Category: Well I thought it was funny!

As of writing, the United States has 1 Gold Medal in the Olympic shooting category, putting us in 3rd place behind China and South Korea. To say I am ashamed and embarrassed is to put it lightly. This is America, dammit! As a nation without free healthcare, guns are kind of all we have. We need to win this.

We need to send our best.

There’s various archetypes in every Marine platoon that you can always count on to be there. We’ve covered many of them before, but one of them is the lanky white redneck that can gut any animal, hit any target, and sleep with any one of his cousins. He’s been building his own guns out of rusty pipes and firecrackers since he was a kid, making him an expert in the shooting arts.

Today is the day we call upon him to bring us home the gold. We need you, lanky hillbilly guy.