Category: Fieldcraft
Jeremy will leave it to Dr. Dabbs to tease out the finer points of copperhead bites.
Suffice it to say, they’re venomous, aggressive and you do not want to tangle with them.
“It” was about 2′ long or so, big for its breed, and facing away from me where I couldn’t see the sinister smile concealing its fangs. I’d seen plenty of copperheads before and knew one this close to the house had pretty much signed its own death warrant. I’d seen him — though not until I was waaay too close, but I might not the next time.
This Cold Steel Recon Tanto split Jeremy’s kindling for five years without
being sharpened. It also eased a couple serpents into their slithery afterlife,
something we can’t in good conscience recommend.
Multitasking Geometry
Still carrying on my business call, I pondered my options. To this point, I had only ever killed copperheads with a knife. A dangerous business, but geometrically logical: Intersecting a line (the snake) with another line (the blade of my Cold Steel Tanto) was easier than intersecting a line (the snake) with a point (read: bullet). To be fair, I hadn’t actually graphed all this out the first time I did it.
This titanium Commander Jeremy built on a long trip to Novak’s was state
of the art for the time with its matching .22 conversion, G10 grips and Answer
one-piece backstrap. Unfortunately, he didn’t drive it well going mano a mano
with a pit viper while on the phone.
Slither At Me, Bro
I was walking back to the car one night in the national forest after showing off my camp cooking skills to a girl when a particularly aggressive copperhead showed up in the halo of my Coleman lantern and headed my way. I snatched the Cold Steel out of its scabbard and decapitated the serpent with a swipe before I realized I had just gotten into a knife fight with a venomous snake. I won, but was a bit shaky about it. Then I justified it by the angles, and the feeling turned to “slither at me, bro.”
I’d done it again, also in the dark, when my friend I was following down a trail nearly stepped on one. This snake took two hits to kill, but kill him I did.
This time, though, with a hand holding the phone to my ear, I knew I didn’t have the range of motion to make it work with a blade, and trying meant I would almost certainly get bitten. Inexplicably, I completely ignored the shed in front of me, with its hoes, rakes and shovels, as well as an entire barn next to me filled with all the implements previously used to work the land. Instead, I fixated on something entirely new: My .22 suppressor.
I’d seen him — though not until I was waaay too close, but I might not the next time.
There’s more than one wrong way to kill a snake, and using a knife
is one of them. Don’t let the two copperheads this one killed fool you;
it’s a bad idea with anything. Try it with a rattler and you’re likely to
attain immortality in the Darwin Awards.
SBD
The paperwork had just cleared for my first silencer. Even better, I had a new titanium-framed 1911 freshly built on a recent trip to Novak’s, along with its matching .22 conversion. My plan was simple: Walk into the house, carrying on the conversation with el presidente, assemble the conversion onto my new pistol, screw on the can, walk outside — doing my best 007 impression — and pop, Bond’s your uncle. With the low report of the suppressed shot, it wouldn’t be heard through the phone and there would be no interruption to the call, which was important. As I said, I didn’t really know this man, and I wanted to impress him.
All went well until first contact; I walked up behind the snake, lined him up over those Novak LoMounts and pressed the trigger. The pistol made a gentle “pop,” and the earth exploded beneath the copperhead as the bullet nicked him. He warped around at the speed of heat, immediately striking and striking again while I desperately crab-walked backward, one-handing shots at him while he, equally fervent, continued trying to kill me. Pop. Pop. PopPopPop. Pop.
The photo Jeremy sent that night. This whole thing really wasn’t the best idea.
End Times
The end of the mag was near, and my options with it, when I finally anchored him with a solid head shot. By now, the president had long since gone silent.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sure you’re wondering what that was.”
“It sounded like a .22 rifle,” he responded drily.
“Close. It was a suppressed pistol. I, uh, had to kill a pit viper.”
I’ll never really know whether he believed me in that moment or not; I only know he asked for a photo of me, the snake and the gun.
Which I sent. He and I are friends to this day, and I like to think that near-lethal phone call cemented the relationship. Of course, I may just like to think that.
When it comes to venturing into the outdoors to either go camping, hiking, hunting, or to snap some dope pics for the ‘Gram (Instagram), we as gun owners like to debate the merits of firearms against apex predators. Whether it is the local meth head from the trailer park “cooking” in the State Park or a more likely encounter of a bear in the woods. What is your best defense?… A sidearm like a big-bore revolver or is it “Bear-Grade” pepper spray. If you have resolved to carrying a revolver in bear country, let’s take a look back at some of the more entertaining options to come from the firearm industry in the Revolvers vs Bears debate.
Wheelgun Wednesday @ TFB:
- Wheelgun Wednesday: What’s Your Go-To Barrel Length For Revolvers?
- Wheelgun Wednesday: Current Chinese Police Revolvers – NRP9 and ZLS05
- Wheelgun Wednesday: Smith & Wesson Classic – What’s Old is New Again
- Wheelgun Wednesday: ‘Dangerous’ Saturday Night Special – Why Illegal?
REVOLVERS VS BEARS – IS A GUN YOUR BEST OPTION?
For those of us who watch TFBTV (make sure to Like & Subscribe), you may remember that James Reeves has covered the debate of Revolvers vs Bears quite a bit over the years. He dropped 3 different videos over a 2 year period debating whether you should use a .44 Magnum, 10mm, or simply bear spray.
- TFBTV – Bears vs Handguns: Defending Yourself in Bear Country
- TFBTV – Guns & Bears: Glock 10mm or .44 Magnum for Protection?
- TFBTV – So… Are Guns or Bear Spray More Effective Against Grizzlies? (Guns vs. Bears, Episode 3)
I take James’ opinion on this matter very seriously because where I might have 30+ more years of experience in hunting (including black bears – generally passive), James on the other hand has hiked probably 1/2 of our National Parks with his wife over the years and encountered innumerable brown bears (significantly more aggressive temperament). His scholarly research and anecdotal experiences have led him to believe that it’s almost a dead tie for what you should be using (guns versus bear spray), but some recent research tips the scale in favor of firearms. So, with that intelligent, cogent analysis from our in-house lawyer, let’s discuss completely stupid guns that were discontinued that could have been used in the past in the Revolvers vs Bears debate.
REVOLVERS VS BEARS – IS A GUN YOUR BEST OPTION?
There was a small window of time in the late ’90s and early 2000s where Smith & Wesson thought it was a rad idea to make “Emergency Survival Tool Kits.” You got a Pelican-style case full of goodies to fool yourself into believing you were Bear Grylls, but with less knowledge than a cub scout. You got such marketing hype survival items as a Mylar space blanket, a whistle, a Smith & Wesson Extreme Ops folding knife, and a “Bear Attacks of The Century” survival book just to elicit some pucker factor. You also got a deafening, blinding, and atrocious to shoot Model 500 with a 2 3/4″ barrel (talk about “riding the lightning”).
- Smith & Wesson Model 500 Revolver in .500 S&W Magnum – 2 3/4″ Barrel with Bright Orange Hogue Grips
- (1) Orange Waterproof Storm Case
- (1) Blast Match Firestarter
- (3) Wetfire Fire Starters
- (1) Saber Cut Saw with Nylon Sheath
- (1) Jet Scream Whistle
- (1) Star Flash Signal Mirror
- (1) Polaris Compass
- (2) MPI Mylar Space Emergency Blankets
- (1) Smith & Wesson Extreme Ops Liner Lock Folding Knife with Nylon Sheath
- (1) “Bear Attacks of The Century” Survival Book
- (1) Master Lock
- (1) Set of Keys for Internal Lock
- (1) Shipping Box Numbered to the Gun and Papers
Smith & Wesson Model 500 (Emergency Survival Tool Kit) .500 S&W Magnum
Anybody who questioned their manhood ran out and bought these because it was like Smith & Wesson issuing free “Man Cards” to anyone who owned one (at the modest fee of $800 – $1,000 and some broken wrists). If you were going with the family to Alaska to drink beer from a boat spot brown bears, this revolver was a MUST. This revolver’s fast cult following brought a 2nd iteration for us to feast our eyes on – the Smith & Wesson Model 460 (Emergency Survival Tool Kit) .460 S&W Magnum.
- Smith & Wesson Model 460 Revolver in .460 S&W Magnum – 2 3/4″ Barrel with Bright Yellow Hogue Grips
- (1) Yellow Waterproof Storm Case
- (1) Blast Match Firestarter
- (3) Wetfire Fire Starters
- (1) Saber Cut Saw with Nylon Sheath
- (1) Jet Scream Whistle
- (1) Star Flash Signal Mirror
- (1) Polaris Compass
- (2) MPI Mylar Space Emergency Blankets
- (1) Smith & Wesson Extreme Ops Liner Lock Folding Knife with Nylon Sheath
- (1) “Bear Attacks of The Century” Survival Book
- (1) Master Lock
- (1) Set of Keys for Internal Lock
- (1) Shipping Box Numbered to the Gun and Papers
Smith & Wesson Model 460 (Emergency Survival Tool Kit) .460 S&W Magnum
To not confuse those who were basking in the glow of another man’s manliness, this new variation in .460 S&W Magnum had all bright yellow accouterments. You got a nearly identical kit of survival tools as well. This revolver also became legendary and scarce from the time it was initially produced until it was eventually discontinued.
Right when all the glow and buzz of Smith & Wesson’s “Emergency Survival Tool Kits” was about to burn out, Taurus decided to jump on the bandwagon. They came out with some “First 24” survival kits alluding to being able to survive those first 24 hours alone before help can come save you in a Bear Grylls-esque survival situation (cue Google searches for “is that a psilocybin mushroom, or an edible one”). These Taurus First 24 kits were not meant to be directed at dropping 1,300 Lb grizzly bears, but that didn’t stop people on the internet from entertaining the thought of using a .357 Magnum or .45 Long Colt to do so.
- Taurus 617 (X-COAT Black) .357 Mag | Taurus Judge (XCOAT Tan) .45 LC/.410 Gauge
- AimPro Tactical Enhancement Package
- I-Series SKB Case (Black or FDE)
- (2) HKS Speed Loader or (2) Bianchi Speed Strips
- CRKT Sting (Black or FDE)
- Brite-Strike® ELPI (Black or FDE)
- Brite-Strike® APALS (green/red/white) – 1 each color
- Hogue Inc. Mono-grip
- Zippo Fire Starter kit
- Energizer batteries (AA)
- Slim Line caddy for batteries
- 550 Para cord bundle (20ft)
- Survival blanket
- Suunto Compass
- MSRP $1399 (Model 617) | MSRP $1,499 (Judge)
Taurus “First 24” Kits – Model 617 .357 Magnum & Judge .45 LC/.410 Gauge
REVOLVERS VS BEARS – SO, WHAT’S NEXT?
Now, if you are able to find either of the Smith & Wesson “Emergency Survival Tool Kits” they sell for $2,000+ online and at auctions. Even the more affordable Taurus “First 24” kits sell for $1,000+ (if you can actually find one). So, I beg the question: what is next? Do you think we’ll ever see a resurgence of these revolvers? Would Ruger throw their hat in the bear survival ring with a cringy kit? As always, let us know all of your thoughts in the Comments below! Also, read on further for an NSFW gun counter story. We always appreciate your feedback.
[NSFW] Revolvers vs Bears: Selling Revolvers for Bear Defense – True Story from the Gun Counter
Alright, now that all the people with delicate sensibilities have left the article, let me share a crass, but hilarious story from my years managing a gun store (which is still my day job).
[Scene] – I am standing by the gun counter with an old regular of mine, Richard, shooting the breeze about nothing. Richard is a tiny man, a veteran, bent over, old, looks like hell, but he lived one hell of a life; the stuff that should be put in patriotic movies.
A young kid comes in strutting through the store looking for a revolver. He needs a BIG revolver as he states because he’s going huntin’ in grizz country. I smile as Richard shakes his head disapprovingly. I can only imagine this young kid is looking for some kind of rite of passage to come into his own… be a man… figure out who he is in this life. I see myself in him, but I’ve got 15+ years on him.
This young man – 110 Lb sopping weight, maybe – slides his way down the gun counter towards where Richard and I are still BS-ing about nothing. The young man prompts another co-worker of mine to pull out that massive one, right thar (inject as much Northwoods, gravy inflection into that as you can). It is magnificent – a Smith & Wesson 500 with an 8 3/8″ barrel. It has a finish so bright you can see your reflection.
Richard, once again, is disapprovingly shaking his head. The young man starts groping that huge, magnificent revolver like he’s a TSA worker at the airport. He is simply in awe of it. Finally, Richard can’t take it anymore. He gruffs under his breath, “That’ll never do.” The young man whirls his gaze at this feeble, small, old man. Although his stature was small, Richard had violent eyes; someone you didn’t mess with it. The young man gave Richard his undivided attention: “Why not?!”
Richard elaborates, “The front sight… it’s all wrong… you need to shave that clear off.”
The young man is utterly perplexed. He concerningly asks, “But why would I do that?…”
“Then,” Richard says with a smile, “when that grizzly bear shoves that revolver up your a$$ before he eats you, it’ll hurt less going in.”
This young man was ghost white, scared, confused, and not sure what to make of the situation. Finally, I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I busted a gut laughing so hard that I started crying. Richard joined in in uncontrollable laughter. So much so, that he fell over and I had to help him stand back up.
This young man finally cracked a nervous smile and laughed, too. He stayed in our store for over an hour as we discussed ballistics, Stopping Pow-Ah, holster options, bear spray, and all manner of things. He did eventually buy a revolver, Richard then recommended some 60-grit sandpaper, we laughed again, and the kid ran off happy with his purchase.
Remember… in the struggle of Revolvers vs Bears some of your greatest allies are avoidance, situational awareness, and lastly swift, violent action. Similar to any self-defense situation.
Adam Scepaniak
Editor | AllOutdoor.com
Writer | OutdoorHub.com
Writer | TheArmoryLife.com
Writer | Tyrant CNC
Writer | MDT Chassis Systems
Smith & Wesson Certified Armorer
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Firefighter/EMS
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AFRICA HUNT Q&A
Cop Talk Colt
Colt 1877 DA was a favorite of Hardin’s by the time of his death. It ain’t about the guns, it’s about timeless human dynamics.
We can’t expect to defeat enemies we don’t understand. It’s why LAPD’s officer survival guru Rich Wemmer interviewed cop-killers in prison, and why Dennis Anderson and Charles Remberg did the same for their Calibre Press Street Survival book and seminars.
There’s little new in the concept, and an often ignored source of research are incidents from relatively long ago. In his letters and particularly his autobiography, John Wesley Hardin bragged about how he killed policemen in the third quarter of the 19th Century. The cunning ploys he used remain lethally dangerous to cops today.
In his own words, Hardin — a racist anti-authoritarian who hated African-Americans and lawmen with equal venom — detailed how he murdered black Texas State Police officer Green Perrymore in September, 1871. Hardin wrote the arresting officer had him at gunpoint when “He said, ‘Give me those pistols.’ I said ‘All right,’ and handed him the pistols, handle foremost. One of the pistols turned a somerset in my hand and went off … and (sent) him sprawling on the floor with a bullet through his head, quivering in blood.”
cop talk book
The Last Gunfighter is the most useful Hardin biography Mas has found.
Hidden Second Weapons
With 41 dead men attributed to his tally, the one murder for which Hardin was convicted and served hard time was the death of Deputy Charles Webb in 1874. Hardin wrote, “… I told him my pistol was behind the bar and threw open my coat to show him. But he did not know I had a good one under my vest.” That was the one he used very shortly thereafter to shoot the deputy in the brain. Hardin was arrested for it years later — leading to the following.
Hardin bragged he had killed multiple officers with their own guns he grabbed when he caught them off guard. But at least one lawman was savvy enough to see that coming and save his own life, and that of his brother officer.
It happened in 1877. Texas Rangers had arrested Hardin on a train in Pensacola, Florida for the murder of Deputy Webb. The lawmen had killed Hardin’s accomplice, Jim Mann, and pistol-whipped Hardin into submission in the course of that arrest.
Captain John Armstrong and Special Detective Jack Armstrong were transporting the handcuffed Hardin to jail and trial. Like so many psychopaths, Hardin used his charming personality to lull his intended victims off guard. Here, in a letter to his wife, Hardin explained how he planned to escape:
“Jack and Armstrong were now getting intimate with me, and when dinner came I suggested the necessity of removing my cuffs and they agreed to do so. Armstrong unlocked the jewelry and started to turn around, exposing his six-shooter to me, when Jack jerked him around and pulled his pistol at the same time. ‘Look out,’ he said, ‘John will kill us and escape.’ Of course, I laughed at him and ridiculed the idea.
It was really the very chance I was looking for, but Jack had taken the play away just before it got ripe. I intended to jerk Armstrong’s pistol, kill Jack Duncan or make him throw up his hands. I could have made him unlock my shackles, or get the key away from his dead body and do it myself. I could then have easily made my escape. That time never came again.”
cop hardin
Hardin: This cop-killer wrote an autobiography, The Life of John Wesley Hardin. It’s harder to defeat enemies you don’t understand.
Constant Vigilance
As we look sadly upon such recent events as the murder of Wyandotte County, Kansas Deputies Patrick Rohrer and Theresa King in June, 2018, slain when a suspect they were transporting gained control of a police weapon, we are reminded this sort of thing is a continuing concern. Security holsters and weapon retention training have improved the situation, but constant vigilance and keeping our guard up remain keys to survival.
The Letters of John Wesley Hardin by Roy and Jo Ann Stamps, The Last Gunfighter: John Wesley Hardin by Richard Marohn, and The Life of John Wesley Hardin Written By Himself are all compelling resources, available through Amazon or your local library. They remind us homicidal gunmen aren’t about AR15’s or modern trends. They’re about timeless human dynamics, and the more we know about how these events have happened in the past, the better we can prepare to keep them from recurring in the future.
Hospitals can be the source of some seriously high drama. Sometimes it
comes from unexpected quarters. Unsplash photo. Photographer: JC Gellidon
I am a man greatly blessed. I have seen the world, served my country and saved a few lives. I get to write for gun magazines and claim it’s work. Friends describe me as the luckiest man alive. I cannot dispute that appellation. However, one “lucky” episode stands above all others. As hard as it is to believe, yours truly did actually get an order of fries and a hamburger from a McDonald’s restaurant while they were still only serving breakfast.
This tale begins in the ICU with a hulking female drug addict who had recently overdosed. She came out of her drug-addled stupor enraged, belligerent and ready to rock. Before anyone could intervene, she tore out her IV lines and perched on the side of the bed — snarling. The ICU staff called both the cops and the on-call psychiatrist.
I was but a lowly medical student on the first day of my psych rotation. We arrived in the ICU to find pure, unfiltered bedlam.
Appreciate the scene. This was not one of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders — this woman was absolutely huge and utterly out of her mind. The two cops were impressive physical specimens in their own rights. This was shaping up to become World War III in microcosm.
The psych resident uttered a few well-placed words, declared victory and retired to write in the chart. That left the enormous, drug-addicted crazy woman, two surly cops, a dozen or so highly-trained ICU staff watching from a healthy distance and yours truly. Everybody inexplicably stared at me.
“So, pretty crummy day, huh?” I inquired amicably.
The woman glared at me, gestured to the two cops, and said flatly, “First I’m going to kill them, then I’m going to kill you, and then I’m leaving.” The verbiage has been sanitized out of deference to sensitive readers.
Drawing on my vast well of psychiatric experience I responded, “You look miserable. How about something to eat?”
At that the woman’s visage grew quizzical.
“You know, I am hungry. What you got?” she asked.
I looked around and saw no food handy.
“Well,” I said, “There’s a McDonald’s in the hospital. Let’s make a deal. You tell me what you’d like, and I’ll go get it. In return you promise me you’ll stay here and not attack those two nice police officers before I return. What do you think?”
She mulled it over for a moment and agreed. We actually shook on it.
Unsplash Photo. Photographer: Shahbaz Ali Ye
The McDonald’s in this massive hospital was located right next to the cardiac cath lab. I found this oddly amusing. I declared a medical emergency and pushed my way to the front of the line. The sullen uniformed teenager looked perturbed, as did the other patrons, but this was a hospital. Weird stuff happened there.
I explained that I needed a Big Mac, a large order of fries and a Coke. Like an automaton she explained it was ten after ten in the morning. They wouldn’t be serving from the lunch menu for another twenty minutes. I needed to pick something more breakfast-ish.
The crazy chick in the ICU had been very specific. I elaborated it was an emergency. There was somebody in the ICU who was going to die if I didn’t get a Big Mac, a large order of fries and a Coke. The teenager’s eyes grew wide, and she summoned her manager. I repeated my request and said I didn’t have time to explain.
The manager sprang into action.
Unsplash Photo. Photographer: Aliazukrina Wqyan
“Drop me some fries!” he shouted. “Grill me a Big Mac! Get this man a Coke!” I tore off mere moments later with exactly what I needed. In case you’re wondering — emergency or not — I did have to pay for it.
The drug addicted woman was right where I left her and indeed grateful for the food. I kept her company while she ate. Once sated she thanked me and explained yet again the order in which she was going to murder everybody. However, the ICU staff had made good use of the intervening time.
A nurse had drawn up about half a quart of Haldol, a powerful antipsychotic medication. He slipped up behind her and jabbed her in the butt through her hospital gown. After the expected bit of unfettered chaos she calmed right down and ultimately got the help she needed.
Saving lives is one thing. Most anybody can do that. However, yours truly did actually once get a Big Mac out of McDonalds at 1010 in the morning. It’s arguably my most amazing accomplishment.