Hint – Just go to Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles to see what the late Roman Empire was like! Grumpy
Category: California
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What the Hell Happened to California?
Look out for Dr. Strange over here 😂 pic.twitter.com/6uiy8IDzJc
— The Cybertruck Guy (@cybrtrkguy) February 4, 2024
We are so fucked out here! Grumpy
In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with prior preparation, California Governor Gavin Newsom has unveiled detailed, fully realized plans to rebuild Los Angeles following the devastating fires that, by sheer coincidence, wiped out the exact neighborhoods marked for redevelopment by the WEF.
“These fires were an unforeseen tragedy,” Newsom said during a press conference held on the ashes of a once-thriving community. “But in the spirit of California resilience, we have immediately mobilized a plan for a greener, shinier Los Angeles.”
The 3,000-page blueprint, complete with architectural renderings, zoning adjustments, and the signature of a mysterious consultant named “I.M. Fireproof,” envisions a utopia of luxury high-rises, eco-friendly tech hubs, and artisanal oat milk cafes. “We certainly didn’t expect to have this ready so soon,” Newsom said, flipping through the bound and laminated plans.
Critics have questioned the timing of the fires, which exclusively targeted older homes and small businesses while sparing nearby high-value properties. However, Newsom dismissed these concerns. “We can’t let conspiracy theories distract us from progress. California is about moving forward, even if we have to use controlled burns—I mean, nature’s burns—to get there.”
The new redevelopment zone, which had been stalled for years by “pesky renters” and “sentimental landmarks,” now offers a clean slate. Newsom assured residents that the original homeowners would be “welcome back anytime,” provided they can afford the $3.5 million penthouses or secure one of the five subsidized micro-units that will be raffled off annually.
When asked why the development plans were dated two months prior to the fires, Newsom laughed nervously. “That’s a typo. Don’t worry about it. Focus on the renderings—they’ve got rooftop gardens!”
The governor concluded the event by planting a symbolic sapling and announcing a new task force to study fire prevention strategies—tentatively titled the “Let’s Not Question the Coincidences Committee.”
This is another one of those stories from It starts with an X post from Briana Cap:
Literally crying in the Target parking lot right now. 🧵
I was struggling with unloading my toddler, my bags and wrangling an unruly cart (seriously — why do some lack power-steering?) A fire truck from Redondo Beach (E61) had just parked nearby and four firefighters got out.
The firefighters offered to help. She refused, saying the firefighters in the L.A. area had already been doing so much. They wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Normally I would have refused help, but this week? This week firefighters get a pass.
You want to help me with my bags? Absolutely, my car’s over there.
Want lunch? It’s on me.
Need a Gatorade? What flavor?
They like kids too. They made a point of paying attention to the toddler.
[T]his kind stranger offered my toddler a fist bump, which she happily accepted. The contrast of her cherubic, dimpled, unblemished little hand against his scratched, dirty and well-worn fist was striking. …
Those hands have boldly and unflinchingly walked into literal fire this week. But today, in the Target parking lot, when they could have easily just gone about their business, those hands were a beautiful display of how selfless, kind and generous these firefighters are.
Yeah. Thanks for that ray of light, Briana and Charlie. And thanks very much to the people who try their best to put out these disastrous fires! Much appreciated.
I heard squat about thos last election about her Honor. I wonder who told old GB about this little tidbit?
Frankly I just don’t care who you f*ck (Children & Animals excepted) as long as you can get the job done. Grumpy