Category: Blessed with some of the worst luck

From Splendid Isolation:

If you’re anything like me, you’ll be wanting a cigarette after reading this lovely little story — even if like me you don’t smoke.

An intruder who used brass knuckles to beat against a front door and break a window just before midnight Friday in Missouri was shot multiple times by the homeowner and killed.

KFVS 12 reported that the homeowner, Austin Glastetter, was in the house with his wife at the time of the incident.

Glastetter told the suspect, 31-year-old John Fisher, that he was armed, but Fisher allegedly responded by saying, “You’ll have to kill me.”

Wait, wait, hold it in for just a minute…

Glastetter then shot Fisher multiple times.

And:

The Scott County Sheriff’s Office issued a release noting that deputies arrived on the scene to find Fisher deceased.

Smoke ’em if you got ’em…