Category: All About Guns
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Giggle!
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A Pair of 1903 Colt
The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors is moving forward this week with plans to enact various gun control measures that will chill the 2A rights of law-abiding gun owners and place an undue burden on responsible gun dealers.
Among the ordinances included in the motion authored by Supervisor Janice Hahn are:
- A ban on the sale of .50 caliber handguns and .50 caliber ammunition
- The creation of “buffer zones” between gun stores and “sensitive areas” (schools, daycares, parks, etc.)
- To make all Los Angeles County property a gun-free zone
- Require gun stores to keep a fingerprint log, submit sales reports and inventory reports in real-time to the county board, install security cameras, limit minors’ access and provide gun owners with information about the local laws.
- Deny sales to individuals on the federal government’s no-fly list
“When I was in Congress, we responded to horrific mass shootings with little more than moments of silence and thoughts and prayers,” said Supervisor Hahn in a press release.
“I will not sit idly by when there is action that we can take to save lives,” she continued. “These gun violence prevention measures are commonsense and are under our authority at the County level to implement.”
Attorneys will be drafting up the details for each ordinance over the next three months. Once finished, the completed drafts will come before the board for a final vote.
Hahn told Fox11LA that these “common sense gun regulations” are “just one piece of the puzzle.”
“If we move forward with implementing these “four common-sense gun regulations”, I hope others in our county will follow suit,” Hahn said.
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Fun with a Ruger 10/22 M1 Carbine
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Colt 4th Model Derringers
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“Seriously, have you seen them shoot?”
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WASHINGTON — In a stunning precedent-breaking case, the Supreme Court has overturned the militia clause of the 2nd Amendment, citing poor National Guard weapons skills.
“For over 200 years, the right to ‘keep and bear arms as part of a well-ordered militia’ has stood in the 2nd amendment,” said Chief Justice John G. Roberts in a rare 9-0 opinion.
“This court debated if that clause limits gun ownership to just members of the militia, or the National Guard as it’s now called, or if all Americans have the right to keep and bear arms. Given recent information, this court sees that the framers were exactly wrong. This court ruled that literally, anyone but the militia should have the right to firearms because seriously, have you seen them shoot?”
Roberts added that if he wanted to see a shot group like that, he’d throw rice at a sticky rat trap.
The recent information that Roberts alluded to was a training after-action report he noticed on the computer of 1st Lt. Anthony Chin, an executive officer in the Maryland National Guard’s 220th Military Police Company and clerk to Justice Roberts after a recent drill weekend.
“This was a huge misstep,” said Gen. Daniel Hokanson, chief of the National Guard Bureau. “Chin hadn’t changed the report to list everyone who didn’t qualify at the range as being at dental yet. On the bright side, that’s one less metric we’re red on.”
The decision, which urged amending the Constitution to say “the right to keep and bear arms as part of anyone but a well-ordered militia, Jesus fuck, learn to shoot boys,” may not be constitutional or grammatically correct according to legal experts. When questioned at a recent press conference, Justice Roberts stated that Congress would have to pass a law to change if they had a problem with it.
“Come and get us,” Roberts yelled from across the street to the Capitol Building. “What are you going to do, call out the D.C. National Guard again to stop us from coming over there? We’re not worried about that.”
The National Rifle Association issued a statement that disagreed with and praised the decision.
“While we disagree in the strongest terms that there should be any modification of the 2nd amendment, the Supreme Court’s decision, in this case, is a prudent action to preserve the reputation of gun ownership as an important tool to protect our loved ones and property.” The statement ended by saying that “guns don’t kill people; National Guardsmen with guns don’t kill people either.”
Chin, for his part, has apologized for the lapse.
“I was so busy at the range I got distracted,” he said. “I had one of our 46-year-old specialists wandering around looking for the foxholes because the last time he went to the range, we still had foxholes. I had three guys sharing one pair of eyeglasses since they don’t have health insurance. And then one private who just got back from basic training zeroed his weapon, and we had to cycle everyone through on it since it was the only one that was zeroed. Then we had to clear the range to get a mandatory transgender Inuit sexual harassment and mental health briefing. And then we ran out of ammunition because it was the end of the training quarter. It was the worst day of my National Guard career….so far.”
The decision to end militia access to weapons was immediately unpopular with the nation’s National Guard staff sergeants who were marksmanship instructors while on active duty.
Though none of the current Supreme Court justices served in the military, sources close to Duffel Blog report that Justice Roberts is a hawkeye who shoots left-handed, Associate Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh is a first-time go on the M-9 range, and Associate Justices Clarence Thomas and Amy Comey Barrett hold the SCOTUS marksmanship record as a .50 caliber firing team, beating the previous record held by David H. Souter and Sandra Day O’Conner. Recently retired Associate Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, a known former member of the California National Guard, was given special dispensation for a personal firearm.
Blondes Over Baghdad lets someone else take the top block because it’s the selfless service thing to do. She’ll go to Ranger School when there’s a 3-beer policy. Follow her on Twitter at @BlondsOvrBaghd