big Six” personality disorders. These included sadistic, antisocial, paranoid, narcissistic, schizoid, and schizotypal elements. In Kim Jong-un, we see a self-destructive yet unimposing soul raised by a lunatic and then granted unfettered power. In that context the remarkable creativity he exhibits when neutralizing threats to his sovereignty seems not terribly surprising.

Kim Jong-un is an undeniably curious figure.
The cult of personality that orbits around the sundry North Korean dictators is a tough thing for free people to comprehend. 

KPV Heavy Machine Gun

Caliber 14.5x114mm
Weight 108.3 lbs
Length 78 inches
Barrel Length 53 inches
Action Short Recoil
Rate of Fire 600 rpm
Feed System Belt

All About Guns Cops Grumpy's hall of Shame Some Sick Puppies!

The RG-14 Revolver: The Gun that Got the Gipper by Tom Marshall

The year is 1981. The nation rejoices over the safe return of hostages from Iran. Ronald Reagan is our newly minted 40th president, the Oakland Raiders won the Super Bowl and even though “The Tide Is High,” Blondie is still holding on to the number-one spot on Billboard’s hit list.

But none of that matters. What matters is that the girl of your dreams, who you’ve been diligently pursuing for years, has paid you no attention. Instead of accepting this tacit rejection, you believe her cold shoulder is only because you’ve failed to make a gesture grand enough to get her to see you clearly. But that’s all about to change. You’re about to make it big, and that girl will finally notice you, because you’re about to bring your favorite movie to life for the world to see.

John Hinkley Mugshot RG-14
John Hinckley, Jr. mug shot. Photo courtesy FBI Field Office Washington.

That movie is Taxi Driver …

That girl is actress Jodi Foster …

And your big plan to win her over? Shoot the f*cking president.

Thus begins — and ends — the story of the .22-caliber RG-14 revolver. At least insofar as mainstream pop culture is concerned. But RG Industries was the U.S.-based division of German firearms company Rohm Gessellschaft which split from its parent company Rohm GmbH in the 1950s. Said parent company was actually known for producing chucking tools before starting the Gessellschaft imprint as a diversification into firearms, which then spawned Miami-based RG Industries in 1968.

The American RG Industries specialized (if you can call it that) in producing revolvers and semi-autos in mouse gun calibers like .22LR, .25ACP, .32S&W, and .38 Special. The guns existed in relative obscurity until March of 1981 when the protagonist of our introduction, John W. Hinckley Jr. used an RG-14 revolver in an attempt to assassinate President Reagan.

As a result, police officer Thomas Delahanty (who was also shot by Hinckley) sued RG Industries. The case was thrown out, but the legal troubles and notoriety compounded with a follow-up case in 1985 involving a convenience store clerk who was also shot by an RG gun. This led to RG Industries folding in 1986. The German side of RG was sold to Umarex in 2010, to what practical end we’re not sure. But no fruits of that acquisition have made it to American shores, as best we can tell.

Fast-forward to a couple of months ago, when we came across this piece of obscure gun history in a consignment case at The Hub AZ in Tucson, Arizona. The wheelgun in question was nested between a police trade-in Glock and an STI Tactical 4.0, and we almost missed it. But as fate would have it, we wound up bringing her home for a meager adoption fee of $200.


The single-action trigger on our sample was shockingly smooth with a very consistent 4½-pound break. Other than that, and being relatively inexpensive in a market full of panic buys and indefinite back orders, this gun just doesn’t have much going for it.

The RG-14’s barrel is a two-piece design, held in place by a cross-pin that was missing from our sample.


Because we were so surprised by the single-action pull, and the universe seeks balance, the double-action trigger mode is exactly as awful as one would expect from a revolver of this class. Also, don’t count on reloading this gun in any kind of a hurry. The ejector rod under the 1-inch barrel isn’t an ejector at all. It’s a pin that screws into the back of the frame that must be unscrewed and completely removed for the cylinder to be popped out.

Empty cases must then be plucked out individually by fingernail and fresh rounds threaded in before the cylinder is closed and the retention screw wound back into place. Finally, the barrel is an odd two-piece design consisting of the bore itself sleeved by a shroud that includes the token front sight. Directly behind the sight blade is a hole that, apparently, is supposed to have a pin of some kind pressed into it. But the pin is missing, which means you can pluck the barrel shroud, including front sight, off the gun at will. And sometimes by accident.

Also squarely in the “awful” column is the so-called Devastator “exploding ammunition” that Hinckley used in his botched attempt to woo Ms. Foster. The rounds essentially consisted of a second primer embedded in the nose of the bullet meant to detonate on impact and cause immediate fragmentation. The rounds didn’t work as planned — although its noteworthy that, at the time, it was a big enough concern that the surgeons who removed one of these rounds from President Reagan were wearing flak jackets while they worked.

The cylinder is held in place by a rod that must be completely unscrewed in order to remove the cylinder for loading/unloading.


The RG-14 is a macabre-conversation-starter of a coffee table gun. When people see it in your safe, you’ll be able to tell them all about the one thing it’s known for. It has little to no redeemable value otherwise, but that’s OK. Some pistols are destined to serve as relics of history to be passed down along with their stories. While the story of the RG-14 isn’t a particularly happy one, it’s nonetheless an obscure, but important piece of Americana.


Purchased From: The Hub (Tucson, AZ) //
Caliber: .22LR
Weight Unloaded: 15.2 ounces
Capacity: 6 rounds
Length: 5 inches
Barrel: 1.5 inches
Price Paid: $200

EVIL MF Some Sick Puppies! The Horror!

Dr. Dabbs – America’s First School Shooting by WILL DABBS

We all wish that schools could be impregnable bastions of peace and harmony. However, that has never been the case.

As a dad I really cannot even imagine the agony of losing a child. The imagery of the aftermath of a school shooting is compelling beyond reason. In the face of such breathtaking tragedy, everybody everywhere wants to do something constructive to make it stop. However, effectively quelling such an egregious horror is a Gordian problem in the modern age.

Leftists apparently live in this surreal twilight zone. The most vocal among them believe that schools are safe spaces that can be made somehow miraculously free from violence solely by means of some fresh new legislative dictum. I want that, too. However, I also want to wake up every morning to a pile of gold nuggets sitting on my doorstep. Just because I want something a lot won’t make it so.

Lunatics were shooting up schools back when American women dressed like this. It is a timeless problem.

History’s Statistics On School Shootings

Schools have never been safe spaces. They just aren’t. There were three recorded school shootings in the 1850’s and another five in the decade that followed. The 1870s saw seven, while the 1880s had ten. Do you detect a trend?

By the 1970’s that number was up to 42. In the 1980’s there were 62. The 1990s had 99, and much of that was under an assault weapons ban. We endured a total of 298 school shooting episodes in the 20th century.

This miserable turd is about typical of the genre. Soulless creations of the Information Age, these bloodthirsty nihilists slaughter the innocent to get their fifteen minutes of fame.

In the first decade of the new millennium, the number actually dropped to 80. However, we jumped to 252 in the 2010s. Thus far three years into the 2020’s we have had a further 133. Why is that exactly?

Back when you could buy these things over the counter there were not nearly so many school shootings as there were after we had all these gun laws.

It’s not the gun, it’s the people

America is awash in guns, but America has always been awash in guns. Prior to 1934, there were literally no limits on the firearms you could own. Individual citizens could mount a cannon in their front yard or pick up a Thompson submachine gun at their local hardware store over the counter, cash and carry. It’s not the availability of guns. I would posit that today’s problem is the people.

We are rightfully outraged when kids shoot up their schools yet remain inexplicably unimpressed when they spend untold hours doing the same thing on their game consoles for fun. I can’t begin to explain it. I only work here…

The skyrocketing rates of school violence tend to follow our enlightenment as a society. Movies and video games have grown ever more violent. Murder or rape somebody in the real world and there are legal and moral consequences. However, watching murder or rape on the big screen or on your television is simply entertainment. There’s something intellectually incongruous about that.

At the same time, our society has steadily cheapened human life. Rates of abortion exploded after Roe vs Wade in 1973 (63 million in total to date), and now ten of our fifty states have legalized assisted suicide. Not debating the rightness or wrongness of those things in this venue. Simply observing a temporal correlation.

Plummeting Farther

We have also vigorously excised God from our schools and public spaces. As church attendance has plummeted, random violence and generally poor citizenship have exploded. Just as the absence of light is dark, the absence of God is godlessness. I suggest we might just be getting what we asked for.

This is a screen grab of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. These two dirtbags brought school shootings into the Information Age. Their weapons were already illegal, incidentally.

The media would have you believe that the scourge of the school shootings perhaps began with Columbine. Back in 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold traipsed into Columbine High School with a TEC-9, a Hi-Point 9mm carbine, an illegal sawed-off shotgun, 99 explosive devices, and four knives and proceeded to slaughter thirteen innocent people.

Those two freaking monsters will have all of eternity to atone for their crimes. However, Columbine wasn’t even close to when it all started. The Alpha school shooting took place in Franklin County, Pennsylvania, on 26 July 1764. Twelve years before we even became a nation, we had already had our first school massacre. Were I pressed to divine an explanation it would simply be that people are horrible.

The Setting of That First School Shooting

The American colonies in the mid to late-18th century were literally unrecognizable from what we enjoy today. The central government hailed from London, and what there was of civilized America was populated by rugged individualists who knew both hard work and discipline. As those early Europeans were busy carving a new homeland out of territory previously occupied by a wide variety of Native American tribes, conflict was inevitable. What follows was one of the most infamous events of what historians call Pontiac’s War.

There were no good guys here. Both sides slaughtered wholesale.

The French and Indian War had wrapped up the previous year, yet few of the participants were really thrilled with the outcome. A loose confederation of Native American tribes centered around the Great Lakes banded together to drive the British out of their lands. Recall that back then most of who we might view as Americans were loyal subjects of the British crown.

We’ve always been monsters. To deny this reality is to deny our very natures.

The Reality

It is tough for us modern folk to appreciate just how brutal things were during this time. History has sanitized much of the horror from the narrative, but there was more than enough atrocity to go around on both sides. The Indians kicked off this particular party by attacking British forts and murdering or enslaving hundreds of colonists. Prisoners were routinely killed, and the line between civilian and soldier seemed forever blurred. Along the way, both sides developed a white-hot hatred of the other. As has been the case since the very dawn of human history, humanity fractionated by race and each side slaughtered the other wholesale.

Being captured by the natives was all but unthinkable. Their capacity for torture was limited solely by the technology of the day. During one engagement while Fort Pitt was besieged by Native American warriors, British officers tried to infect the Indians with smallpox by means of contaminated blankets. Such biological warfare would be condemned in the strongest terms by most of the planet today. Back then it was just part of doing business.

These scumbags didn’t have a corner on the monster market. Human beings have always kind of sucked.

The end result was a bloodbath. This raging venom drove those involved to some terribly dark places. One of those dark places was a schoolhouse in what is Newcastle, Pennsylvania, today.

The Massacre

The carnage began the day before when four Delaware Indian braves encountered a pregnant white woman named Susan King Cunningham out walking alone. They clubbed her to death and then cut the fetus from her womb. The Indians later passed by the occupied home of a widow woman who had her windows boarded up against the weather. Presuming the house to be vacant they did not investigate. On 26 July 1764, these four braves made their way to the small wooden schoolhouse that serviced the area.

Inside was schoolmaster Enoch Brown and eleven students. School accommodated all ages back then, so the accumulated kids were of sundry sizes. Brown could tell immediately what the Indians intended to do.

The taking of scalps is a curiously ghastly tradition that dates back centuries.

Brown pleaded with the Indians, two of whom were apparently fairly old, to take his life but spare the children. In response, the warriors shot him and took his scalp. They then clubbed and scalped the rest of the children in attendance.

The details of the attack are inscribed on a historical marker at the spot today.

Time has muddled the details somewhat. I found two major narratives. The most common had ten of eleven children perishing in the attack. The eleventh, a young man named Archie McCullough, apparently lost consciousness and came to after the Indians had departed. He purportedly climbed into the fireplace until he was certain the Indians were gone and then made his way to a nearby stream to clean his wounds. He was found there by locals who investigated further and discovered the horror in the schoolhouse. Period reports claimed that the schoolmaster Mr. Brown died with a Bible in one hand trying to protect his charges.

The Rest of the Story

The location of the grave was determined with certainty years after the event.

Brown and the ten children were buried in a communal grave. The site was not well marked, and locals feared that its location would be lost. In 1843 the area was excavated and the bodies were discovered. There were indeed ten children and one adult all buried together. There is a granite monument and a well-maintained park commemorating the site today. The names Ruth Hale, Eben Taylor, George Dustan, and Archie McCullough have survived, though the rest of the kids’ names have been lost.

Not sure who made this image, but it gets the point across quite convincingly.

Miraculously, little Archie survived the horrific attack. He recovered physically but was justifiably never quite right afterward. He purportedly married and had a son and daughter. Archie eventually settled in Kentucky, but his trail goes cold in 1810.

A man named John McCullough had been captured by the Delaware Indians and held captive in their camp since 1756. He was apparently a cousin to young Archie McCullough. The elder McCullough was present when the war party returned from their gory foray.

As always seems to be the case, such unrestrained violence didn’t end well for anybody.

After he was released, McCullough wrote this of their reception, “I saw the Indians when they returned home with the scalps; some of the old Indians were very much displeased at them for killing so many children, especially Neep-paugh’-whese, or Night Walker, an old chief, or half king,—he ascribed it to cowardice, which was the greatest affront he could offer them.”

The Backlash

As you might imagine, when news got around that the Delaware Indians had murdered ten children and a schoolmaster in cold blood, the locals wanted some payback. With the approval of Governor John Penn, the Pennsylvania General Assembly reinstituted the scalp bounty that had previously been in effect during the French and Indian War. This offered $134 for the scalp of any adult male Indian above age ten and $50 for a female, payable by the government in cash.

The site of the Enoch Brown Massacre is pleasant and peaceful today. Not so much 258 years ago.

There resulted a fairly unrestrained slaughter by enterprising capitalists who were handy with a gun and adroit at holding a grudge. The entire Conestoga Tribe was wiped out in the aftermath. The pastoral nature of Enoch Brown Park lends no overt insights into the horrors that took place there some 258 years ago.

If somebody disagrees with me on my right to keep and bear arms then good for them. Just don’t get all in my space about my own lifestyle choices. I think one of us in this hypothetical argument is actually showing tolerance.

Of all of Satan’s many diabolical inspirations, I think school shootings might be the worst. That someone might feel somehow justified in taking the lives of innocent children in response to some political insult, social inadequacy, or warped sense of justice simply astounds me.

However, make no mistake, there is nothing new under the sun. People are bad. We always have been. That’s the reason those incredible old guys penned the Second Amendment in there right behind the First.

Hard Nosed Folks Both Good & Bad Paint me surprised by this Some Sick Puppies! You have to be kidding, right!?!

French SS – Berlin 1945

I heard that Hitler was absolutely furious about them defending his holdout. I just hope that most of these evil folks were taken care of by The NKVD. (Another set of “tender” folks that did Stalins dirty work)

Darwin would of approved of this! Paint me surprised by this Some Sick Puppies! Stupid Hit You have to be kidding, right!?!

Darwin is shaking his head right now!

Cops Some Sick Puppies!

What I call a good days work!