Philology is the study of oral and written language. A practitioner of this peculiar art is called a philologist. Philologists define writing as having three discrete components. First, there has to be some purpose or meaning. It can’t simply be random. It’s little more than a wink and a nod from there to Jackson Pollock.
Second, writing systems must make use of specific symbols which are recorded on some durable medium. The most profound oratory sans documentation is but vapor.
Lastly, the symbols used in writing must generally correspond to elements of spoken language. To use a Biblical analogy, speaking in tongues in the absence of reliable interpretation is little more than gibberish. The next thing you know, some unwashed lunatic is spooning with venomous snakes.
The Art
I support myself as a writer. It has taken me a lifetime to get here. Trust me, that’s a sweet hustle. Writing is one of the few professions wherein you can make a living wearing nothing more than your underpants without going to jail or contracting some dreaded social disease.
I take my art seriously. Well, at least somewhat seriously. I’m certainly not beyond making a joke about field stripping a 1911 pistol and having the recoil spring plunger fly off to Uranus. For the most part, however, I am indeed fairly meticulous with my diction.
Expressions
One of my favorite t-shirts reads:
- “Let’s Eat Grandma.”
- “Let’s Eat, Grandma.”
- Commas Save Lives.
That’s powerful stuff, punctuation. In this case, the humble comma stands as a bulwark against cannibalism. There are lots of examples.
“I have enjoyed cooking my family and my cat,” means something quite different from, “I have enjoyed cooking, my family, and my cat.”
A man eating chicken is something you might find at your local Chik-Fil-A. By contrast, a man-eating chicken is the stuff of nightmares.
So, why all this vapid talk of punctuation? Because sometimes a comma really does matter, like a lot. Sometimes it can be the very thing that causes a great republic to stand or fall.
Words Have Power
We should all be able to quote it. The 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution says:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Note the three commas. Esoterically, that seems quite the awkward construction, only it’s not. Taken in context, the meaning of that sentence becomes crystal clear. It has simply been obfuscated over time.
The U.S. Constitution was a collaborative effort. Alexander Hamilton advocated for a strong central government.
James Madison is often referred to as the “Father of the Constitution,” given the outsized role he had in its development. It was actually a gentleman named Gouveneur Morris who finally put pen to parchment. These visionaries knew exactly what they were saying. They just didn’t anticipate that we might someday become such shortsighted idiots.
These guys had just waged an eight-year bloody existential war for survival against an autocratic despot. Despite being lyrically outgunned, they prevailed via little more than raw unfiltered grit.
The memories of those dark times were fresh on their minds as they signed their names to the final document. Here’s what those hallowed words actually mean in historical context:
Necessary Evils
Sovereign nations maintain standing armies. That’s a necessary evil, because standing armies so oft begat tyranny. Tyranny is the bane of all free men. As a hedge against said tyranny, there must be no limits placed upon the people’s access to privately-owned weapons.
The sentence’s true meaning orbits around those commas. Now read it again. This time, drink in the words not as a Constitutional law scholar with contemporary biases and a penchant for clauses both prefatory and operative, but rather as one who has just narrowly avoided defeat at the hands of a massive standing army. Use that critical middle comma to separate the two thoughts:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free state…the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The well-regulated militia was a regrettable necessity. Ensuring that private American citizens could avail themselves of state-of-the-art military hardware was protection against that militia. These brilliant men knew that, so they enshrined it in the Constitution right behind the freedoms of speech, religion, and the press.
Deep Magic
It’s so obvious. The simple, beautiful truth of those words is right before our eyes, yet so many of our countrymen cannot or will not see it.
The 2nd Amendment never was about hunting or the National Guard, not even remotely. It was always about privately-owned MP5’s, armored vehicles parked in your driveway, and short-barreled shotguns you build at home. In short, it was about pure, unfettered freedom.
Freedom on that scale is invariably messy. I’ll grant you that. However, this freedom was precisely what brought us the microchip, the light bulb, the airplane, nuclear weapons, Martin Luther King Jr., and silicone breast implants.
It was uniquely-American freedom that spanked the Nazis and transformed Japan from a mortal enemy into an enduring friend. However, that can all be lost in a generation. All it takes is to fail to appreciate the power of the humble comma.