Category: A Victory!
Memphis man arrested after discovering pit bull security system comes standard with free grill
H/T Wynn
MEMPHIS, TN — A Memphis man learned the hard way this week that not every backyard appliance is part of the city’s unofficial “take what you can carry” rewards program.
Police say 41-year-old Leonard “Lil Riblet” Barksdale allegedly hopped a privacy fence in Southeast Memphis around 2:13 AM after spotting what he reportedly described as:
“a lightly supervised gas grill.”
According to neighbors, Lil Riblet moved through the backyard “with the confidence of a man who’s never once considered consequences.”
That confidence lasted approximately four seconds.
Because waiting in the yard was Memphiszilla…
a pit bull described by witnesses as:
“Built like a refrigerator with childhood trauma.”
Authorities say the dog immediately activated what experts are now calling:
“The Find Out Phase.”
Neighbors reported hearing screaming so intense one woman thought somebody was auditioning for a gospel solo three streets over.
One resident said:
“That man hit notes that could remove wallpaper.”
Police say Lil Riblet attempted multiple escape strategies, including:
• Climbing a trampoline
• Throwing a lawn chair as a peace offering
• Yelling “BAD DOG” in a voice cracking like a middle school clarinet
• And at one point allegedly trying to negotiate:
“Bro please… I don’t even need the grill anymore.”
But Memphiszilla was reportedly unmoved.
Investigators say the suspect eventually climbed onto a patio table and called 911 HIMSELF while the dog circled below like a furry tax collector.
Dispatchers reportedly struggled to understand him because he was simultaneously crying, wheezing, and screaming:
“HE GOT MY SLIDES!”
When officers arrived, they found Lil Riblet apologizing directly to Jesus.
The homeowner later announced Memphiszilla would receive:
Two T-bone steaks
Full neighborhood hero status
Unlimited backyard patrol privileges
And possibly a commemorative plaque near the smoker
Online, Memphis residents immediately renamed the dog:
“The Grill Reaper.”
Moral of the story:
In Memphis, you might steal somebody’s grill…
…but sometimes the grill comes with teeth.
Yeah fuck that 2nd Amendment shit! Jeez Grumpy
In a bold and unprecedented move, Harmeet Dhillon, Assistant Attorney General for the Civil Rights Division, sent Governor Gavin Newsom and Attorney General Rob Bonta a formal notice of suit to drop the Glock ban or get sued.
She gave the state until 5 p.m. EST on June 30 to say whether they will negotiate. If California does not respond, the United States may file its complaint without further notice. Excellent news.
The Second Amendment continues to rack up victories in the courts. From the Supreme Court’s landmark rulings in Hemani and Wolford to a federal judge blocking enforcement of Virginia’s unconstitutional “assault weapon” ban while the case proceeds, the momentum is clearly on the side of constitutional rights.
Yeah that’s right Colt! Take one of the best wheel guns ever made and make it look ugly. Geez! Grumpy
