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A Red Cross Worker In Afghanistan Looks Up Stats On ESPN.com
CAMP PENDLETON, CA – Members of the American Red Cross held a press conference last week with the 1st Marine Division to proudly announce that Red Cross emergency messages would now carry both ‘Dear John letters’ and sports scores.
“For the longest time people have only associated Red Cross emergency messages with things like the death, severe illness of a family member, or birth of a child,” said William Gossett, regional manager for the Red Cross’ western district.
“But now we can also inform you that your favorite football team just won the big game, or that your wife is leaving you due to your sexual inadequacy.”
According to Gossett, multiple surveys over the past two years showed the majority of deployed servicemen and women were overwhelmingly in favor of adding both.
Message-traffic has increased ten-fold in the days since the policy change, going from 68 messages a day to over 700.
Reactions by deployed personnel have varied.
“Yeah, it’s totally cool,” said Corporal Chris Dirksen. “We were in the middle of a firefight when this Osprey came in low over the battlefield and said: ‘CORPORAL DIRKSEN! THE NATIONALS HAVE BEAT THE CARDINALS 7-4!’ I was so stoked I actually high-fived the Taliban I was slicing open with a bayonet!”
Sergeant Shaniqua Johnson, with Explosive Ordnance Disposal, had a different story.
“I was right in the middle of placing a charge on this 400 pound command-wire IED when my Battalion Sergeant Major comes rolling up in a truck yelling, ‘Sergeant Johnson! Gary says it’s over! Keep the kids! He doesn’t care!'”
“I suppose it wouldn’t have been that bad if my Staff Sergeant hadn’t immediately asked if that meant I was single now.”
Although the Red Cross’ actions have been highly applauded by the service chiefs as “waking up to the reality of deployment,” the move may very well bankrupt the Red Cross organization over time.
Red Cross officials have privately spoke about being overwhelmed by the influx of requests. Three of their dedicated servers have shut down due to the massive increase in traffic and dozens of employees have quit for stress-related reasons.
The Red Cross has already begun revamping the entire program.
One official, speaking off the record, said “the Red Cross messages used to be relatively costless for us, as the only expenses needed were the manpower to make the phone call or send the email. But if this keeps up we may be broke in as little as four months.”
Duffel Blog investigative journalist Fernando also contributed to this report.
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Both of these projects were the MOST expensive war programs in WWII! Several BILLION 1945 Dollars but I think that we got our monies worth. Grumpy
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It’s not every day that you hear about the IRS packing heat. But that’s exactly what’s been happening, to the tune of $35.2 million. Iowa’s Senator Joni Ernst is saying enough is enough.
Ernst, the straight-shooting Republican, is spearheading a move to disarm the IRS. Yes, you heard it right. She’s calling out the tax agency for splurging taxpayer dollars on weapons, ammunition, and military-grade gear.
Since 2006, the IRS has been spending wildly. They’ve spent over $35.2 MILLION on an arsenal that would make some small countries blush. They’ve dropped $10 million on weaponry and gear since 2020 alone.
Sen. Ernst Calls ‘Em Out
“The taxman is fully loaded at the expense of the taxpayer,” Ernst said in a press release obtained by GunsAmerica. “As the Biden administration has worked to expand the size of the IRS, any further weaponization of this federal agency against hardworking Americans and small businesses is a grave concern.”
“I’m working to disarm the IRS and return these dollars to address reckless spending in Washington,” she added.
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Why Is the IRS Playing War
The question that’s tickling everyone’s mind is, why is the IRS playing at war?
According to Adam Andrzejewski, CEO of Open the Books, the IRS isn’t just buying handguns for self-defense. They’ve been stocking AR-style rifles, semi-automatic shotguns, and even submachine guns. They’ve also stockpiled 5 million rounds.
“The IRS special agent is starting to look less like a desk worker or rule maker and more like a SWAT team from a Hollywood thriller. It’s the blurring of the lines between a tax agency and traditional law enforcement,” observed Andrzejewski.
The Why Does the IRS Have Guns Act Would:
- Prohibit the IRS from buying, receiving, or storing guns and ammo,
- Transfer all guns and ammo currently in the IRS’ possession to the General Services Administration,
- Auction off these guns and ammo to Federal Firearms License owners and devote proceeds to deficit reduction, and
- Relocate the IRS Criminal Investigation Division within the Justice Department.
Ernst is doing more than just talking. She’s proposed the ‘Why Does the IRS Have Guns Act.’ The act would prohibit the IRS from buying, receiving, or storing guns and ammo. It would also force the IRS to offload its existing arsenal.
But here’s the kicker. The act stipulates that all this weaponry should be auctioned off to Federal Firearms License owners. And the money raised? It’ll be used for deficit reduction. A classic two-birds-one-stone move.
Furthermore, Ernst wants to relocate the IRS Criminal Investigation Division. She wants it under the Justice Department, where traditional law enforcement belongs.
This move is a stand against wasteful spending and overreach. Ernst is making a clear point: the IRS is a tax agency, not a paramilitary organization. The time has come to ask ourselves, why does the IRS need guns?
And, Ernst isn’t just demanding answers, she’s making moves and leading the charge for change – it’s high time someone stepped up to the plate.