Anyway, my appointment rolled around on April 21 at 11 a.m. I showed up at the Penumbra Kelly Building, home of the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office (MCSO), a few minutes early. Even though I’ve lived through nightly riots in Portland, I was still taken aback at the appearance of the building. Plywood covering EVERYTHING. I walked in, and the lobby was completely unlit. I looked up and saw plywood covering all the windows.
It looked like the working definition of dystopia.
I took their COVID-19 quiz and had my temperature taken. After a few minutes, the two ladies who process the paperwork arrived. Since I had arrived first, I was up. I walked into the little room to get my picture taken, get fingerprinted, etc.
We made small talk: “Boy, you guys are backed up, huh?”
“Yeah,” one of them replied, “it’s been pretty busy.”
“Seems like a nice place to work, at least, with all the plywood …” That engendered a snicker from both.
Related: Gun Sales in U.S. Set New Records in January, Fresh Off Huge Sales In 2020
The one lady finished taking my digital fingerprints, and the other took my $65 license fee. I was now into this thing for $120, the cost of the exam and the fee for the license. Next up, they took my picture for my concealed handgun license.
I got my receipt, my ID, and my certificate of course completion back. What the clerk said next caused me to double-take, as if I hadn’t heard her correctly.
“Ok now, this is not a license.”
“I—I’m sorry?”
“This is not a license. You won’t be receiving your license today.”
This, as you may imagine, was news to me.
“Yeah,” she said to me, “we still have to run the background check, and process your paperwork.”
I blinked back at her, disbelievingly.
“It could be up to 90 days.”
Now, mind you, I’ve legally purchased an undetermined amount of firearms in the not-so-distant past (all of which, I must reiterate, I tragically lost in a boating accident). When things got super busy, around Christmas time, my background check took up to an hour or two.
The MCSO told me that the entire process, from application, to safety certification, to license issue, will stretch from December 2020 to around July. Eight months.
Good thing Portland hasn’t given anyone a reason to need a concealed handgun over the past year and a half.
Remember, I had decided in the interim to pack my family up and move to Florida. This will happen sometime in June. Here’s the ironic thing. It’s almost certain that my new Oregon concealed handgun license will need to be forwarded to my new address out of state if and when it is finally issued. It’s also entirely possible that I will get my Florida license well before my Oregon license arrives.