As the world continued to look on in shock at the devastation being caused by multiple wildfires ravaging Southern California, people have been looking for what — or who — to blame.
To streamline the finger-pointing process, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of likely causes of the California wildfires:
- Lack of diversity in the fire department: Nothing causes more devastation than placing the most qualified candidates in positions based on merit.
- Capitalism: When was the last time you heard about wildfires happening in a socialist utopia? Exactly.
- Plastic straws: The effects of you drinking your iced frappés through plastic straws can be felt across the country.
- Steve: That guy is bad news.
- January 6: Further evidence that the attempted insurrection is a wound that will never heal.
- Racism: The flames of a wildfire are nothing compared to the scourge of white supremacy.
- Billy Joel: He claims he didn’t start the fire. But we know better.
- The Jews: Something bad happened? You know who to blame.
- Negative reviews of The Acolyte: None of this would have happened if Star Wars fans weren’t so filled with hate.
- Donald Trump: They tried to warn us about him. Now look what happened.
