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Have a Great Thanksgiving! NSFW

You Need to See These Hilarious Thanksgiving Memes

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Combat Handguns from a Navy SEAL’s Perspective

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Operation Canned Goods: The Spark That Lit the Fire by WILL DABBS

Arthur Naujocks was an old school Nazi.

Alfred Helmut Naujocks was a brawler. Born in 1911 in Kiel, Germany, Naujocks earned a degree in engineering and began an apprenticeship as a precision mechanic. Before completing this course, Alfred Naujocks sold his soul to the Devil and joined the SS.

This dashing lad was happy to send millions to the death camps but deigned to seek out much combat himself. He used thugs like Alfred Naujocks to do most of his dirty work.

A gifted amateur boxer, Naujocks established himself as the go-to guy when somebody needed to get their hands dirty. When the likes of Heinrich Himmler or Reinhard Heydrich needed somebody liquidated quietly, Naujocks frequently did the deed. By 1939 he was an accomplished covert special operator.

WW2 saw carnage on an unprecedented scale. It all started with a small false flag operation intended to pin the blame for alleged German territorial intrusions on the Poles.

Whatever moral compass Naujocks might once have possessed had by then been thoroughly disengaged. On the evening of August 31, 1939, Naujocks commanded a small group of SS operatives dressed in Polish Army uniforms as they crept noiselessly in the dark toward the Gleiwitz radio station. They carried Polish weapons and equipment and brought along several fresh corpses. With these basic tools, Naujocks and his men indirectly killed 75 million people. Alfred Naujocks was the guy who started World War 2.

Operation Canned Goods

This pathetic little man ultimately came to command both the SS and the Gestapo.

The formal appellation was Operation Himmler. This rather grandiose reference to the near-sighted failed chicken farmer-turned-alpha psychopath Heinrich Himmler was the overarching effort designed to turn international public opinion against the Poles and justify the German invasion of Poland. The informal title was Operation Konserve. “Konserve” supposedly translates literally to “Canned Goods.”

Oskar Schindler ended the war a hero. At its outset, however, he was a willing instrument of Nazi tyranny.

Naujocks’ mission was to make a convincing attack against the German radio station at Gleiwitz and then plant evidence tying the attack to Poland. Oskar Schindler, the German industrialist who personally saved some 1,200 Jews from the death camps, covertly obtained the Polish uniforms and weapons for the enterprise. Erwin von Lahousen of the Abwehr sourced fake Polish identification cards. The Gestapo took care of the meat.

The Gestapo killed Franz Honiok and then used his corpse to help justify the invasion of Poland that precipitated World War 2.

German Gestapo agents arrested and murdered a 43-year-old unmarried Silesian Catholic farmer named Franciszek Honiok via lethal injection. Honiok had been outspoken in his sympathy for the put-upon Poles, and these political views got him killed. These fun-loving Gestapo guys then squeezed Honiok’s cooling corpse into a set of pilfered Polish dungarees and shot him full of holes.

The Gestapo turned to the Dachau concentration camp when they needed a few handy corpses to help pull off their deception operation.

The Gestapo also harvested several concentration camp prisoners from Dachau and gave them the same treatment. All of these prisoners had their faces disfigured to prevent positive identification. The Germans referred to these freshly killed humans as “Canned Goods.” Hence the informal name of the operation.

The Gleiwitz tower remains standing today.

The 387-foot wooden tower that houses the Gleiwitz radio transmitter was and is the tallest wooden structure in Europe. Locals refer to the thing as the Silesian Eiffel Tower based upon its similarity to the larger iconic French counterpart. It remains standing today.

The attack on the Gleiwitz radio station was all part of a carefully choreographed plan to precipitate WW2.

Naujocks and Company attacked the radio station with their pre-prepared dead guys in tow. They shot up the place, intentionally shooting wide so as to minimize the possibility of injuring ethnic Germans nearby. They briefly seized the facility, broadcast an anti-German message the content of which has subsequently been lost, and then arrayed their sundry corpses around to make things look realistic.

There’s a reason this black-hearted turd is viewed as one of history’s alpha villains. He was a deranged amoral psychopath.

Hitler responded with the following statement: “I can no longer find any willingness on the part of the Polish Government to conduct serious negotiations with us. These proposals for mediation have failed because in the meanwhile there, first of all, came as an answer the sudden Polish general mobilization, followed by more Polish atrocities…I have, therefore, resolved to speak to Poland in the same language that Poland for months past has used toward us…This night for the first time Polish regular soldiers fired on our own territory. Since 5:45 a. m. we have been returning the fire…I will continue this struggle, no matter against whom, until the safety of the Reich and its rights are secured.”

Adolf Hitler was the master of the Big Lie.

In classic Hitler fashion, the Big Lie was exercised to justify his dark efforts at conquest and enslavement. Nobody much fell for it, but the fuse was irrevocably lit.

The Order of Battle

The Poles maintained an extensive military in 1939, but it was anchored in the past.

The Poles are cursed with some of the world’s most unfortunate geography. In the early thirties, they viewed the Soviets to the East as the primary threat to their national sovereignty. Only later did they come to see Hitler as the more serious adversary. By September of 1939, the Poles had amassed an impressive army of some thirty-nine divisions and sixteen separate brigades along with six hundred tactical aircraft.

The Poles’ obsolete combat aircraft were no match for state-of-the-art German planes like this Bf109E Messerschmitt.

On paper, these combat formations were indeed formidable. However, their aircraft were obsolete compared to the Messerschmitts, Junkers, and Heinkels of the Luftwaffe. Additionally, the Polish army was grounded in the tactics of the last war. Guderian’s blitzkrieg was to be a rude awakening indeed.

The wz.29 Rifle

After WW1 the Poles had plenty of weapons, but they were poorly standardized.

Following WW1 the Poles were armed with derelict and surplus arms left over by the various nations that had occupied the country during the Partition Era. This included thousands of Austrian Steyr-Mannlichers, Russian M91 Mosin-Nagants, and German G98s. There were also significant numbers of French surplus Lebels and Berthiers, Japanese Arisakas, and British-issue Short Magazine Lee-Enfields. In fact, as of 1922, the Polish Army issued 24 different rifle designs firing 22 different types of ammunition.

The wz.98 was a copy of the WW1-era German Gewehr 98 Infantry rifle.

In that same year, the Poles moved the machinery from the Danzig Arsenal to Radom and christened the Polish National Rifle Factory. For two years they produced the wz.98, a homegrown clone of the WW1-era German Mauser 98. In 1924 production was shifted to the improved 7.92x57mm wz.29.

The wz.29 represented the state of the art when it was introduced. A rugged and dependable design, the wz.29 compared favorably with the German rifles of the day.

The Polish wz.29 was a bolt-action design with a 90-degree bolt throw. The rifle locked via two main lugs at the bolt head along with a third safety lug at the rear. It had a 5-round internal box magazine that loaded via stripper clips from the top. The three-position rotating lever safety on the back of the bolt would be familiar to anyone who had ever run a German Mauser.

Note the curious stacking lug on the front of the stock.

Sights consisted of a protected front post along with a V-shaped rear notch mounted on an adjustable tangent. The rear sight was graduated in 100-meter increments out to 2,000 meters. Early versions also featured a stacking lug up front.

The Polish wz.29 was still a Mauser at its heart.

Infantry versions had a straight bolt handle. The Cavalry variant was turned-down with a corresponding cutout in the stock. Just over a quarter million copies were produced before the invasion in 1939. The wz.29 was absorbed into German stocks as the Gewehr 29/40.

The wz.35 Vis Pistol

The Polish wz.35 Vis was a thoroughly modern combat handgun.

Adopted in 1935, the 9mm Para wz.35 Vis was a single-action, recoil-operated, locked-breech design based loosely upon the M1911 and P35 Browning Hi-Power. On our side of the pond, most collectors refer to the Vis as the “Radom” after the plant where it was produced. “Vis” means “Force” in Latin.

What appears to be a superfluous thumb safety on the Vis is actually a takedown catch.

The Vis featured a 1911-style grip safety as well as an extra switch on the left aspect of the gun when compared to a 1911 or Hi-Power. The slide-mounted lever is a hammer-drop safety that lowers the hammer securely over a loaded chamber. The slide release and magazine catch have the expected function. The switch in the location of the 1911 thumb safety is actually a takedown lever. This catch is used to secure the slide in position for disassembly. Later versions omitted this device.

German Fallschirmjägers wielded an eclectic array of small arms.

The Vis feeds from an eight-round box magazine and is an exceptionally sweet pistol to run. The Germans continued production under occupation and ultimately produced around 360,000 copies. The gun was prized among German Fallschirmjagers.

The vast majority of Vis pistols available to American collectors were made under German occupation.

Polish workers at the Radom plant smuggled so many parts out of the factory to produce handguns for the Polish Underground that barrel production and final assembly were moved to Steyr in Austria. Regardless, the Polish Underground just began scratch-building their own barrels to fit the pilfered guns. The German designation was 9mm Pistole 645(p).

The Rest of the Story

Oskar Schindler was ultimately venerated by the Jewish state as a hero. This is Mount Zion in Jerusalem where he is buried.

Oskar Schindler had a profound change of heart and eventually expended his entire fortune paying bribes to save the lives of Jews working in his factories. Previously a wealthy man, he ended the war penniless. He died in 1974 in Hildesheim, Germany, at age 66. He was buried in Jerusalem on Mount Zion, the only former member of the Nazi Party to be so honored. In 1993 the Israeli government named Schindler and his wife Emilie Righteous Among Nations, an honorific used by the Jewish state to acclaim Gentiles who risked their lives protecting Jews during the Holocaust.

Reinhard Heydrich met his untimely demise at the hands of Czech partisans. He died miserably.

Reinhard Heydrich was grievously wounded during a grenade attack by Czech partisans in 1942 as part of Operation Anthropoid. This monster died badly of sepsis a week later. We have explored the details of that operation before. See below if you’re interested.

Heinrich Himmler took his own wretched life before the hangman got his chance.

Heinrich Himmler, the head of the SS, was captured by the Allies after the war while using false papers trying to escape. During an attempted medical exam he bit into a concealed cyanide capsule. He was buried in an unmarked grave, the location of which has subsequently been lost.

Alfred Naujocks, the man who started World War 2, lived for years in the shadows among his fellow former SS men.

Alfred Naujocks later disputed one of Reinhard Heydrich’s orders and was demoted before being transferred to the Eastern Front ostensibly to die in combat. He unexpectedly survived the war and surrendered to the Americans before being tried at Nuremberg as a war criminal. After the war, he escaped from custody and lived in hiding as part of the ODESSA network of former SS men. He eventually sold his autobiography to the media under the title, “The Man Who Started the War.” In 1966 Alfred Naujocks died of a heart attack in Hamburg at age 54.

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Now that is what I call a tricked out FN 5X7

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Gary Plauche: The Raw Reality of Revenge by WILL DABBS

What possessed the brain damaged art director for this cheesy 1980’s action movie to affix Arnold Schwarzenegger’s grenades to his web gear by their pins? Methinks these guys have likely never handled live grenades. Wow.

“Somewhere, somehow, somebody’s going to pay,” was the tagline for the 1985 Schwarzenegger action movie Commando. This classic stylized bloodbath orbited around a retired special operator named John Matrix whose daughter is kidnapped. The archetypal evil mastermind takes the little girl in an effort at motivating Schwarzenegger’s super-soldier character to overthrow a small island nation-state on his behalf. The central theme, should you wish to think this deeply about it, explores the limits to which a devoted father might go to protect his child.

This was one of my favorite scenes from the movie. A dumpy Vernon Wells accuses the utterly shredded John Matrix of getting too old to fight. Incidentally, Wells also played the lunatic villain Wez in the Australian post-apocalyptic classic The Road Warrior.

According to www.moviebodycounts.com, for his era, Arnold Schwarzenegger was Hollywood’s deadliest actor as determined by total on-screen kill count. Commando was his bloodiest movie by the same metric. His record has since been eclipsed by more modern fare, but he was the unchallenged 1980’s king of gory vengeance. As an aside, one scene that was proposed but later cut had Schwarzenegger chopping a henchman’s arm off with a machete and then beating him to death with it. His dialogue was to have been, “Thanks for lending me a hand.” Sheesh…

The M202 FLASH launcher fired 66mm incendiary rockets and was intended to replace WW2-era flamethrowers. FLASH stood for FLame Assault SHoulder. It must have been a slow day in the US Army’s overworked acronym generation office.

John Matrix logged seventy-four kills in Commando. Among them fifty-one people were shot, seven were blown up by emplaced explosives, and five others succumbed to hand grenades. Another five met their gory demise thanks to an M202 rocket launcher.

A 13-year-old Alyssa Milano catches a ride aboard her perambulating battleship of a movie dad.
Alyssa Milano has come a long way since her big-screen debut as a helpless teenaged girl in the Schwarzenegger kill-fest Commando.

Two faceless disposable bad guys got cut into pieces by thrown circular saw blades, one person was stabbed to death, and one particularly unfortunate rascal was impaled on a hissing steam pipe. As an aside, Schwarzenegger’s youthful daughter Jenny was none other than 13-year-old Alyssa Milano, the modern face of the Me Too movement.

How would you like to wake up to this every day before class? It worked for me while I was in college.

Commando was actually a pretty silly movie. The guns were cool, but the dialogue seemed like it was penned by a Third Grader, and the acting simply reeked of cheese. I’m nonetheless not too proud to admit that I had a life-size movie poster from the film plastered on my dorm room wall back when I was a college student. However, a year before Commando hit the big screen, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, saw a very public example of just how far one real guy might actually go to avenge a crime committed against his child. That guy’s name was Gary Plauche.

The Setting

By all accounts, Gary Plauche was just a normal dude. He coached little league and supported his community.

Leon Gary Plauche was born on November 10, 1945, in Baton Rouge. He served in the US Air Force and attained the rank of Staff Sergeant. After leaving the military he became a heavy equipment salesman and also worked as a cameraman for a local TV station. Though he had a temper, he was known for his affable demeanor and quick jokes. Plauche fathered four children—three boys and a girl. Gary was separated from his wife June in the early 1980s. This was predictably hard on his kids.

In case you were wondering exactly what a real monster looks like, this is it.

In 1983 Gary’s 11-year-old son Jody began taking Hapkido lessons from a 25-year-old ex-Marine named Jeffrey Doucet. Jeff Doucet had humble beginnings. He dropped out of school in Ninth Grade and, as a child, lost a sister to a rattlesnake bite. The discipline and exercise intrinsic to the martial arts seemed good for Jody. Doucet took the kid under his wing and cultivated a bond that appeared to be therapeutic given the circumstances. Doucet was a regular visitor at the Plauche home and frequently gave Jody a ride to the dojo for training.

Jeff Doucet abducted this young man when he was 11. Doucet was later suspected of molesting numerous other local children as well.

Authorities later determined that Jeffrey Doucet had been molesting the young man for more than a year. In February of 1984, Doucet kidnapped Jody and took him to a motel in Anaheim, California, near Disneyland where he sexually assaulted the kid repeatedly. Meanwhile, the authorities scoured the country looking for them both.

Yeah, that’s creepy. Jeffrey Doucet was a master manipulator.

Doucet eventually allowed Jody to make a collect call to his mother. The cops traced the call to the motel and staged a raid. Law Enforcement officers hit the hotel room, rescued the child, and took Doucet into custody without incident.

When faced with an unimaginably horrible circumstance Gary Plauche didn’t really know where to turn.

Jody was returned home on March 1, 1984. Once he was safe the details of the protracted abuse came to light. Gary, who was 39 at the time, was interviewed by a news crew in a ghoulish effort at ascertaining his feelings on the situation. He told the interviewer that he did not know what to do and just felt helpless.

The Setting

It took a little planning to pull off Gary Plauche’s hit. The event in all its gory detail was captured by a local TV news crew.

Two weeks after Jody returned to Louisiana, Jeffrey Doucet was extradited from California to Louisiana to stand trial for child molestation and sexual assault. Doucet’s Flight 595 out of Dallas landed at Ryan Field in Baton Rouge, and Doucet was led through the terminal in handcuffs. Meanwhile, wearing a baseball cap and dark glasses, the aggrieved father Gary Plauche stood nearby at a bank of pay phones speaking with his best friend. He cryptically whispered into the phone, “Here he comes. You’re about to hear a shot.”

Local TV news crews captured Jeffrey Doucet as he returned to Baton Rouge to face justice for pedophilia.

In the immediate aftermath of what was to come it was assumed that local Law Enforcement officers had tipped Plauche off regarding the timing and location of the transfer. Plauche enjoyed friendships with many of the local cops, so this was not an unreasonable assumption. It was later determined, however, that a former co-worker from the local ABC television affiliate WBRZ-TV was Plauche’s source of intel. Then as now tragedy sells, so the media slathered the sordid story with attention.

Though he did not realize it, Jeffrey Doucet was mere moments away from some serious frontier justice.

This bit is all pretty unsettling when you think about it. Humans in the Information Age are drawn to calamity like politicians to other peoples’ money. Throughout this whole ghastly episode, TV crews hounded the major players in search of that Pulitzer-grade image that might graphically capture one man’s anguish in the face of something so epically horrible. At 9:30 pm with the manacled child molester Jeffrey Doucet passing just behind him, Gary Plauche gave the world those images.

The Killing

Sheriff’s Deputy Major Mike Barnett took Plauche down immediately.

Plauche retrieved a small revolver of unknown make from his boot, stepped alongside Doucet, placed the gun to the right side of his head, and fired a single .38-caliber hollowpoint round. The cops subdued him immediately. Plauche’s friend Deputy Sheriff Mike Barnett can be heard on the tape asking him, “Gary, why? Why, Gary?”

Plauche tearfully answered, “If somebody did it to your kid, you’d do it, too!”

The Aftermath

I don’t myself care much for Michael Moore’s work.

The sex criminal Jeffrey Doucet fell into a coma and died in hospital the following day. Video footage of the horrific scene has taken on a life of its own. Michael Moore used it in his anti-gun documentary screed Bowling for Columbine. The clip also featured prominently in an unsettling compilation of real-life video killings titled Traces of Death 2 released in 1994. It was viewed more than 20 million times on YouTube prior to its removal.

This is still America, so Gary Plauche’s tragedy naturally graced a t-shirt.

Gary Plauche was charged with murder in the second degree but subsequently pled no contest to manslaughter. He was given a seven-year suspended sentence along with five years’ probation and 300 hours of community service. He completed all of this in 1989.

The public was naturally mesmerized by this whole horrid tale.

Opinions were mixed on the outcome of the Plauche case. Some felt that shooting a man in the head in cold blood in an airport warranted more than probation and community service. Others believed that the circumstances surrounding the crimes committed against his child absolved him of responsibility. Plauche’s defense team made a compelling argument that Doucet was a charismatic manipulative predator who had used Plauche’s family challenges to take advantage of his son.

Gary Plauche had no criminal record prior to his gunning down a child molester in the Baton Rouge airport.

Psychological assessments alleged that Plauche was so traumatized by these events that he was unable to discern the difference between right and wrong at the time of the killing. Any parent can imagine the unfettered anguish this might precipitate. The judge in the case, Frank Saia, ultimately agreed and opined that Plauche represented no risk of further criminal behavior. He felt that sending Plauche to prison would serve no material purpose for the state.

This guy was just a freaking sociopath.

It was later revealed that Doucet and Plauche’s wife June were having an affair at the time. This revelation just served to muddy the waters further. However, forensics determined that Doucet’s assault on Jody occurred just as had been alleged.

Jody Plauche has since parlayed his horrible experience into an effort at helping others similarly traumatized. Good for him.

In 2019 Jody Plauche released a book titled, Why, Gary, Why? The Jody Plauche Story. The book was described thusly, “Through his own incredible story of using his past for good by helping others, he shares how any reader who has suffered great trauma can move on and not let the past define him or her.”

Jody went on to letter in four sports before finishing high school.

I’ve not read it myself, so I can’t comment on its contents. However, the excerpts I have found do yield insight into Jody’s subsequent attitudes about the shooting.

This horrible episode inevitably brought the Plauche family a great deal of attention. Here Jody and Gary are shown alongside Geraldo Rivera.

He wrote, “I think for a lot of people who have not been satisfied by the American justice system my dad stands as a symbol of justice…My dad did what everybody says what they would do…Plus, he didn’t go to jail. That said, I cannot…condone his behavior. I understand why he did what he did. But it is more important for a parent to be there to help support their child than put themselves in a place to be prosecuted.”

Here is Gary later in life attending a Saints game. He lived out the rest of his days in relative normalcy.

In his final interview prior to his death, Gary Plauche showed no regret for killing Jeffrey Doucet and stated that he would do it again if given the opportunity. In 2011 Plauche had a stroke as a complication of diabetes and was placed in a nursing home. He died in 2014 at the age of 68.

Though Jody was angered by the killing in its immediate aftermath, he subsequently understood and appreciated his father’s motivations. Interestingly, he later said his dad’s implicit willingness to kill anyone who harmed his family was an impediment to his coming forward to report Doucet’s abuse.

Of his father, Jody wrote, “A lot of people remember the guy who shot somebody. I remember someone who would pick up stray animals…someone who was just a kind soul, a gentle person.”

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Happy Thanksgiving – N.S.F.W.






 
 

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What happens when Rudolph meets a Winchester Model 71 in 348 & somebody who is handy with a rifle!

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Dirty Harry at 50

Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry.(Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images)
We will not see his like anytime soon.

 Down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. The detective in this kind of story must be such a man. He is the hero; he is everything. He must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man. He must be, to use a rather weathered phrase, a man of honor — by instinct, by inevitability, without the thought of it, and certainly without saying it.

So wrote Raymond Chandler in a 1944 Atlantic Monthly essay, “The Simple Art of Murder,” in which he defended the fiction genre he had come to master, the detective story. Chandler died in 1959, eleven years before the first screen appearance of the detective he surely would have admired and who almost precisely fit this description: Inspector Harry Callahan of the San Francisco Police Department, better known as “Dirty Harry,” played by Clint Eastwood.

Dirty Harry premiered 50 years ago in a time of social upheaval and rising crime, conditions very much resembling today’s. Inspector Callahan was a man whose feet were planted in one era while his eyes beheld another, one he did not find pleasing. He harbored a smoldering contempt not only for the criminals whom he saw unraveling society’s fabric, but also — and perhaps even more so — for those he viewed as abettors in the unraveling, the spineless police brass and inordinately legalistic district attorneys and judges.

I say Harry Callahan almost precisely fit Chandler’s description because he was in fact tarnished, willingly, even eagerly so. He was not tarnished in the sense that he was corrupt — perish the thought! — but because, in performing his job as a homicide detective, unlike the office-dwellers he disdained, he sometimes entered situations in which his only choice was between the commission of two wrong acts, one illegal, the other immoral. He accepted the stain of having acted illegally as the price of acting morally.

The main storyline of Dirty Harry involves Callahan’s pursuit of “Scorpio,” a serial killer loosely modeled on the still-unsolved “Zodiac” murders committed in and around San Francisco in the late 1960s. Chillingly played by the harmless-looking Andy Robinson, Scorpio holds the city in fear after randomly shooting two people with a sniper rifle. When he kidnaps a teenage girl and holds her for ransom, claiming she is hidden underground with only a few hours of breathable air left to her, Callahan is dispatched to deliver the payment.

Scorpio directs Callahan from one payphone to another across the city before they finally meet face to face near the cross on Mount Davidson. Rather than accept the ransom and release the girl, Scorpio brutally assaults Callahan and tells him he’s going to let the kidnapped girl die. Callahan produces a hidden knife and stabs Scorpio in the leg, but Scorpio escapes.

Callahan tracks him down to the abandoned Kezar Stadium, former home of the San Francisco 49ers. Entering the killer’s lair without a search warrant, Callahan pursues Scorpio onto the football field, where in a cinematically brilliant scene he shoots him in the leg.

It is here that Callahan must choose between doing what is legal and what is moral. Aware that the kidnapped girl will die if not found soon, Callahan extracts a confession from Scorpio by stepping on his wounded leg. The girl is found, though already dead, and Callahan is upbraided by the district attorney and a judge, who tell him that no case can be brought because of his transgressions. “The suspect’s rights were violated,” says the judge, “under the Fourth and Fifth and probably the Sixth and Fourteenth Amendments.”

“And Ann Mary Deacon,” says Callahan, of the murder victim. “What about her rights?”

With this, Callahan speaks for many today who see the criminal-justice pendulum as having once again swung too far in the direction of coddling criminals. San Francisco is home to district attorney Chesa Boudin, one of the George Soros–funded “progressive” prosecutors lately installed here and there across the country, overseeing dramatic crime surges in their respective cities. San Francisco’s homicides have increased 17 percent so far this year, coming on top of a similar increase in 2020. What would an updated Harry Callahan have to say about that?

But of course there will be no updated Harry Callahan, no matter how eager the moviegoing public might be to embrace one. In today’s Hollywood, where woke reigns supreme, it is unthinkable that such a character would be brought to the screen, though one can imagine a studio pitch meeting where Callahan is envisioned as a woman or gay or transsexual or some acceptable amalgam of all three. “How about,” a screenwriter might propose, “if we have Harry take up ‘Alice’ on his offer of a quickie on Mount Davidson?”

No, thank you. I’ll stick with the original.

Raymond Chandler concludes his description of the ideal detective thus:

He is a relatively poor man, or he would not be a detective at all. He is a common man or he could not go among common people. . . . He will take no man’s money dishonestly and no man’s insolence without a due and dispassionate revenge. . . . He has a range of awareness that startles you, but it belongs to him by right, because it belongs to the world he lives in. If there were enough like him, the world would be a very safe place to live in, without becoming too dull to be worth living in.

That is Harry Callahan, whose exploits in Dirty Harry and its four succeeding films in the franchise are as enjoyable today as ever. He remains, 50 years later, a supremely entertaining man of honor.

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