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Sir Winston Churchill's Guns

Now a lot of folks think that Churchill was just a Politician. Who stood up to Hitler in Democracies Gravest Hour. Which is true enough.
But there is a lot more to the man than just that. He was a Profession Soldier of the British Army . Also like most folks of his class, He was a avid shooter. So I hope that you like this stroll down memory lane.
his Most Famous Gun Portrait
Inline image 1
here are a few others from his earlier life.
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here he is trying out the New M1 Carbine with Ike and the rest of the high brass.
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and other toys
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The Sten gun
Inline image 5
Crossing the Rhine with Ma Deuce
Inline image 6
His personal shotguns
https://www.gunsamerica.com/blog/winston-churchills-personal-sidearm-for-sale/
The Boer war with his broomhandle MauserInline image 9
Out Grouse ShootingInline image 11
African RhinoInline image 12
 

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Another Great Reason Why I am glad that I did not join the US Navy!

MailOnline US - news, sport, celebrity, science and health stories

The secrets of the USS Indianapolis revealed: Incredible footage shows how the warship was hit by two Japanese torpedoes and its guns are still locked and loaded after it was discovered on the seabed after 72 years by Microsoft billionaire Paul Allen

  • Deep sea explorers used a drone which was sent to the ocean floor in order to beam back stunning images of the USS Indianapolis 
  • Last month, researchers found the wreckage of the Indianapolis, which was sunk by a Japanese torpedo in the final days of World War Two
  • The Indianapolis lies over three miles below the surface of the sea somewhere between Guam and the Philippines 
  • Paul Allen, the billionaire co-founder of Microsoft, sent an expedition toward the bottom of the sea to map out what remains of the Indianapolis 

The USS Indianapolis cruiser was returning from its mission to deliver components for the atomic bomb that would soon be dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima when it was fired upon in the North Pacific Ocean by a Japanese submarine on July 30, 1945

Exactly how the USS Indianapolis was sunk 72 years ago has been revealed after the wreck was inspected by a drone following its discovery last month by Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen.

Footage from the submersible shows that the warship was hit by two Japanese torpedoes, fragments of which can be seen, and how one struck a chamber containing scores of crew members who would have died instantly.

It also reveals how the ship’s huge cannons and guns are still ‘locked and loaded’ with shells and bullets. Parts of SC-1 SeaHawk scout planes can be seen, the doorway to the captain’s cabin and the ship’s ‘victory tally’ of how many enemy planes and boats it had downed.

The ship has been incredibly well preserved because it came to rest three miles below the surface of the ocean where the sea is extremely cold and contains little oxygen.

The Indianapolis was hit by a Japanese submarine in the Philippine Sea on July 30, 1945. It had just delivered components for the first atomic bomb.

It sunk in 12 minutes and of the 1,197 men aboard, roughly 300 went down with the ship. By the time rescuers arrived, a combination of exposure, dehydration, drowning and constant shark attacks had left only 317 men alive.

Deep sea explorers used a drone which was sent to the ocean floor in order to beam back stunning images of the USS Indianapolis

Deep sea explorers used a drone which was sent to the ocean floor in order to beam back stunning images of the USS Indianapolis

The USS Indianapolis is a naval gunship that lies three miles beneath the surface of the Philippine Sea after it was sunk by a Japanese torpedo during World War II

The USS Indianapolis is a naval gunship that lies three miles beneath the surface of the Philippine Sea after it was sunk by a Japanese torpedo during World War II

The 'victory tally' is seen above. It was meant to symbolize the number of Japanese ships and aircraft that were downed

The ‘victory tally’ is seen above. It was meant to symbolize the number of Japanese ships and aircraft that were downed

Allen’s research vessel, the Petrel, is  fitted with an autonomous underwater vehicle that can conduct deep-see missions to 6,000 meters (3.7miles) below the surface.

The Petrel’s drone beamed back stunning pictures of what it discovered on the USS Indianapolis in a live broadcast that was simulcast on both PBS and Paul Allen’s web site.

It showed that 20 feet of the Indianapolis was buried in the mud at the bottom of the ocean between Guam and the Philippines. Portions of the warship remain preserved, including part of the forward deck.

The USS Indianapolis is a naval gunship that lies three miles beneath the surface of the Philippine Sea after it was sunk by a Japanese torpedo during World War II
The USS Indianapolis is a naval gunship that lies three miles beneath the surface of the Philippine Sea after it was sunk by a Japanese torpedo during World War II

The ‘victory tally’ is seen above. It was meant to symbolize the number of Japanese ships and aircraft that were downed

The image of the Indianapolis is seen with the use of sonar, which enables researchers to map out the debris field

 

Upon The image of the Indianapolis is seen with the use of sonar, which enables researchers to map out the debris field

The image shows that the ship remains largely intact thanks to the depth of its location, the lack of oxygen, and the cold temperatures
The image shows that the ship remains largely intact thanks to the depth of its location, the lack of oxygen, and the cold temperatures
The USS Indianapolis was a ship that was built for its plethora of guns. The crew was also able to glimpse the 5-inch AFT gun, which fired a 50-pound shell about seven miles
The USS Indianapolis was a ship that was built for its plethora of guns. The crew was also able to glimpse the 5-inch AFT gun, which fired a 50-pound shell about seven miles
The expedition was also able to get an up-close look at a .40m anti-aircraft Starboard gun
The expedition was also able to get an up-close look at a .40m anti-aircraft Starboard gun
The shells that are still locked and loaded into the gun are visible
The shells that are still locked and loaded into the gun are visible
The stunning images also showed the debris field surrounding the Indianapolis. The above image shows part of an aircraft
The stunning images also showed the debris field surrounding the Indianapolis. The above image shows part of an aircraft
The aircraft hangar, where the ship stored the scout planes that were used for reconnaissance, is seen in the above image
The aircraft hangar, where the ship stored the scout planes that were used for reconnaissance, is seen in the above image
When the expedition first caught a glimpse of the number '35' as seen above, it was confirmation that the vessel was the Indianapolis
When the expedition first caught a glimpse of the number ’35’ as seen above, it was confirmation that the vessel was the Indianapolis
The U.S. Navy and Paul Allen's expedition team have agreed to keep the exact location of the vessel confidential

The U.S. Navy and Paul Allen’s expedition team have agreed to keep the exact location of the vessel confidential
The USS Indianapolis is now effectively an underwater grave and a war memorial to the lives lost

 
 

looking at the damage done by torpedoes, researchers evaluated the weight of one weapon’s warhead (1,200 pounds), the speed at which it traveled (48 knots), and the range (between six and seven kilometers).

An image beamed back from the drone showed the ship’s barbette, a structure that can hold guns that are 250 tons in weight. A gun still held by the structure had a barrel of 36 feet and a shell weight of 350lb.

Researchers noted that there is damage to the barbette, which they believe was caused by one of the torpedoes, which hit the ship between 40 and 50 feet below its location.

The expedition also was able to get an up-close look at a .40m anti-aircraft Starboard gun. The shells that are still locked and loaded into the gun are still visible.

The image of the Indianapolis is seen with the use of sonar, which enables researchers to map out the debris field

The image of the Indianapolis is seen with the use of sonar, which enables researchers to map out the debris field

The image shows that the ship remains largely intact thanks to the depth of its location, the lack of oxygen, and the cold temperatures

The image shows that the ship remains largely intact thanks to the depth of its location, the lack of oxygen, and the cold temperatures

The USS Indianapolis was a ship that was built for its plethora of guns. The crew was also able to glimpse the 5-inch AFT gun, which fired a 50-pound shell about seven miles

The USS Indianapolis was a ship that was built for its plethora of guns. The crew was also able to glimpse the 5-inch AFT gun, which fired a 50-pound shell about seven miles

The expedition was also able to get an up-close look at a .40m anti-aircraft Starboard gun

The expedition was also able to get an up-close look at a .40m anti-aircraft Starboard gun

The shells that are still locked and loaded into the gun are visible

The shells that are still locked and loaded into the gun are visible

The stunning images also showed the debris field surrounding the Indianapolis. The above image shows part of an aircraft

The stunning images also showed the debris field surrounding the Indianapolis. The above image shows part of an aircraft

The aircraft hangar, where the ship stored the scout planes that were used for reconnaissance, is seen in the above image

The aircraft hangar, where the ship stored the scout planes that were used for reconnaissance, is seen in the above image

When the expedition first caught a glimpse of the number '35' as seen above, it was confirmation that the vessel was the Indianapolis

When the expedition first caught a glimpse of the number ’35’ as seen above, it was confirmation that the vessel was the Indianapolis

The U.S. Navy and Paul Allen's expedition team have agreed to keep the exact location of the vessel confidential

The U.S. Navy and Paul Allen’s expedition team have agreed to keep the exact location of the vessel confidential

The USS Indianapolis is now effectively an underwater grave and a war memorial to the lives lost

The USS Indianapolis is now effectively an underwater grave and a war memorial to the lives lost

A 5-inch AFT gun, which could fire a 50-pound shell about seven miles, and 40-millimeter quad guns were also found near the sunken ship. Because the ship capsized, two of the three guns on board fell overboard.

The image near the barbette shows a doorway that leads into the cabin of the captain of the Indianapolis, Charles Butler McVay III

Also seen in the drone footage is a doorway that led into the cabin of the captain of the Indianapolis, Charles Butler McVay III.

Nearby the ship, researchers found the remnants of two SC-1 SeaHawk scout planes – which were used largely for reconnaissance – that were held in the ship’s aircraft hangar.

The researchers also find the remnants of two SC-1 SeaHawk scout planes - which were used largely for reconnaissance - that were held in the ship's aircraft hangar

A piece of one of the wings is seen on the ocean floor with the clear insignia of the US Navy. One of the aircraft’s panels is also clearly visible, as is a first aid kit used by pilots.

Through sonar, scientists were able to map out the debris field at the bottom of the sea – just over three miles from the surface of the water.

The map of the field enables scientists to determine the direction (west) and the speed (17 knots) at which the ship was moving when it was taken down by Japanese torpedoes.

The debris found around the sunken ship includes a bridge and a number of guns that came off the warship as it sank.

Another object that survived largely intact was the crane used by the warship to lift planes back aboard.

The scientists were able to discover that 20 feet of the Indianapolis was buried in the mud at the bottom of the ocean between Guam and the Philippines

Portions of the warship remain preserved, including part of the forward deck. The researchers operating the drone use remote control to get the lay of the land from the bow to the stern of the ship

Portions of the warship remain preserved, including part of the forward deck. The researchers operating the drone use remote control to get the lay of the land from the bow to the stern of the ship

The image near the barbette shows a doorway that leads into the cabin of the captain of the Indianapolis, Charles Butler McVay III

The image near the barbette shows a doorway that leads into the cabin of the captain of the Indianapolis, Charles Butler McVay III

Another image beamed back from the drone shows the barbette, the gun emplacement used by a warship

Another image beamed back from the drone shows the barbette, the gun emplacement used by a warship

The above image shows the hull of the ship, which is largely intact though the signs of damage caused by one of the torpedoes are apparent

The above image shows the hull of the ship, which is largely intact though the signs of damage caused by one of the torpedoes are apparent

The researchers also find the remnants of two SC-1 SeaHawk scout planes - which were used largely for reconnaissance - that were held in the ship's aircraft hangar

The researchers also find the remnants of two SC-1 SeaHawk scout planes – which were used largely for reconnaissance – that were held in the ship’s aircraft hangar

The USS Indianapolis cruiser was returning from its mission to deliver components for the atomic bomb that would soon be dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima when it was fired upon in the North Pacific Ocean by a Japanese submarine on July 30, 1945

The USS Indianapolis cruiser was returning from its mission to deliver components for the atomic bomb that would soon be dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima when it was fired upon in the North Pacific Ocean by a Japanese submarine on July 30, 1945

The ship was found in August with the R/V Petrel, which Allen had recently purchased, retrofitting the 250-foot vessel with state-of-the-art technology capable of diving to 6,000 meters.

Researchers with Allen’s organization were able to locate the ship in part because of a naval landing craft that had recorded a sighting of the USS Indianapolis the night that it was torpedoed, using the coordinates to get a location on the ship.

The US Navy and Allen’s expedition have kept the exact location of the ship, which is essentially an underwater grave and war memorial, a secret.

The USS Indianapolis cruiser was returning from its mission to deliver components for the atomic bomb that would soon be dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima when it was fired upon in the North Pacific Ocean by a Japanese submarine on July 30, 1945.

It sunk in 12 minutes, according to the Naval History and Heritage Command in Washington.

Of the 1,197 men aboard the Indianapolis, roughly 300 went down with the ship.

The remaining 900 men went into the shark-infested water, with few life boats and almost no food or water.

For four days, those who didn’t have lifejackets clung to those who did, as whitetip and Tiger sharks circled the wreckage and picked off survivors.

Allen said that the discovery was a humbling experience and a means of honoring sailors he saw as playing a vital role in ending World War Two

Allen said that the discovery was a humbling experience and a means of honoring sailors he saw as playing a vital role in ending World War Two

‘There soon were hundreds of fins around us,’ recalled survivor Harold Eck, an 18-year-old seaman at the time.

‘The first attack I saw was on a sailor who had drifted away from the group. I heard yelling and screaming and saw him thrashing . . . then I just saw red, foamy water.’

Another survivor said: ‘They were upon us every three or four hours.’ Bugler First Class Donald Mack would never forget those screams and the realization: ‘There was one less man to be rescued.’

The feeding frenzy which ensued remains the worst shark attack on humans in recorded history.

There was no time to send a distress signal before the ship sank, and four days passed before a bomber on routine patrol happened to spot the survivors in the water.

USS Indianapolis

Commissioned: November 15, 1932

Class: Portland-class cruiser

Wartime Complement: Up to 1,269

Awards: Asiatic-Pacific Campaign Medal with ten battle stars; American Defense Service Medal; World War II Victory Medal

Fate: Sunk on July 30, 1945 by Japanese submarine

By the time rescuers arrived, a combination of exposure, dehydration, drowning and constant shark attacks had left only 317 men, one-fourth of the ship’s original number, alive.

It wasn’t until after the war that the crew of the Indy learned the true story of the secret mission that had put them in the crosshairs of Japanese torpedoes.

At the time, all they knew was that they were transporting a large wooden crate from a naval yard in San Francisco to the island of Tinian, the busiest US air-base in the Pacific.

The men had joked that it probably contained nothing more than a consignment of luxury toilet paper for the Navy top brass.

In reality it contained about half of the world’s supply of enriched uranium at the time, and atomic bomb components.

The mission was successful, and the materials were used in the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

The Indianapolis was steaming onward to the Philippines when two torpedoes from the Japanese sub I-58 struck it.

Capt. William Toti (Ret), spokesperson for the survivors of the USS Indianapolis, said upon learning of the discovery that every soldier, to a man, ‘have longed for the day when their ship would be found, solving their final mystery.’

‘They all know this is now a war memorial, and are grateful for the respect and dignity that Paul Allen and his team have paid to one of the most tangible manifestations of the pain and sacrifice of our World War II veterans.’

The USS Indianapolis (CA-35) was a 9,800-ton Portland Class heavy cruiser that operated in the Atlantic and Pacific, and earned 10 battle stars during WWII.

The sinking of the USS Indianapolis remains the most tragic maritime disaster in US naval history.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4882728/Paul-Allen-reconstructs-doomed-battleship-sank.html#ixzz4sgEfKGrF
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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More Stuff I found on TR! (I hope that you like it)

Related image
 
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TR At Harvard
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Some Seriously British Bad Boys

** Trigger warning! The stuff below has some serious adult Conversations and Social Interactions. ***

Image result for the united kingdom
Now I am going to give out a few  pieces of serious advice for those folks thinking of going to the United Kingdom for a visit.
 
When it comes to our cousins across the the Pond. Do not be fooled by their accents or their manners.
So here is a few clues that you might want to remember.
They speak a language that is very similar to the Language we speak here in the USA.
Do not try and drink any of them under the Table! As partaking of spirits is almost a Religion over there!
(They invented Scotch Whiskey and other drinks over there)
Also You may be foolish enough to think that they are a bunch of Sissies.
Image result for men in kilts
Go ahead and tell him, That it’s a skirt!
But trust me on this one! As they have some real hard noses over there. Since one does not go out and conquer the Biggest Empire in History. By being a Poof!
As is shown here.
 
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Image result for the British empire memes
Image result for the queen of england memes

 

 
So if you get a chance. By all means go! As I had the most fun with my clothes on out there.

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Some stuff I found on Theodore Roosevelt & Guns

I have always found “The Good Roosevelt” to be a refreshing kind of guy. So I thought I would share some of the things that I found on the net I hope that you like this!
Inline image 11KerInline image 7Inline image 9
As you an see the Old Boy really got around.
Since he is the only American so far to have been awarded the Presidency of the United States, The Nobel Peace Prize and the Medal of Honor.
Image result for theodore roosevelt nobel peace prize
Image result for theodore roosevelt nobel peace prize
Image result for theodore roosevelt medal of honor
(His Son -Theodore Jr got his for his actions as a Brigadier General on D Day at Normandy. Generals do not usually get that medal at that rank by the way.)
Image result for theodore roosevelt jr medal of honor
Image result for theodore roosevelt jr medal of honor
Roosevelt’s 1903 Springfield Rifle – The later it belonged to Kermit Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt’s sonInline image 10
 
Image result for teddy roosevelt 1903 rifle
I just wish we had more like him around!
I will post some more stuff about him later on.
Thanks for your time on this!
Grumpy

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Old School Brit

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Snake Bites

Snakes can be friendly
Snakes can be friendly

 
First Aid & Treatment
Snake venom is actually a kind of highly evolved salivary secretion which is used to both kill and digest prey. Venom was not made against man. There are two basic types of snake venom. One affects the nerves (venom of cobra and common krait); the other one blood (that of vipers). Polyvalent anti-venom serum is effective against the bites of the Big Four – cobra, saw-scaled viper, common krait, Russell’s viper. If a venomous snake bites someone, just remember two things: don’t panic; go to a hospital and get anti-venom serum.

  • Keep the victim calm, restrict movement.
  • Assure the victim and do not let him panic. When under panic, it will enhance heart rate and would circulate the venom faster in the body.
  • Remove any rings or constricting items; the affected area may swell.
  • Stop lymphatic spread of venom – bandage firmly, splint and immobilise. The limb, which has been affected by the bite, should be immobilized with splint. Victim to keep the hand as close to the level of the heart as possible – this reduces the flow of venom to major areas. A compression bandage (as firm as you would put on a sprained ankle) should cover the entire limb with the splint. The wrapping should start from the digits and extend till armpit in case of hands and groin in case of bite to the leg.
  • A snakebite victim is under tremendous psychological stress. It is necessary to keep the patient warm. However, no alcohol/hot beverages should be given.
  • •The patient should not be allowed to exert himself in any manner. Do not allow the victim to eat or to drink water in order to keep metabolism at low rate. No water No food is the golden rule.
  • • DO NOT COVER THE BITE AREA AND PUNCTURE MARKS. The wound should be gently cleaned with antiseptic.
  • • Try to aspirate the venom out of the puncture marks with standard suction devices. It has been identified that a suction more than 270 mmHg can initiate the flow from the puncture marks. Suction instruments often are included in commercial snakebite kits. But, the suction should be applied within 5 minutes of the bite.
  • The only remedy for venomous snakebite is the anti-venom serum, which is available at most government hospitals and public health centers. Some private nursing homes have also started stocking it and treat snakebite cases.

How NOT to Treat Snakebite

  •  No ice or any other type of cooling action on the bite. Research has shown it to be potentially harmful.
  • No electric cable, string or rubber tourniquets to be used, this cuts off blood flow completely and may result in amputation of the affected limb.
  • No electric shock, this method is under study and has yet to be proven effective. It could harm the victim.
  • No incision in the bite site. Such measures have NOT been proven useful and causes needless additional injury, loss of blood, infection, waste of time.
  • Do not burn the wound, as it would not have any effect on the venom, which has already entered the bloodstream.
  • Do not suck the wound with mouth. A suction device may be applied over the bite to help draw venom out of wound without making cuts.
  • Potassium permanganate should never be used.

Know About Snakebite

  • All snakes are not venomous – so every snakebite is not going to result in death – it would save people from quacks. And reduce the amount of panic and chaos.
  • Even a venomous bite is not always fatal – because the severity of snakebite depends on many factors like the size of the snake, whether the bite could be completed, whether it was a drybite or not, the age, physique and affected limb of the victim.
  • First Aid would enable a person to buy more time to reach medical aid on time.
  • The only cure which is available is anti-venom serum injection and not quacks.
  • First Aid – if not done properly could cause more harm than benefit.

How to Prevent a Snake Bite

  •  Any unknown snake is potentially dangerous; do not play, avoid any contact with any snake including those of small size, baby, lethargic, dead. A cut off head can keep poisonous activities for several minutes. Make yourself familiar with the description of poisonous snakes in the place where you live.
  • Use torchlight at night – all local poisonous snakes are active in the evening and at night. Pay more attention in the forest, close to bushes, tall plants, etc.
  • Snakes usually don’t bite you without alarm:
    • Cobra – lifts vertically front part of the body (1/3), opens hood, makes hiss, rushes to the aim.
    • Vipers – make a spiral from a tail, bend like zigzag front part of the body, and make a strong hiss.
  • If you meet a snake, go back slowly, don’t do sudden movements, do not turn your back to the snake, do not run, and give the possibility for a snake to go away

Remember

  • Never try to assess whether it was venomous snakebite or not. As a layman one should treat every snakebite as venomous snakebite, as some snake venom (like that of common krait) does not show immediate effect even in the case of a serious bite, it is wise to rush to a hospital.
  • Not all bites from venomous snakes lead to death; many venomous snakes (and as many as 85% of snakes are non venomous) deliver only a dry bite to humans. Even in the case of a full bite, with appropriate first-aid, care and treatment a snakbite victim can fully recover. Very few venomous snakebites are fatal. Just as every mosquito bite does not cause malaria, so every snakebite does not cause death.
  • No attempt should be made to kill the snake to carry it along to the hospital. It would result in delaying the arrival of the patient to the hospital and is potentially dangerous for the person who will attempt killing the snake. Qualified doctor can diagnose observing the patient for clinical symptoms and pathologial tests.
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One of the Funniest Lists about the US Army

Sadly I ran across this List well after the Army & I had a very amicable divorce. But none the less, It really captures some of the spirit and humor of Presidents Reagan’s Army.
 
I hope that you like it
Grumpy
 
 

Image result for the 1980s us army funny meme

Skippy’s List: The  things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

Explanations of these events:

a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz…what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? “Um….a rubber sheep…I can explain why that’s there….”)
To explain how I’ve stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly….. I’m funny, so they let me live.
The some of the 213 Things….
1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.
11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!”
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!”
27. Don’t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)
36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).
37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.
38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.
54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean “I have been promoted three more times than you”.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no “Anti-Mime” campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to “Block out the space mind control lasers”.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed “Skyclad”.
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Some advice if you are going to Jail!

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Old Joke – What is a Conservative ? A Liberal who got mugged’
What is a Liberal? A Conservative that went to jail.

Now hopefully you will never have to use this information. But as one never really knows what is coming down the pike toward them. You might want to read this.

  Let me begin by saying up front and center. That I am not a cop or a lawyer or something like that. This is just what I have seen as a Juvenile Hall Court School Teacher with over 20 years of experience.
  Now God Forbid but somehow you have gotten busted for something serious.
  Again let us hope that a gun is not involved with it. As this is as serious as a heart attack.
(I have had a couple of them – Heart attacks- myself by the way)
  While this is happening to you. You are going to have a flood of emotions. If you are smart. Then you will do your best to control them and pay attention to what is happening.
Here is my advice for what it is worth to you.
#1 and this is most important to remember!
  The Cops are NOT your friend at this time!
  So be polite and obey all their orders.
  Do not give them a hard time. As they can & will kick your ass into the next century.
  When they show up. If you have to talk at all. Tell they that you respect them & that they get a bad Reputation from the Media.
  But then say I want a lawyer and then STFU! Because they are going to record everything that you say or do. Which they will then try and use against you.
As they are very highly trained in making folks talk. They will play on your respect for authority and the urge to talk your way out of trouble.
  When you go to the Station House or Barracks. Where they are going to strip search you from head to toe.
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  Literally, as you would be amazed at what stuff Folks try and smuggle in that they have put up their rectum.
  So do not resist this if you can at all costs. As you do not want any more bad paper being written up on you.
  Then you will be finger printed and photographed.
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Anybody look familiar to you?
  Then it depends on what jail you are in but you will have all your personals taken from you. You will probably will get most of it back. But do not count on getting any cash back. Since how do you prove that it is yours?
  Then comes you either have your clothes taken from you or not. Instead you will get some sort of  loud colored jumper. Or not.
  Sooner or later you will be given one phone call unless you are an Asshole. If you do call I highly sugguest that you call the local Bail Bondsman.
  Now the Bonds man is going to cost you a lot. But they also can hopefully help you a lot to get out. Then you will have time to get your defense & affairs in order.
  But generally you are most probably going to spend the night in a holding cell. Until you see the Judge. Who is going to decide what to do with you.
  Now here is some advice while you are locked up.
TRUST NOBODY! There are a lot of informers & trustees that will be put in your cell with you. So that the state can get more information on you. So just do not say a word to any one if you can help it.
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Be polite but firm. “Hey man my lawyer told me to talk to no one. Its nothing personal its just business!”
  AGAIN DO NOT TALK TO ANYBODY ABOUT WHY YOU ARE HERE UNLESS IT IS YOUR LAWYER!
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  Do not drop the soap! It is really true about Male Rape in prison. All your cellmates are generally some real hard nose and bad folks. Do NOT Trust them and avoid them if possible.
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  The Guards also do not care and they are also not your friends. Since they also are serving time also until they get their pensions. DO NOT TALK TO THEM IF YOU CAN HELP IT!
  They just want a nice quiet time and will do anything for it. They are not there for your protection.
In closing, I hope that you never have to use this info! Good Luck!
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I found this & Maybe it could be Useful to you Folks out there! (Please Let me know Okay?)

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