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Blessed with some of the worst luck COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Karma can be a bitch! Paint me surprised by this Some Scary thoughts Well I thought it was funny! You have to be kidding, right!?!

It would interesting to find out what Old Walter did to deserve this!

Walter Summerford

The Electrified Man

This is Walter Summerford. This poor schmuck got struck by lightning four times, once after he was already dead.

It’s an old wives’ tale that lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place. Lightning is completely random. In the US alone, there are an average of 40 million lightning strikes per year. The odds of being hit by lightning in America are about one in a million in a given year. However, those numbers are, curiously, not consistent around the globe.

In the UK, there are only around 300,000 lightning strikes per annum. The United Kingdom is markedly smaller than the US, but its weather is way crappier. As a result, the odds of getting struck over there are closer to 1-in-15,300.

Lightning is some seriously nasty stuff. It’s basically just a big honking spark. Electrostatic energy builds up in the atmosphere and can discharge either from cloud to cloud or from a cloud into the ground. A typical lightning bolt runs about 50,000 degrees F, or five times the temperature of the surface of the sun. They pack millions of joules of energy. That stuff is undeniably pretty to look upon. However, you really don’t want to get any of it on you.

Around the globe, there are roughly 6,000 lightning strikes each and every minute. Nearly a quarter million people are struck by lightning every year. Roughly ten percent of those are killed.

On a certain level, those seem like pretty decent odds. If only one in every million Americans gets struck by lightning every year and, of those, nine out of ten live to tell the tale, that doesn’t sound so bad.

Those are indeed reassuring numbers, unless you happen to be Walter Summerford. Walter Summerford has been described as the unluckiest man in the universe. He was struck by lightning four times. One of those strikes was actually after he was already dead.

Background

Walter Summerford served as a British officer in World War I. In 1918, Major Summerford was riding a horse through a Belgian field when he caught a bolt of lightning.

This massive electrical shock rendered the poor man paralyzed from the waist down. However, he gradually recovered. With the war over and his recovery nearly complete, Summerford was demobilized and sent to Vancouver for further rehabilitation.

Six years later, in 1924, Summerford was enjoying a little quiet time out fishing by a river. A storm came up, so the man took refuge underneath a nearby tree. A bolt of lightning struck the tree and tracked down his body and into the ground. The strike left Summerford almost completely paralyzed on his right side.

After two long years, Summerford finally regained the use of his legs. The man was an inveterate outdoorsman and loved wandering about the wilderness hiking, hunting, and fishing.

However, in 1930, whilst taking a stroll in a public park, he was struck by lightning a third time. This bolt rendered him completely paralyzed. It was also markedly worse than the previous two. Summerford was destined to spend the rest of his natural life in a hospital bed.

Summerford’s physicians were amazed the man had survived this third blow. He fought valiantly for another two years before finally succumbing to the cumulative effects of these three lightning strikes in 1932.

As to whether he enjoyed some kind of unique body chemistry or had somehow offended his Maker, no one will ever know. Regardless, it was undoubtedly the cumulative effect of these three lightning strikes that ultimately did Walter Summerford in.

Four years after he was buried in a public cemetery in Vancouver, Canada, Walther Summerford’s gravestone was itself struck by lightning and split into pieces.

I’m not much into conspiracy theories myself. However, it is tough not to believe that there was something supernatural and spooky going on with that unfortunate guy.

The truly curious bit was that Walther Summerford was struck every six years starting in 1918, just like clockwork. Even after he died, when his six years were up, that’s when lightning struck his tombstone. The cyclical nature of the thing strains credulity, but his tale is well-documented.

The brother of one of the soldiers with whom I served was actually struck three times. Once the poor guy was in the shower. I can only imagine what that might do to somebody’s emotional well-being, not to mention your perspective on general hygiene.

My colleague was from rural Texas. He said that every time it got a little bit stormy out, his brother would retreat to the living room away from the television and read a book. Who can blame him?

Walter Summerford got struck by lightning once after he was already dead. This is his shattered tombstone. Image: Public domain.

Ruminations

As kind of an amateur science guy myself, I always gravitated toward basic physics. I can get my head around the way things move. However, chemistry and electricity always kind of made me itch. I struggled to visualize these disciplines, so they held little fascination for me.

However, I have long appreciated that electricity is best appreciated at a distance. If Walter Summerford has taught me anything, it is that I’d really sooner not get struck by lightning.

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Please return LT’s Humvee. This is no longer funny. Stop. By Davis Winkie

FADE IN:

EXT. COF, 618TH ENGINEER SUPPORT COMPANY (AIRBORNE) – 1745 HOURS, FRIDAY NOV. 10

WE OPEN outside the company operations facility, late on Friday afternoon, after three days of searching for the company executive officer’s Humvee, which disappeared without a trace on Tuesday night. The disappearance derailed the company field exercise, and leaders are furious. The shot begins wide, capturing the entire company formation and the building’s facade, before it slowly pushes in closer on the man standing in front of the unit.

As we draw nearer to him, it becomes clear that the FIRST SERGEANT isn’t mad. He’s just (visibly) disappointed. And maybe a little afraid?

FIRST SERGEANT

Ok, 618th, on the command “fall out,” I want you to form a school circle around me, hooah? It’s been a long week, so let’s make this quick and enjoy the long weekend, hooah?

Scattered “hooahs” emanate from the beleaguered paratroopers.

FIRST SERGEANT

Fall out!

BEHIND THE FIRST SERGEANT

The soldiers quickly assemble around the FIRST SERGEANT. Noticeably absent is the COMPANY XO.

FIRST SERGEANT

Listen up, paratroopers. As we all know, someone stole Nasty 5′s Humvee while we were in the field earlier this week. The LT and the CO are currently in the brigade commander’s office.

FACING THE COF, SLIGHTLY ELEVATED TO SEE FIRST SERGEANT OVER THE SEA OF SHOULDERS

FIRST SERGEANT

It’s been a tough three days. We’ve combed damn near every training area on this post.

FIRST SERGEANT

If anyone in this company knows anything about where the LT’s Humvee is, please step forward now. Let’s end this here and now. I can offer amnesty — no harm, no foul, no negative consequences.

BEHIND FIRST SERGEANT, LOOKING OUT ON TROOPS

Nobody steps forward. A few junior enlisted soldiers exchange suspicious glances, but it’s not clear whether they plotted the theft or whether this is just how they act all the time. Really could be either.

CLOSE UP OF FIRST SERGEANT’S FACE

The FIRST SERGEANT pauses, grimaces and shakes his head as if he’s choking on the words that come next.

FIRST SERGEANT

Please.

Several seconds of silence follow. The specialists in the back continue exchanging suspicious glances, and now it’s certain that this is just the way they are. Or is it?

FACING THE COF

FIRST SERGEANT

I’m serious, please return the LT’s truck. If this is a prank, it is no longer funny. Hell, it stopped being funny two days ago. Return it now, and it can be funny again! Please, guys. Please.

The soldiers shift back-and-forth uncomfortably. They sense something bigger might be at play here. The FIRST SERGEANT, visibly nervous, checks his watch — the biggest, chunkiest, most stereotypical rubber impact-resistant watch ever seen on Fort Liberty.

FIRST SERGEANT

You don’t understand what’s going to happen if we don’t find this Humvee by 1800. Any soldier who is man enough to come forward now and admit stealing it — or to tell us who did it — will receive four-day special pass for next weekend as well.

Nobody moves or speaks up. A DISGRUNTLED SPECIALIST IN THE BACK groans audibly.

FIRST SERGEANT

We are running out of time to solve this problem ourselves. I cannot save us from anything that happens next — unless one of you comes forward. Please, guys. It’s Friday of a long weekend. Today was supposed to be a DONSA. My wife has called me six times in the last 30 minutes.

The FIRST SERGEANT’s elaborately shock-resistant, waterproof watch beeps.

CLOSE UP OF CHUNKY WATCH

The watch reads 18:00, because of course the FIRST SERGEANT’s watch is set to 24-hour time. A vehicle engine sounds in the background as a lifted pickup truck approaches.

FIRST SERGEANT

Please! Just give us the LT’s Humvee. If you come forward in the next 30 seconds, you’ll also get out of our next red cycle tasking.

FACING OUT FROM COF, STREET IN BACKGROUND

The doors of the lifted pick-up truck open, and five people get out. It’s not clear how they all fit inside. The BATTALION CSM, two CID AGENTS wearing marked civilian clothes, the COMPANY COMMANDER and the COMPANY XO (who looks like he hasn’t slept since Tuesday) emerge and walk toward the formation.

As the soldiers realize what is happening, they turn around to watch the group approach.

INTERCUT BTWN BATTALION CSM, FIRST SERGEANT, COMPANY COMMANDER and COMPANY XO

BATTALION CSM

First Sergeant, any luck?

The FIRST SERGEANT shakes his head to signal no. The BATTALION CSM appears a little too excited about what’s going to happen next. The COMPANY COMMANDER sports a 1,000-yard stare. The COMPANY XO — wait, is the XO crying?

TRACKING SHOT follows the BATTALION CSM, who is flanked by the CID agents, as they walk to the front of the gaggle formation. (DW note: Not sure if the Imperial March is appropriate for this scene or not, remember to discuss with director.) Camera settles back in FACING THE COF once finished tracking.

BATTALION CSM

How we doing, Nasty Company? You had your chance to do this the easy way. Here’s what is going to happen now.

The BATTALION CSM gestures toward the two CID AGENTS. He pulls out a stack of papers — rights waivers, required for witness and subject interviews. One of the agents appears to mouth the word “sorry” as he stares intently at his feet.

BATTALION CSM

These two gentlemen are going to interview every single soldier in this goddamn company. Yes, you have a right not to speak to them. I don’t care. Every one of you will either sit with them in the COF or sign the sheet saying you refused to speak without a lawyer present. The good news is that Trial Defense Services is able to help those soldiers. The bad news for all of them is that TDS is out of the office until Tuesday, and you are under orders not to leave this company footprint until you and your lawyer complete an interview, hooah.

Absolutely nobody echoes the hooah. The COMPANY COMMANDER slinks into the COF. He probably was going to stay there all weekend sending emails anyways.

BATTALION CSM

But don’t any of you think that doing a one-and-done interview will get you out of this either. Every day this weekend, from 0600 to 1900, the XO will be leading the entire company in a “Hands Across America” police line through the Mott Lake training area — including the water. You will either find this Humvee or drown trying.

QUICK CUT to the COMPANY XOwho is sitting on the ground behind the formation hugging his knees and rocking back and forth, shaking with each successive sob. The crying grows gradually louder even after the camera cuts back to the BATTALION CSM.

BATTALION CSM

OK team, that’s all I have. I’ll be with you this weekend because I don’t like my family anyways. You have 30 minutes for chow; someone bring me a Popeye’s chicken sandwich from the Butner Road shopette. Stay Nasty!

Soldiers scatter and begin calling their families to relay the bad news.

FADE OUT

Observation Post is the Military Times one-stop shop for all things off-duty. Stories may reflect author observations.

Davis Winkie covers the Army for Military Times. He studied history at Vanderbilt and UNC-Chapel Hill, and served five years in the Army Guard. His investigations earned the Society of Professional Journalists’ 2023 Sunshine Award and consecutive Military Reporters and Editors honors, among others. Davis was also a 2022 Livingston Awards finalist.

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