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All About Guns Well I thought it was funny!

We are very amused by this!

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All About Guns

Elmer Keith’s Legendary Number 5 Revolver: The Last Word

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All About Guns Well I thought it was funny!

Supreme Court strikes down 2nd Amendment, citing National Guard marksmanship

“Seriously, have you seen them shoot?”

 

WASHINGTON — In a stunning precedent-breaking case, the Supreme Court has overturned the militia clause of the 2nd Amendment, citing poor National Guard weapons skills.

“For over 200 years, the right to ‘keep and bear arms as part of a well-ordered militia’ has stood in the 2nd amendment,” said Chief Justice John G. Roberts in a rare 9-0 opinion.

“This court debated if that clause limits gun ownership to just members of the militia, or the National Guard as it’s now called, or if all Americans have the right to keep and bear arms. Given recent information, this court sees that the framers were exactly wrong. This court ruled that literally, anyone but the militia should have the right to firearms because seriously, have you seen them shoot?”

Roberts added that if he wanted to see a shot group like that, he’d throw rice at a sticky rat trap.

The recent information that Roberts alluded to was a training after-action report he noticed on the computer of 1st Lt. Anthony Chin, an executive officer in the Maryland National Guard’s 220th Military Police Company and clerk to Justice Roberts after a recent drill weekend.

“This was a huge misstep,” said Gen. Daniel Hokanson, chief of the National Guard Bureau. “Chin hadn’t changed the report to list everyone who didn’t qualify at the range as being at dental yet. On the bright side, that’s one less metric we’re red on.”

The decision, which urged amending the Constitution to say “the right to keep and bear arms as part of anyone but a well-ordered militia, Jesus fuck, learn to shoot boys,” may not be constitutional or grammatically correct according to legal experts. When questioned at a recent press conference, Justice Roberts stated that Congress would have to pass a law to change if they had a problem with it.

“Come and get us,” Roberts yelled from across the street to the Capitol Building.  “What are you going to do, call out the D.C. National Guard again to stop us from coming over there? We’re not worried about that.”

The National Rifle Association issued a statement that disagreed with and praised the decision.

“While we disagree in the strongest terms that there should be any modification of the 2nd amendment, the Supreme Court’s decision, in this case, is a prudent action to preserve the reputation of gun ownership as an important tool to protect our loved ones and property.” The statement ended by saying that “guns don’t kill people; National Guardsmen with guns don’t kill people either.”

Chin, for his part, has apologized for the lapse.

“I was so busy at the range I got distracted,” he said. “I had one of our 46-year-old specialists wandering around looking for the foxholes because the last time he went to the range, we still had foxholes. I had three guys sharing one pair of eyeglasses since they don’t have health insurance. And then one private who just got back from basic training zeroed his weapon, and we had to cycle everyone through on it since it was the only one that was zeroed. Then we had to clear the range to get a mandatory transgender Inuit sexual harassment and mental health briefing. And then we ran out of ammunition because it was the end of the training quarter. It was the worst day of my National Guard career….so far.”

The decision to end militia access to weapons was immediately unpopular with the nation’s National Guard staff sergeants who were marksmanship instructors while on active duty.

Though none of the current Supreme Court justices served in the military, sources close to Duffel Blog report that Justice Roberts is a hawkeye who shoots left-handed, Associate Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh is a first-time go on the M-9 range, and Associate Justices Clarence Thomas and Amy Comey Barrett hold the SCOTUS marksmanship record as a .50 caliber firing team, beating the previous record held by David H. Souter and Sandra Day O’Conner. Recently retired Associate Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, a known former member of the California National Guard, was given special dispensation for a personal firearm.


Blondes Over Baghdad lets someone else take the top block because it’s the selfless service thing to do. She’ll go to Ranger School when there’s a 3-beer policy. Follow her on Twitter at @BlondsOvrBaghd

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Taylor Uberti 1875 Outlaw Single Action .357

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Soldiering War

13 décembre 1952 – Indochine française. Portrait du caporal-chef Auguste Apel, légionnaire. with his Pioneer Beard

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Our Great Kids Soldiering You have to be kidding, right!?!

Its good to see that we can still produce a REAL Sailor! (I would of paid some good money to hear that Mast Meeting proceeding)

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The really fun to shoot S&W Model 25 in 45 ACP

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Ammo

Don’t even try and tell me on how big are those rats okay?

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A Martini converted into a 22LR

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The Green Machine Well I thought it was funny!

Make-A-Wish kid gets ‘Day 1 recycled’ at Ranger school “Rules are rules,” said a Ranger Instructor.

By Whiskey Fueled Tirade

EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. — Billy Gunderson, a six-year-old Make-A-Wish Foundation participant, was just days away from graduating from the Army’s Ranger school when the cadre informed the youngster he was a “day-one recycle,” meaning that he would have to re-start the 61-day leadership school from the beginning.

“Rules are rules,” said Staff Sgt. Jesse Garner, a Ranger Instructor. “Students can only eat when we say they can and that little maggot was stuffing his face without permission. I don’t care if it’s a chocolate pound cake or the fucking handful of pills I caught him choking down after the final patrol.”

“Besides, he’s never going to grow up to be a man if he can’t overcome a little adversity,” Garner added.

Billy’s parents say he told the Make-A-Wish foundation several months ago that all he ever wanted to be when he grew up was a Ranger. So when the foundation contacted the Ranger Training Brigade at Fort Benning, Georgia, the unit leadership was eager to enroll Billy in the next open class.

“We were excited to help little Billy achieve his wish, but as a point of pride, we refused to do some half-assed afternoon of obstacle courses followed by a bullshit tab presentation,” Col. Christopher Hammonds, commander of the Airborne and Ranger Training Brigade, told Duffel Blog. “If little Billy wants to earn his tab, he’s going to have to go through the same shared misery as the rest of us — extreme hunger, sleeplessness, and having to watch some droning dipshit take a dump on your terrain model while you brief your platoon.”

Sources say Billy’s Ranger school experience got off to a bumpy start after he recycled Darby phase once and the school’s storied “mountain phase” twice — the first time failing a patrol and the second for tripping over his IV line, which alerted the opposition force of his platoon’s location while they were emplacing an ambush. This time, Billy was just two days away from graduating when he received the crushing news.

“I thought for sure he would make it through this phase,” one of Billy’s Ranger school classmates told reporters. “He knew more about patrolling than some of the Ranger Instructors. They all called him Yoda because he’d already been here for a few months—and probably because he was only like three feet tall and looked like death.”

Friends say Billy remains optimistic about eventually graduating from the school, but he told reporters he was confused about why he could only eat one meal a day, sleep just a couple of hours, and have artillery round simulators tossed at him to achieve his “wish.”

“I love bears and cougars and camping with my dad,” Billy said as he packed his duffel bag for the bus ride back to Georgia. “But why do I have to do all of this stuff to be a park ranger?”

“I guess it is pretty cool that they gave me a rifle, though, and I’ve learned a lot of bad words.”


Whiskey Fueled Tirade is an Army guy, distilled spirit consumer, and throw-away COA composter. He identifies more with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, but sometimes we’re stuck with the name our parents gave us. If you have a favorite whiskey, recommend it to him on Twitter @FueledTirade