Opinion: I call you ‘sir’ but that doesn’t mean I respect you, sir

How about a middle finger salute?

Jun 8

By Your Pissed Off Subordinate

My leave was denied for the third training weekend in a row? Understood, sir.

Can you please sign this quarterly awards package I submitted to you two quarters ago? Sir.

I appreciate you taking the time to counsel me on email etiquette. Sir. I don’t know what I would do without your constant vigilance to keep me in line. Sir.

It’s definitely not my fear of having my leave denied, a Letter of Counseling slid across my desk, or being assigned all the shitty details that make me call you sir. Sir. No, I call you sir because of the shining example you set as a leader. Sir.

A lead from the front attitude starts with an open door policy, and boy do you have one. Sir. We all find it so inspiring to be able to hear so clearly when you put your Exec at attention and rip him a new one for not also calling you sir. Sir. Even though you’re both the same rank. Sir.

I respect you because you’re not afraid to drop everything to make us better. Sir. Like that time you stopped an important meeting to publicly correct me for not using sir in every sentence. Sir. Or that time you had an 0600 Saturday muster for the entire company because we weren’t “appropriately enthusiastic” at your all-call. Sir.

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In conclusion, I just want to say how much we all respect you as our commander. Sir. We know such persistent diligence as yours is hard on the throat, and your sacrifice does not go unnoticed. Sir. For your endless commitment to leadership and the rank on your collar, we salute you.

Now, any chance we could circle back to that weekend leave? Sir.

Your Pissed Off Subordinate is a man by the people, for the people. He is every soldier, airman, sailor, and marine to walk god’s green earth and think to himself “my commander’s kind of a dick.” In his free time, Your Pissed Off Subordinate likes to get absolutely hammered and rant about how he’d be a better leader than you. Thanks to Grumpy for contributing to this article.