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Well I thought it was funny! You have to be kidding, right!?!

One mean drunk!!

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says “You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window”. The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.

The second guy says, “What, are you nuts? There’s no way that could happen. “No, its true,” the first man says. “Let me prove it to you.” He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets toward the street below. As he nears the 10th floor, the high winds whip him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

He meets the second man, who looks quite astonished. “You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke.” “No, I’ll prove it again,” says the first man as he jumps again. Just as he is hurtling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.

“Well, why not.” the second guy says, “It works. I’ll try it.” He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors. . . . . and hits the sidewalk with a SPLAT.

Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, “You know Superman, you’re a real mean asshole when you’re drunk”.

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The Green Machine Well I thought it was funny! You have to be kidding, right!?!

New Red Cross Messages To Relay ‘Dear John Letters’, Sports Scores

A Red Cross Worker In Afghanistan Looks Up Stats On ESPN.com

CAMP PENDLETON, CA – Members of the American Red Cross held a press conference last week with the 1st Marine Division to proudly announce that Red Cross emergency messages would now carry both ‘Dear John letters’ and sports scores.

“For the longest time people have only associated Red Cross emergency messages with things like the death, severe illness of a family member, or birth of a child,” said William Gossett, regional manager for the Red Cross’ western district.

“But now we can also inform you that your favorite football team just won the big game, or that your wife is leaving you due to your sexual inadequacy.”

According to Gossett, multiple surveys over the past two years showed the majority of deployed servicemen and women were overwhelmingly in favor of adding both.

Message-traffic has increased ten-fold in the days since the policy change, going from 68 messages a day to over 700.

Reactions by deployed personnel have varied.

“Yeah, it’s totally cool,” said Corporal Chris Dirksen. “We were in the middle of a firefight when this Osprey came in low over the battlefield and said: ‘CORPORAL DIRKSEN! THE NATIONALS HAVE BEAT THE CARDINALS 7-4!’ I was so stoked I actually high-fived the Taliban I was slicing open with a bayonet!”

Sergeant Shaniqua Johnson, with Explosive Ordnance Disposal, had a different story.

“I was right in the middle of placing a charge on this 400 pound command-wire IED when my Battalion Sergeant Major comes rolling up in a truck yelling, ‘Sergeant Johnson! Gary says it’s over! Keep the kids! He doesn’t care!'”

“I suppose it wouldn’t have been that bad if my Staff Sergeant hadn’t immediately asked if that meant I was single now.”

Although the Red Cross’ actions have been highly applauded by the service chiefs as “waking up to the reality of deployment,” the move may very well bankrupt the Red Cross organization over time.

Red Cross officials have privately spoke about being overwhelmed by the influx of requests. Three of their dedicated servers have shut down due to the massive increase in traffic and dozens of employees have quit for stress-related reasons.

The Red Cross has already begun revamping the entire program.

One official, speaking off the record, said “the Red Cross messages used to be relatively costless for us, as the only expenses needed were the manpower to make the phone call or send the email. But if this keeps up we may be broke in as little as four months.”

Duffel Blog investigative journalist Fernando also contributed to this report.

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A Victory! COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good News for a change! You have to be kidding, right!?!

Taking Aim at America’s Taxman: One Senator’s Mission to Disarm the IRS by S.H. BLANNELBERRY

It’s not every day that you hear about the IRS packing heat. But that’s exactly what’s been happening, to the tune of $35.2 million. Iowa’s Senator Joni Ernst is saying enough is enough.

Ernst, the straight-shooting Republican, is spearheading a move to disarm the IRS. Yes, you heard it right. She’s calling out the tax agency for splurging taxpayer dollars on weapons, ammunition, and military-grade gear.

Since 2006, the IRS has been spending wildly. They’ve spent over $35.2 MILLION on an arsenal that would make some small countries blush. They’ve dropped $10 million on weaponry and gear since 2020 alone.

Sen. Ernst Calls ‘Em Out

“The taxman is fully loaded at the expense of the taxpayer,” Ernst said in a press release obtained by GunsAmerica. “As the Biden administration has worked to expand the size of the IRS, any further weaponization of this federal agency against hardworking Americans and small businesses is a grave concern.”

“I’m working to disarm the IRS and return these dollars to address reckless spending in Washington,” she added.

Those Hilarious Training Videos From Last Year

Why Is the IRS Playing War

The question that’s tickling everyone’s mind is, why is the IRS playing at war?

According to Adam Andrzejewski, CEO of Open the Books, the IRS isn’t just buying handguns for self-defense. They’ve been stocking AR-style rifles, semi-automatic shotguns, and even submachine guns. They’ve also stockpiled 5 million rounds.

“The IRS special agent is starting to look less like a desk worker or rule maker and more like a SWAT team from a Hollywood thriller. It’s the blurring of the lines between a tax agency and traditional law enforcement,” observed Andrzejewski.

The Why Does the IRS Have Guns Act Would:

  • Prohibit the IRS from buying, receiving, or storing guns and ammo,
  • Transfer all guns and ammo currently in the IRS’ possession to the General Services Administration,
  • Auction off these guns and ammo to Federal Firearms License owners and devote proceeds to deficit reduction, and
  • Relocate the IRS Criminal Investigation Division within the Justice Department.

 

Ernst is doing more than just talking. She’s proposed the ‘Why Does the IRS Have Guns Act.’ The act would prohibit the IRS from buying, receiving, or storing guns and ammo. It would also force the IRS to offload its existing arsenal.

But here’s the kicker. The act stipulates that all this weaponry should be auctioned off to Federal Firearms License owners. And the money raised? It’ll be used for deficit reduction. A classic two-birds-one-stone move.

Furthermore, Ernst wants to relocate the IRS Criminal Investigation Division. She wants it under the Justice Department, where traditional law enforcement belongs.

This move is a stand against wasteful spending and overreach. Ernst is making a clear point: the IRS is a tax agency, not a paramilitary organization. The time has come to ask ourselves, why does the IRS need guns?

And, Ernst isn’t just demanding answers, she’s making moves and leading the charge for change – it’s high time someone stepped up to the plate.

Fox News Video

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All About Guns You have to be kidding, right!?!

Sheila Jackson Lee Embarrasses Herself Defending Pistol Brace Rule In House Of Representatives

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Some Scary thoughts You have to be kidding, right!?!

It’s Over! South Africa is F*&$d – Failed State

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You have to be kidding, right!?!

BIGFOOT A TRIGGERING DISCUSSION WRITTEN BY BRENT WHEAT

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You have to be kidding, right!?!

On there way to the Cairo jail House

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Cops You have to be kidding, right!?!

And I thought Sunny California was bad!

Detroit police officer in full uniform attacked inside gas station

Detroit Police said two men attacked an officer in full uniform Saturday evening at a Detroit gas station.

An off-duty Detroit Police Officer who was in full uniform and on his way to work the Taylor Swift concert was attacked at a Detroit gas station Saturday evening.

Detroit Police Chief James White said the officer stopped at a gas station on Joy Road around 5:30 p.m. on Saturday for gas and was in full uniform.

According to White, the officer was paying for his fuel inside the gas station when two men attacked him. One of the two was armed with a Glock, White said, and they were able to wrestle the officer’s gun away from him.

The officer fought back and they fought over the gun, which the officer was able to eventually get back.

White said the two suspects then fled from the scene and no shots were fired.

“Mama, sister, auntie, somebody turn them in tonight. We’re not going anywhere,” White said.

According to White, the officer was heading to work the Taylor Swift concert when he was attacked

The police were initially offering a $1,000 reward but upped to $5,000 just a few minutes later.

Detroit Police said two men attacked an officer in full uniform Saturday evening at a Detroit gas station.

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All About Guns You have to be kidding, right!?!

Somebody has found his niche in gun collecting!

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COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to be kidding, right!?!

Rudyard Kipling King Of The Road by The Field

He was a prolific writer, the first Briton to be awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature, who nonetheless declined the appointment as Poet Laureate and turned down a knighthood. Rudyard Kipling was feted in his day for his portrayal of stiff-upper-lip Englishness – even though his traditional values and literary reputation are now occasionally vilified by fashionable revisionism. This is the familiar Kipling. However, there was another side to him. The author and poet had a passion that later went on to be shared by millions. He loved motoring.

Kipling was drawn into the fraternity of the road by newspaper magnate Alfred Harmsworth, who drove down to Rottingdean on the Sussex coast in October 1899 to demonstrate his Panhard car to his literary friend. Motoring was “like being massaged at speed”, Harmsworth declared. Kipling and his wife, Carrie, took a 20-minute trip and were equally enthralled. The outing left them ‘white with dust and dizzy with noise – but the poison worked from that hour’, Kipling declared in Something of Myself.

Kipling and his wife were enthralled by motoring

He hired a car he called The Embryo, a Lutzmann Victoria of carriage crudeness with a single-cylinder engine and belt drive, capable of 8mph. The weekly cost, including chauffeur, was 31/2 guineas. When it arrived, it was “pawing the ground before the door” and the children started dancing around it, according to their cousin, Angela, granddaughter of Edward Burne-Jones (who later became the novelist Angela Thirkell).

Kipling promised the children a ride, but “the monster” refused to start. “We sat and sat in it while the chauffeur tinkered at its insides, and then had to get out with a promise for a real ride some day,” Thirkell wrote.

The GWK light car was one of the vehicles Kipling took an interest in

The GWK light car was one of the vehicles Kipling took an interest in

Kipling and his wife used it through the summer of 1900, ostensibly for house-hunting although he admitted that they simply enjoyed the “small and fascinating villages” of England. They were driven 20 or 30 miles after breakfast, lunching in hotels and returning home in the evening on virtually empty roads.

In 1901, Kipling purchased a US built Locomobile steam car that spent much of its time off the road, mainly because the petrol burners habitually blew out in a crosswind. On one 19-mile trip the car “betrayed us foully”, he wrote to a friend. “It was a devil of a day. It ended in coming home by train.” The car was noiseless, he conceded, “but so is a corpse”. Kipling felt he had been let down. “Her lines are lovely, her form is elegant, the curves of her buggy-top are alone worth the price of admission, but as a means of propulsion she is a nickel-plated fraud.”

British cars and innovation

The underwhelming experience with the Locomobile directed him towards British cars and genuine innovation, qualities that were combined in the Lanchester produced in Birmingham by Frederick and George Lanchester. They were designed as a motor car rather than a carriage adaptation, and with a power train that owed nothing to stationary engines and transmissions. Kipling’s 1902 purchase had a centrally mounted 10hp air-cooled engine with horizontally opposed cylinders.  Plus each piston had its own crankshaft and flywheel assembly, and two contra-rotating shafts to provide mechanical smoothness, a solution that later appeared in many modern engines. Unfortunately, this car, too, was trouble. On its delivery trip from the factory to Rottingdean, driven by George Lanchester, it suffered 21 tyre deflations.

A portrait of Rudyard Kipling from 1865

A portrait of Rudyard Kipling from 1865

Flats were commonplace at that early stage of motoring. Tyres were poorly constructed and road surfaces were rugged, so a set on a light car was expected to last no more than 2,000 miles and on a large car perhaps 1,000 miles. The Lanchester’s delivery journey proved to be a foretaste. Once in Kipling’s ownership, it broke down so often that he christened it Jane Cakebread after a prostitute notorious for 93 convictions. This is possibly the first recorded instance of a pet name for a car. Kipling became an addict. In 1903, the car underwent a six-month overhaul but still broke down so often that Lanchester provided a full-time engineer at 30 shillings a week, as well as a driver. Only after June 1904, when the firm supplied a new 12hp car that Kipling named Amelia, did the author experience comparatively trouble-free motoring.

The fuel for Kipling’s passion

Amelia fuelled Rudyard Kipling’s devotion to motoring so much that he said a car was a means of indulging one’s sense of English history. “A time machine on which one can slide from one century to another,” he said. Plus, he added, cars were good for the nation’s temperance and education, since drivers needed to remain sober and to read road signs. After trying a Siddeley in 1905, Kipling bought a Daimler he called Gunhilda. But in 1910 he was won over to what became known as ‘the best car in the world’. Travelling through France with his wife, Kipling encountered two friends in Avignon. These were the motoring peer Lord Montagu, who was trying out a new 60hp Rolls-Royce, and Claude Johnson, managing director at Rolls-Royce and the man known as the hyphen in the brand’s name.

Kipling accepted the offer of a spin and the party drove into the Alps, soaring up winding passes beyond the snowline as mountain panoramas unfolded with a grandeur beyond the expectations of even the much-travelled author. He followed up this experience with a lift to Paris and promptly ordered a Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost with limousine landaulet body by coachbuilder Barker. It was delivered in March 1911 – all for £1,500. He wrote to Johnson: ‘This place, which was reasonably quiet, simply stinks and fizzes with every make of car except R-R. It’s a Christian duty to raise the tone of the community. So when you’re ready, send it along.’ However, a fire at Barker’s and royal requests for coaches for the forthcoming coronation delayed the order.

Rolls-Royce raised the tone

Rolls- Royce lent him a car, then sent a Hooper-bodied limousine. Kipling rejected it and decided to pull strings through Max Aitken, later Lord Beaverbrook. He was also his friend, investment adviser and a Rolls-Royce shareholder. Aitken wrote to Johnson: ‘I warn you that Kipling is being lost to you entirely through downright neglect and ill usage.’ Johnson’s response was that, because of Kipling’s ‘complaints and wailings’, he would be glad to be rid of him, but the matter was settled amicably and the author took delivery of The Green Goblin. He ran it for two years, then part-exchanged it for another Silver Ghost 40/50hp he called The Duchess, which took the family to France in March 1914. Kipling kept it for seven years and sold it for £200 more than it had cost him, remarking dryly that Rolls-Royces were the only cars he could afford to run.

With their lives overshadowed by the fate of their 18-year-old son, John, unaccounted for after a Loos action in 1915, the Kiplings motored many miles after the war. They hoped to find someone who knew what had happened to him. They travelled many more to cemeteries as part of Kipling’s work as an Imperial War Graves commissioner. However, fast motoring could still enliven their day. Leaving the Villers- Cotterets cemetery where an Irish Guards memorial was mooted, The Duchess ‘broke all modest records… the first 16 miles in 25 minutes,’ he wrote. Then, at 46mph, they were overtaken by ‘a light blue two-seater with lots of luggage behind’.

Kipling in hot pursuit

Kipling ordered his chauffeur to set off in pursuit. The Rolls wound up to 50mph, ‘but even then we could not see him’. However, on a Scottish bend taken too fast, The Duchess came into her own: the car, he wrote, ‘hung on with her teeth and toenails, shattering gravel like shot under her mudguards and literally swearing like a cat on a wall’. Kipling owned three Silver Ghosts through the 1920s. He sold one back to the company, which shipped it to India where it was converted into a mobile temple. In 1928, he bought a Phantom 40/50 with his favourite black-and-green coachwork, dubbed Esmeralda. With blue Windover body, this car passed to the National Trust and is housed at the Kipling family home, Bateman’s, in Rottingdean.

But his enthusiasm was beginning to wane. In 1930, Rudyard Kipling lamented that careless drivers and accidents were taking the fun out of motoring. Nevertheless, in 1932 he bought a Phantom 1 20/25 with body by Abbott of Farnham, specifying that he could wear his top hat in the back. Although trips to the south of France and Marienbad were taken by train, the chauffeur drove the car from England to meet them. The Phantom 1 was Kipling’s last car. He died in 1936, and Carrie three years later. The next reference to it seems to have been a 1963 advertisement in The Times, offering it for sale with the stipulation that ‘only Empire loyalists or persons of similar persuasion need apply’.

The famous author was ‘no driver’

Keen on swift regal motoring though he was, Kipling was no driver. Chauffeurs sustained his passion and, for all his writings, a handful of simple lines published in the Daily Mail in 1904 seem to offer his motoring epitaph. It was entitled The Dying Chauffeur: Wheel me gently to the garage, since my car and I must part. No more for me the record and the run. That cursed left-hand cylinder the doctors call my heart Is pinking past redemption – I am done. They’ll never strike a mixture that’ll help me pull my load. My gears are stripped – I cannot set my brakes. I am entered for the finals down the timeless untimed road To the Maker of the makers of all makes.

Acknowledgements: Toni and Valmai Holt, The Kipling Society, Motor Sport
Want to read more motoring content from The Field? Click here. Read about the classical cars being given an environmental makeover here. And click here to read our guide to the best UTVs for rural estates.