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The Meriden Arms; From the Verdant Forests to Siberia

What do Saturday Night Specials, side by side shotguns, and Mosin Nagant M1891 rifles all have in common?

If you have a moment to read, here is an interesting tale; these were all manufactured by the Meriden Firearms Company, of Meriden, Connecticut. In a brief but meteoric lifespan that lasted a mere dozen years, the Meriden Firearms company turned out an impressive array of inexpensive, but serviceable, and, in some cases, now, even collectible firearms.

The Meriden Fire Arms Co. was a subsidiary of Sears, Roebuck & Co., actually manufacturing guns for sale exclusively by the parent company. They also imported guns from Germany and Belgium under their name. Meriden Arms Co. was formed after Sears bought the Andrew Fryberg Arms Co. (Fryberg was closely linked to Iver Johnson, long-time manufacturers of pocket pistols.) Meriden plied their trade, turning out .32 and .38 cal. revolvers with various trade names on them.

Selling for a whopping $3.10, or $4.25 fully engraved (!) these were utilitarian, but hardly heirloom quality pistols.  Unless, perhaps, you were willing to spring the extra $1.25 for “Finely fitted pearl grips.” Clearly occupying the workman end of the economic scale, Meriden also turned out serviceable shotguns and .22 rifles of various types.

Then came the War To End All Wars. With Russia hard pressed by the First World War, but desperately needing weapons, and her allies stretched too thin to offer much in the way of assistance, the beleaguered Russian government turned to the British.  They, also hard-pressed, turned to American industrial capability, for assistance in meeting their manufacturing needs. With British agents acting as shadowy intermediaries, a deal was struck for three quarter of a million US made Mosin Nagant M1891 Three Line rifles.

Their share of this order far eclipsed Meriden firearms company’s production abilities.  Apparently, manufacturing $4.00 revolvers was an order of magnitude less challenging than making a half million battle rifles, and in 1916, they were subsumed under the New England Westinghouse name.

Before all of the rifles could be delivered to Russia, that government fell, and the new Bolshevik government defaulted on the contracts with the United States manufacturers.

This meant that Remington and Westinghouse were left with several hundred thousand rifles in their unsold inventory.

To spare the companies from bankruptcy, the United States government then bought all of the remaining stocks of rifles.  Some of the remaining rifles had already been shipped all the way to Great Britain and those were used to arm the US and British expeditionary forces that were sent to Russia in 1918 and 1919. Some of these must have had fascinating histories, as rifles from this issuance occasionally  show up with arsenal marks of multiple nations stamped on them, from numerous battles and wars, won and lost.

The rifles that remained in the US were used for training in the Army and also used to arm some National Guard, and ROTC units.

Commanding well in excess of $700.00, today one of these American manufactured rifles can be considered among the elite of the Mosin Nagant line.

Meriden Fire Arms continued to produce some firearms in another facility on Center Street in Meriden until 1918 when Sears announced that the Meriden Fire Arms Company would discontinue the manufacture of sporting guns.

From the verdant forests of New England, to dry goods stores across America, to the snows of Siberia, Meriden Firearms carved a unique niche in the history of American arms.

Meriden Arms; From the Verdant Forests to Siberia
Meriden Arms; From the Verdant Forests to Siberia
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Veterans advise hurricane relief recipients on Rat-Fucking MREs

“People may have been evacuated by soldiers, but they don’t have to eat like them.”

TAMPA, Fla. — As part of relief efforts for Hurricane Milton, a group of veterans is helping survivors with emergency meals by teaching them some time-honored, little-known, and somewhat controversial meal modification skills from the military.

The “Rat-Fuck Rations” group, or RFR, organized by former Army Spc. Greg Downey teaches residents the bespoke skill of rifling through crates of Meals, Ready to Eat (or MREs) to seize the most coveted menu items without getting caught. Observers agree it’s a set of skills that local, state, and federal emergency responders can’t provide and probably never projected to need.

Military members know that MREs consist of menu items ranging from the revolting to the relatively palatable. Usually, a soldier eats whatever meal a soldier gets. Rummaging through MRE packets in search of the best menus or items is regarded as a selfish act. But Downey said those rules don’t apply to civilians. “People may have been evacuated by soldiers, but they don’t have to eat like them,” he said.

“Doesn’t it just break your heart to imagine the hurricane survivors reaching into a crate of MREs for a nourishing meal,” Downey said, “and pulling out the Veggie Omelet?” The thought of it led Downey to form RFR.

Downey acknowledged that veterans usually volunteer their medical, communications, search-and-rescue, or other life-saving skills in times of disaster. But, he said, conjuring up a halfway decent meal with ingredients most Americans would find terrible is the only useful service-related skill for many veterans.

“We can still offer what I like to call quality of life-saving skills,” he said.

Under Downey’s supervision, RFR is teaching everything from basic rat-fucking or being first at the crate to rifle for the Chili Macs to advanced techniques like cutting open the packages quickly and snagging select menu pouches without slicing your own fingers.

“With our classes,” said Downey, “any eater can walk away with their pockets stuffed with jalapeño cheese spread and leave everyone else none the wiser.”

Sarah Schultz, director of local FEMA relief coordination, appreciates the RFR for enthusiasm.

“The people we help are grateful for any meal, so not sure why you military guys make a big deal of MRE selections,” she said. “We told Downey he could stay, and he broke down two pallets of MREs way faster than anybody. So that was cool,” Schultz added.

Despite the negative military connotations, Downey maintains that rat fucking goes back to the Army’s old “C-Rations” and has contributed to evacuations all the way back to Vietnam.

“Consider how we’re passing on military traditions,” he said, “if there are vegetarian civilians who actually want the Veggie Omelette MRE, everybody wins.”

However, RFR has limited capacity with the veterans on hand. Downey is overcoming that hurdle by developing “train-the-rat fuck trainer” classes for FEMA and local response groups.

Schultz supports expanding the extra help.

“All my people are thoroughly exhausted,” she said. “As long as Downey and his guys keep breaking down pallets of MREs, they can teach whatever they want.”

Bull Winkle is also an amateur phrenologist and is available to make your next birthday, wedding, or international conflict-solving conference super fun.

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