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The One Lesson Everyone Should Learn From Bondi Beach: Have a Gun By Kat Ainsworth Stevens

australia hanukkah bondi massacre killers

There was a glut of high profile violence that took place over the second weekend of December, and it wasn’t restricted to one state or country. The most egregious event didn’t take place here in the States. That was the Bondi Beach murder spree in Australia, something that will no doubt disappoint many in the gun control industry.

By last count 16 were murdered and more than 40 hospitalized. I’ve given this one the usual 72-hour pause to see what has come out, but that still doesn’t mean all the reported details are public or accurate. For that reason, we’re going to touch on the first rule of gunfights, which is: have a gun.

Gun Control vs. Gun Rights

First, let’s address the so-called elephant in the room. Australia’s extreme level of gun control is something most of us are familiar with. The National Firearms Agreement that Aussies are subject to was enacted back in the 1990s after a mass murderer shot and killed 35 people.

In response, the government did a mandatory “buyback” and ended up destroying around three-quarters of a million firearms (there’s no reliable number for that, so all we can do is ballpark it from various sources). Then they banned all auto or semi-auto firearms and made people prove they needed a gun for a darn good reason. And no, self-defense didn’t qualify as a good reason.

If they were granted ownership, the gun was registered and there were major constraints on its storage and use. Why am I using the past tense? Well…

former prime minister australia
The former prime minister of Australia poses with surrendered firearms from the mandatory buy back. (Photo: CNN)

It appears the current restrictions are about to be made even more restrictier (that’s totally a word). Only citizens will be allowed to obtain a gun license, assuming their reason for having one is considered good enough, and those qualifying reasons will be further limited.

Quantity and type of firearm will also be controlled more tightly, and it’s anyone’s guess what that will mean considering the current laws. Muskets? Capacity and scary features will also be further targeted.

South Wales Premier Chris Minns is on board with the changes:

We want to make sure that prospective reform and change in New South Wales has a lasting impact. If you’re not a farmer, if you’re not involved in agriculture, why do you need these massive weapons that put the public in danger and make life dangerous and difficult for New South Wales police?

The Aussie News Media, Though…

Within minutes of the mass murder hitting the newswire, people were posting about it on social media. There was a specific claim being thrown around, too, that Australia’s gun control clearly works because they’ve only had this one mass shooting in the past 30 years.

Most commenters making that claim backed it up by saying America’s already had more than 1000 mass shootings this year and at least 10,000 in 30 years.

There’s a lot here, but let’s take on the media first. Here in America (‘Murica!) our media pretty much runs wild. It’s protected by the First Amendment with some other amendments and case law throwing some weight into protections as well.

You might hate our mainstream media, but it’s better to have observable, unfettered media bias and opinions than to have one that’s controlled entirely by the government.

Australia’s media operates under ever-increasing restrictions that have actively tightened over the last few decades (which just happens to line up with their gun rights rollback). There’s more than I can get into here, so suffice it to say there’s no freedom of the press down under.

The Australian government likes to claim there’s nothing but happy times, sunshine, and freedom in the land of Oz, but that’s a lie.

Journalists can expect to have their homes and places of business raided and a range of penalties imposed if they upset the government. Feel free to get snarky in the comments, Aussies, but the American press has freedoms yours can only dream of.

In fact, Reporters Without Borders states:

Press freedom is not constitutionally guaranteed in this island-continent of 26 million people, but a hyperconcentration of the media combined with occasional pressure from the authorities on media professionals endanger public interest journalism.

Australia also has a lousy score for press accuracy and freedom everywhere that judges these things, except, of course, on Australian government sites.

australian press censorship
There’s no freedom of the press in Australia. (Photo: Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

One more thing: Australians can’t see everything you can see online. Restrictions mean some things are censored, including content that’s considered violent, that originated from a non-government-approved source, or if it’s coming from a digital source that hasn’t paid properly for the right to show news to Australians. This is a highly boiled-down summary, but you get the idea.

As for social media, plenty of Aussies in groups I’m in regularly ask people what various news stories say or show because they can’t see them on their own due to those government restrictions.

It’s a thing. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, no one actually knows what violent crimes might have occurred in Australia in the last 30 years thanks to the way their media, like their guns, are restricted.

As for what everyone thinks the gun violence rate is in America, that’s wild. No, there haven’t been 1000 mass shootings in 2025. The groups that put out that type of over-hyped, cooked information twist reality to fit their own narrative.

Is there a higher level of firearms-related violence in America than in Australia? Yes, but it would take forever for me to spell out details.

Read this post from Kostas Moros comparing the US and Australia if you want a clearer look at reality. Then circle back to asking Aussies, “Man, do you even know what’s happening in your own backyard? No. No you do not.”

The Hero of the Day

You’ve probably seen footage of the weekend’s Bondi Beach murders. The terrorist attack was (allegedly) carried out by a father-and-son duo, the elder of whom is now dead. The son’s rampage ended when an incredibly badass man named Ahmed Al-Ahmed decided to stop it.

Reports from Al-Ahmed’s cousin/brother (news reports are conflicting), who was with him at the time, state that the two men were walking by the Bondi Beach Hanukkah celebration when they were offered food.

Yes, this seems important—the Jewish families rejoicing in Hanukkah offered food to two passing men of Middle Eastern descent…and it became life-saving.

al-ahmed disarms killer
Al-Ahmed was captured on camera charging one of the killers and wrestling his gun away. (Photo: NBC News)

The men stopped. The killers then came on the scene and opened fire. Al-Ahmed and his cousin/brother hunkered down by a car and, according to the cousin/brother, Al-Ahmed turned to him and said, “I’m going to die – please see my family [and tell them] that I went down to save people’s lives.” Then he charged.

Al-Ahmed wrestled a shotgun away from the younger of the two killers and unsurprisingly, the murderer immediately backed away. During the scuffle, Al-Ahmed was shot in the arm and hand. He’s currently hospitalized, and there’s no doubt he saved lives.

There were other instances of bravery. One man ran up to the bridge where the father was shooting and kicked his gun away before he, himself, was shot by police. He survived and it’s been difficult finding the man’s name in the media despite video footage.

heroes charging shooter
Boris Gurman can be seen in the lavender shirt wrestling with one of the killers. He and his wife, Sofia, were murdered while trying to work together to stop the murders. (Photo: Reuters)

A sadder example of astounding courage was carried out by Boris and Sofia Gurman, an older couple whom made what was probably the earliest charge at one of the terrorists.

The moment was captured on the dash cam of a nearby car, and the car’s owner spoke to Reuters:

An elderly man by the roadside did not run away — instead, he charged straight toward the danger, using all his strength trying to wrestle away the gun and fighting to the death. I can see from my camera that the elderly man was ultimately shot and collapsed. That moment broke my heart.

Sofia Gurman was seen rushing around the side of another vehicle to help her husband, who initially disarmed the killer. Both Gurmans were murdered, but not before putting up a fight.

Then there’s Reuven Morrison, 62, who was also murdered trying to stop the carnage. Morrison’s daughter, Sheina Gutnick, told CBS News what happened (this was also captured by multiple cameras):

He had jumped the second the shooting started. He managed to throw bricks. He was screaming at the terrorist and protecting his community. If there is one way for him to go on this earth it would be fighting a terrorist.

Morrison’s daughter elaborated to A Current Affair:

“I got a message from a friend of mine that she was hiding her baby underneath her, and she saw my dad facing off the terrorists, saving precious moments.”

Footage from another moment shows Mr Morrison standing tall as bullets fly past and pointing his finger at shooter Sajid Akram, creating a distraction that allowed others time to run.

“Everyone was down on the ground and him up there running straight towards the danger, running straight towards that terrorist, facing him, straight down in the face, eye to eye,” Ms Gutnick said, “That was my dad. That was him.”

reuven morrison
Reuven Morrison is pictured in the white shirt, gripping a brick, approaching one of the murderers. (Photo: News.com)

Ahmed Al-Ahmed. Boris and Sofia Gurman. Reuven Morrison. You’re never forgotten as long as your name is said, and we’ll say their names, living and dead. It’s their heroism that should be remembered, not the murderous acts of a couple of terrorists.

The Police Will Save You…Or Not

Watching the Australian law enforcement response to the Bondi Beach murders was…disturbing. A lot of Aussie cops appear to subscribe to the Uvalde model of incident response.

There are photos of cops simply hiding behind vehicles waiting for the shooting to stop. There’s also at least one image of a police officer raising her hands in what viewers believed to be apparent surrender. (Regarding the controversy over the hands-in-air images, it’s very possible that was taken out of context. See below.)

australian law enforcement
This is the original, uncropped image of the Australian police officer with her hands raised. (Photo: Backgrid via news.com.au)

Most Australian police carry firearms. This is a semi-recent change due to the increase in armed criminals, something you just don’t see mentioned much in the media much.

It took decades for the various states to start issuing firearms to law enforcement, and it wasn’t until well into the 2000s that most Australian police are armed with some sort of firearm. Can they/do they use them? That’s a topic for a different story.

Police aren’t generally crime-stoppers. They’re clean-up. Unless you’re carrying one with you in your pocket, there’s not likely to be a police officer there to save you if and when the time comes. But don’t worry, they’ll be there later to put up crime scene tape and outline your body.

australian police officer bondi beach
This was taken from a video of the Bondi Beach murders as they took place. You can see the officer hiding behind a car. (Photo: M.A. Rothman via Facebook)

After watching more footage from Bondi Beach than I ever thought possible from a mass shooting, I came to an easy conclusion: the Australian police are scared.

They’re likely quite poorly trained in dealing with actual violence, but even so, it is sad to see the level of fear displayed by armed officers.

If you’re Australian and you’re reading this, just be aware that your police are woefully ill-prepared to help you. But have no fear. There’s a solution.

Get a gun

The first rule of a gunfight is to have a gun. Australians tend to disagree with this, although of course, there are some pro-gun people among them.

Thanks to their government, getting a gun isn’t easy for them. This is a sticky topic for myriad reasons. If you came for the op-ed part where I run my mouth, you’re in luck. Here we go.

Not only can Australians not simply draw a firearm to stop a mass murder, they can’t fight back against an increasingly tyrannical government (fight me…that’s what it is).

Australia had (has) some of the tightest, wildest COVID restrictions in the world. Only China had them beat. Lockdowns there were severe and kept most citizens from leaving home at all.

Many areas enacted travel limits of 5 kilometers (that’s 3.1 miles, guys), curfews, and border closings (as in, individual states and territories within the country closing borders). Police ran around arresting people. In 2025, mask wearing is no longer mandatory, except when it is (like if you’re on an airplane).

Full disclosure, I live in North Texas. I might not like all of the politics of the state, but this is the best place to live in America.

It isn’t just about guns, hunting, and brisket, either. Living in this part of Texas meant those pandemic restrictions were hit-or-miss at most. The pandemic was the perfect test to see how much control various governments could exert on citizens. In Australia, it was incredible in the most negative way possible.

The reality is, having a gun is the only way you’re going to effectively protect yourself from an imminent threat. It’s the only way you’re going to fight back when tyranny goes door-to-door. And it’s the only way you’ll feed your family if the grocery stores stop supplying food.

The Bondi Beach murders could have been halted much sooner if just one bystander had a gun. People were videotaping from windows and doors, from behind trees—absolutely close enough to stop the shooting.

The murderers didn’t even bother to take up protected positions. They paraded in the open as fired, mowing down innocent people, all while police cowered and unarmed citizens died charging them to try to and trying to stop the bloodshed.

But Kat, you say, America has way more gun violence than Australia! Clearly Australia’s gun control works!

Two problems with that. One is the government control and influence over the Australian media, meaning everything doesn’t get reported whether as news or statistics.

The other is that evil finds a way and that tends to involve knives and whatever other weapons can be used. And remember, kids, anything is a weapon if you’re creative or crazy enough.

Again, read yesterday’s post comparing “gun violence” in the US and Australia for a clearer view of the difference.

man in ambulance
A victim of the Bondi Beach murders being loaded into an ambulance. (Photo: NBC News)

Violent acts involving firearms here in America are just like the ones that happens in other countries, meaning they involve soft targets. Schools are a favorite because our government has, in its infinite wisdom, created shooting galleries known as gun-free zones.

Some states and schools, especially here in Texas, have decided to arm teachers and staff, creating harder targets and ours aren’t the schools that get hit.

Instead it’s those known as gun-free zones. Churches are another favorite, but that hasn’t worked out great for murderers in America thanks to the guys who are carrying pews while sitting in the pews (sorry, I had to).

Mass shootings involving firearms are far less common in America than some left-leaning sources would have you believe. And when they do happen, it’s people with guns who often take the bad guys out before police even get there.

The Hanukkah celebration at Bondi Beach was the ultimate soft target because no one in Australia is walking around armed. The killers knew that. You can expect more of these incidents as radicalized members of [insert-religion-or-belief-system-here] continue to get bolder. And they will.

If you don’t have a gun, you’re the perfect victim. Sadly, that goes for the heroes of Bondi Beach as well, because so many of them were murdered during courageous acts.

Get a gun.

One More Thing…

If you’re a member of a targeted community—Jews, trans people, whatever—and you’re anti-gun, you’re a fool. As a woman, white though I may be, I’m a believer in being able to utilize necessary force to keep myself alive. A rape whistle isn’t going to cut it. Neither is stomping on an attacker’s instep or peeing myself.

But don’t take my word for it, listen to Yehuda Remer, known to many of you as The Pew Pew Jew:

Jews need to remember we come from a warrior heritage. Picking up a firearm and training with it helps protect your person and those around you. Always remember, people with ARs don’t get in cattle cars.

Saying I’m pro-gun and pro-self-defense is an understatement. My reasons are everything from hunting to self-defense to protection against tyranny. Maybe I want to be able to go out and shoot a bunch of feral hogs (which I did last night) and fill my freezer. Perhaps I want to survive any encounter with a violent attacker. Or it could just be that I believe in freedom.

The deaths at Bondi Beach are heart-wrenching…and largely avoidable. But despite because of that bloodshed, I will not back down on the importance of firearms ownership. Sometimes that makes me and those like me appear to be unfeeling monsters when nothing could be further from the truth. We care, so we carry.

Get a gun. Eliminate soft targets. If we do more of both, things will change drastically for the better.

To quote Shane—because why not?—remember: “A gun is a tool…no better or worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel, or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.”

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Why Lawful Gun Owners Are Getting Arrested in Chicago BY Larry Z

For months, CBS News Chicago has been pulling on a thread that many lawful gun owners, especially Black gun owners, have lived with for years. Now, an inside source has said the quiet part out loud.

According to the exclusive report, some Chicago police officers are arresting law-abiding gun owners with valid FOID cards and concealed carry licenses anyway. And there may be career and financial incentives to do it.

The source, a decorated veteran officer who spoke under the condition of anonymity, said bluntly that race plays a role and that arrests tied to firearms can boost an officer’s numbers, visibility, and chances for promotion.

“If you have really high numbers in terms of firearms recovered,” the source told CBS. “You will get the attention of supervisors. If you get promoted, then yeah—you’re financially better off.”

The station documented multiple cases where Black gun owners followed the law perfectly, disclosed their firearms during traffic stops, presented valid licenses, and were still arrested and charged with felonies.

One of those cases involved Curtis Tarver, an Illinois state lawmaker. After being stopped for a minor traffic issue, Tarver immediately disclosed his firearm and showed police his FOID and concealed carry license.

Officers even acknowledged that everything appeared in order. Then they arrested him anyway after claiming his license was revoked in the system.

It wasn’t.

Tarver’s case was eventually dismissed. But not before he was booked, photographed, and publicly labeled a criminal. That mugshot still exists. The damage didn’t disappear when the charges did.

CBS Chicago also highlighted Louis McWilliams, a business owner who took the required classes, paid the fees, obtained his license, and carried legally. When police couldn’t immediately verify his CCL in the state database, he was arrested and charged with two felonies. Months later, prosecutors dropped the charges after confirming his license was valid all along.

And here’s the kicker: no one is tracking how often this happens.

Neither the Chicago Police Department nor the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office tracks how many lawful gun owners are wrongly charged and later cleared. Yet CPD provided a database showing more than 52,000 firearms seized as “illegal” since 2019. That includes guns belonging to people whose cases were dismissed.

Legal experts said Illinois law is clear: if a license holder presents valid credentials, disclosure requirements are met. Period.

But as one expert warned, the “no harm, no foul” mindset ignores the real consequences: arrest, jail, legal bills, lost jobs, public shaming, and permanent records that don’t magically vanish.

For gun owners watching from the outside, the message is unsettling. Follow the law, do everything right, and you still might get cuffed.

As CBS Chicago’s reporting shows, the issue isn’t public safety. It’s accountability. And until the system starts tracking these cases, the scope of the problem may be far bigger than anyone wants to admit.

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Ernest Rollings – What a Stud Grumpy

Welsh policeman Ernest Rollings was one of millions of men who enlisted for active duty in #WorldWarI
Thirteen years after the guns fell silent, he was hailed as The Man Who Ended The War.
During the Battle of Amiens in 1918, Lieutenant Rollings led a daring armoured cars raid 10 miles behind enemy lines. He and his men killed many Germans before they reached a farmhouse in the village of Framerville that was being used as an enemy base.
Rollings burst in to find the occupants had just fled, leaving a pile of hastily-torn documents.Rollings, who gathered up the papers, received a bar to his Military Cross for his bravery during the raid.
After the war, he returned to his career in the police service. Then in 1931, the Sunday Express reported that the papers recovered in Framerville contained detailed plans of all the gun posts, troop placements and defensive points along the seemingly impregnable Hindenburg Line.
The paper revealed that this intelligence and the subsequent Allied offensive probably shortened the war by six months and saved 500,000 lives.
Until then, the incredible importance of the papers had been unknown to the public and to the man who recovered them.
Neath police sergeant Ernest Rollings was tracked down by reporters and hailed in newspaper headlines as The Man Who Ended The War. At last, the extraordinary effects of his gallantry had been revealed.
Lieutenant Ernest Rollings, MC and Bar
September 15, 1893 – February 3, 1966
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Prince Harry’s Military Service Explained: Deployments, Duties, and Decorations

What a way to throw your life away and become a piece of Euro-trash! Grumpy

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They Know Who Commits the Crimes, but Do Nothing to Stop Them by David Strom 

    
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Beege wrote about the horrific gang shooting in Stockton, California, and her piece deserves a follow-up.
I kept an eye on the story over the weekend, and in particular, I watched with interest the propaganda campaign kick into gear to describe the event as “gun violence.”
Another mass shooting in America. This one close to home. My heart breaks for the victims in Stockton. Some of them are children, who died at a birthday party. If we can’t protect them from gun violence, who are we?
Four people are dead and at least 10 wounded after shooting at a family gathering in Stockton, California, officials say cnn.it/48bVQ1v
I hate that term, not because the violent acts don’t involve firearms. But it is as useful a description as the Brits’ “knife violence,” or describing both as “hand violence.” It’s stupid and intentionally deceptive.🇺🇸
@MarinaMedvin

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Imagine describing an attack on American service members as “gun violence.”
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I don’t want to get into yet another stupid fight about gun control. When any liberal starts mouthing off about how we need to control guns, I don’t even bother to argue most of the time anymore. I simply ask them, “How?” There are more guns than people in the United States, and trillions of rounds of ammunition. Even if you wanted to do it, explain how. Until you can, keep quiet and let rational people discuss how to deal with violence of any kind, the best we can.
Greg Price
The former deputy director of Joe Biden’s “Office of Gun Violence Prevention” gets very confused when Josh Hawley reads from his own report which says we should defund the police and invest in “safe-space initiatives led by two-spirit, trans people.”

And as soon as you think about it, the reason why we have “mass shootings” of the most common kind (not the random crazy people, although often in their cases as well) is clear: liberals won’t let us incarcerate known criminals. Because almost every “mass shooting” in those statistics liberals keep pointing to in their statistics is gang violence.
Just the News
@JustTheNews

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Gunfire erupted at a banquet hall in Stockton during a family gathering on Saturday evening, resulting in the death of four people and ten others wounded, authorities said.
As soon as news started breaking about the violence in Stockton at a kid’s birthday party, the left went into high gear blaming the availability of guns. My first thought was different: what do you want to bet that the perpetrators were known to the police, and the intended victims as well?
National Conservative
@NatCon2022

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This is the Filipino gangster rapper Nano of the Muddy Boyz gang, one of at least two mostly Filipino Crips gangs in Stockton. It was his daughter who was having a birthday party where multiple gangster rappers were present. 14 shot, 4 killed.
I was right, of course. It was a gang shooting, and the whole reason why these poor children are dead or wounded is that everybody around them is a degenerate, violent criminal who is known to the police.
Whether convicted or not, they are all criminals, have likely been through the criminal justice system (or should have been if anybody cared to enforce the law and incarcerate them), and all of this courld have been prevented if the lawmakers, activists, police, and especially the prosecutors and judges did their job instead of cultivating a culture of violence and impunity.

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Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell: “When a man does 6 or 7 crimes, we do not know his life story… Maybe he was hungry. Therefore, I have zero desire jailing him.”
Almost every perpetrator of horrific crimes is a “known wolf.” Most of the violent crime in our society is committed by a very small group of easily identified criminals, and most of them have had many interactions with law enforcement over the years. A lot of these people have active social media accounts where they brag about their exploits, and most of them know that they can commit crimes with impunity because they know the system will let them off.
Most of the time, that isn’t true if they get caught committing murder, unless they are juveniles, which is why gangs recruit juveniles to commit those crimes.
🚨🇺🇸 THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE FACT IN CRIME DATA: VIOLENT CRIME IS NOT RANDOM Violent crime in U.S. cities is not evenly spread. Not culturally. Not geographically. Not mathematically. It’s concentrated – absurdly concentrated – in fractions of fractions of the population. This Show more
🚨🇺🇸 OPINION: IN CHICAGO, CRIME ISN’T “RACIST,” BUT LETTING CRIMINALS WALK FREE IS Chicago is bleeding, and Mayor Brandon Johnson says the solution is not to incarcerate violent offenders… because doing so is “racist.” This comes after a career felon, with over 40 prior
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Violent crime in U.S. cities is not evenly spread. Not culturally. Not geographically. Not mathematically.
It’s concentrated – absurdly concentrated – in fractions of fractions of the population.
This isn’t ideology.
It’s decades of DOJ, PD, and academic data all pointing at the same tiny cluster:
• ~0.5% of residents linked to 50–70% of shootings
• Most homicide suspects have 8–12+ prior arrests
• Victims usually know their attackers
• Violence clusters block-to-block, not citywide
You are not going to solve the “violence” problem solely by focusing on the known wolves. But you will solve most of it, including the violence that threatens society. There will still be domestic violence, people who snap, and all the usual ills that have plagued mankind since we emerged from the primordial ooze, but we can pretty easily prevent shootings like this if we choose to.
Alec Lace
@AlecLace

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🇺🇸 America: Gang members drop mixtapes 🇸🇻 El Salvador: Gang members drop into CECOT megaprison 2024 gang homicides: Stockton, CA → 54 El Salvador → 0 One country coddles criminals. The other ended them. Choose your policy.
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We don’t have to go to El Salvador’s levels of repression of gang members to get things back under control, because we don’t have El Salvador’s levels of violence yet. We already have the tools, consistent with our Constitution, to dramatically change the dynamic. For the most part, we know who is doing these crimes, have had them in custody many times, and have let them back out into the streets. They often provide the evidence against themselves by advertising their impunity.
Collin Rugg
@CollinRugg

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NEW: Stockton, CA, vice mayor reminds residents that it’s “never been gangster” to kill kids after three children were killed at a birthday party. Officials now say the incident at a family gathering was due to “group gang violence.” Three children and one adult were killed. Show more

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NEW: Stockton, CA, vice mayor reminds residents that it’s “never been gangster” to kill kids after three children were killed at a birthday party.
Officials now say the incident at a family gathering was due to “group gang violence.”
Three children and one adult were killed. Eleven others were injured.
The victims were ages 8, 9, 14, and 21.
“It’s never been gangster to kill kids, never,” said Stockton Vice Mayor Jason Lee to residents.
Actually, yes, it is “gangster” to kill kids. Quit gaslighting us.
We have to quit making excuses for the criminals. We have to quit being squeamish about race. We have to crush the culture of impunity.
Crime will still exist, but Chicago-style crime will not. The biggest barrier to curbing gang violence is the very liberals who complain about “gun violence.”
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Good luck on trying to see it in LA, I bet!

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Chicago Judge Hoping 23rd Time Is The Charm For Rehabilitating Violent Criminal U.S. by Babylon Bee

Image for article: Chicago Judge Hoping 23rd Time Is The Charm For Rehabilitating Violent Criminal
CHICAGO, IL — A Chicago judge ruled this week that a man previously arrested 23 times for various crimes would be totally rehabilitated if let off the hook this time around.

District judge Madeline Cartwright let 42-year-old serial robber, strangler, vagrant, rapist, and child abuser Jaquen Marcus off the hook following his 23rd arrest, with the assurance that this time would be different.

“I just know he’s going to turn his life around this time,” Cartwright said. “He’s been in front of my bench for theft, larceny (whatever that is), assault, jaywalking, attacking an officer, making false arrest claims, racketeering (whatever that is), kidnapping, animal abuse, a few rapes, more kidnapping, more assault. But I know this time around, if I let him go, he’ll straighten up and fly right.”

Marcus assured the judge he was a changed man and would never ever commit another crime ever again as long as he lived.

“If you put me back out in those streets, I will join the local church choir and volunteer at the homeless shelter and help grandmas cross the street and donate all my money to the poor and eat only ethically sourced meat and turn off all my lights when I leave my house,” Marcus said.

At publishing time, Marcus was back in front of Judge Carwright after slashing the tires of an ambulance that was trying to transport a man to the hospital to receive a heart transplant.

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Leadership of the highest kind Paint me surprised by this Soldiering Some Red Hot Gospel there! Stand & Deliver The Green Machine This great Nation & Its People

Some great news for the Green Machine!! Also kudos for the 11th Airborne

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The Worst Place I Have Ever Been

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All About Guns I am so grateful!! Leadership of the highest kind Manly Stuff One Hell of a Good Fight Our Great Kids Paint me surprised by this Real men Soldiering Stand & Deliver The Green Machine This great Nation & Its People War

The Guns of General Norman Schwarzkopf

Its a pity that they were not given to West Point or the US Army Museum. But that’s just me! Grumpy