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All About Guns Gear & Stuff

REVIEW: SUREFIRE RYDER 9-TI2 SUPPRESSOR By Will Dabbs, MD

The Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 Sound Suppressor and Springfield Armory XD-M Elite OSP Threaded handgun synergistically combine to become something greater than their parts. The XD-M Elite Tactical OSP (Optical Sight Pistol) reflects the current state of the art in full-sized combat handguns. The Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 is as fine a handgun suppressor as mankind can create. Thread these two magnificent tools together and strap on a Streamlight TLR-8G to create the most effective combat pistol in the world.

Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 Sound Suppressor on an XD-M Elite OSP pistol
The Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 Sound Suppressor is shown mounted to a Springfield Armory XD-M Elite OSP pistol.

Walter Mitty’s Ideal Suppressed Handgun

I can count on less than one hand the number of times the CIA has tapped me to travel to the other side of the world to rescue a kidnapped supermodel from the clutches of some evil super-villain. In amongst all the shaving cream commercials and trans-oceanic jaunts on the superyacht I bought with the proceeds from my gunwriting who has time for such? Were the President to call, more often than not I’d just tell him I was too busy.

Who am I kidding? I’m a 55-year-old man with worn-out knees, steadily worsening presbyopia, a family, and a mortgage. The only way I might ever rescue a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model in a faraway land would be if absolutely everybody else to include Nancy Pelosi, Pete Buttigieg and Greta Thunberg were otherwise indisposed. However, there yet remains something to be said for maintaining the proper tools in the profoundly unlikely event I might actually get that call.

SureFire suppressor and Streamlight weaponlight on a XD-M
Few of us will ever get the opportunity to infiltrate an evil lair to rescue a supermodel. However, this is the rig you’d want should you get that call.

There is something primally satisfying about tactical shooting. I don’t hunt. I have no issues with those who do, but that’s just not my thing. However, the storied art of tactical shooting embodies the timeless allure of power under control. For me at least it’s like golf, only way cooler.

The urge to contrive the optimized tactical handgun spawns from some primordial spaces. Rocking the hottest gun on the range certainly has its appeal. However, unlike a top-end $10,000 Gemspot OM 5 Deluxe Diamond Golf Driver, this rig will actually help keep you and your family safe come what may. This deep into the 21st century the practical applications of a proper tricked-out tactical handgun are fairly obvious.

Practical Tactical

The ideal suppressed handgun system needs to be rugged, accurate, quiet, intuitive and utterly reliable. This weapon should run fast and well while shooting straight and packing a simply breathtaking number of rounds onboard. The symbiotic melding of the Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 Sound Suppressor, the Springfield Armory XD-M Elite Tactical OSP threaded handgun, and the thumb-sized Streamlight TLR-8G tactical light is all that and more.

Man holding Springfield XD-M Elite pistol with SureFire suppressor
You’d be hard-pressed to find a more effective and efficient suppressed handgun system. This rig has literally all the bells and whistles.

The Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 is one of the lightest, thinnest, most effective pistol cans in its class. Sporting a svelte tube diameter of 1.25″ and a paltry 10.7-oz. weight, the Ryder 9-Ti2 offers a trivial weight burden. Rugged, mil-certified, heat-treated, sequentially-numbered stainless steel baffles and a fluted titanium outer tube define ballistic greatness. A built-in Linear Inertial Decoupler ensures flawless reliability, while exceptional rigidity and concentricity provide superlative accuracy with a minimal and predictable point of impact shift. The Ryder 9-Ti2 is honestly as good as it gets in my opinion.

The 1.25″ outer tube diameter is about the same width as the pistol grip. This offers relatively unobstructed use of the gun’s sights. It also allows you to holster the piece in certain carry rigs with the suppressor in place. We committed gun nerds prattle on about pistols and suppressors all the time, but there are precious few ways to actually tote the two together. The Ryder 9-Ti2 can get you there.

The Springfield Armory XD-M Elite OSP Threaded Handgun comes from the factory with a 5.28″ hammer-forged threaded barrel, deep cocking serrations both front and rear, and a truly bilateral ambidextrous pushbutton magazine release. The slide release is replicated on both sides of the gun. The META (Match Enhanced Trigger Assembly) offers an inimitably crisp, fast, and safe striker-fired trigger experience.

Suppressor mounted on a Springfield XD-M Elite OSP pistol
The Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 Sound Suppressor is positively anorexic. Despite its trim architecture. the can is exceptionally effective.

What’s brand new nowadays is the factory-mounted HEX Dragonfly electronic optical sight. This compact, lightweight slide-mounted optic provides a wide uncluttered field of view along with an easily-accessed 3.5-MOA red dot. The battery lasts around three years, so you needn’t fret about it unduly. Replace the battery every odd-numbered birthday, and you’re good. Mount up a Streamlight TLR-8G combination light and laser, and the thing hunts like a bloodhound even indoors or in hard dark.

Trigger Time

The positively epic 22-round magazine that feeds the Springfield Armory XD-M Elite OSP Threaded Handgun lasts just about forever. You can get tired of squeezing the trigger before the box runs dry. That’s entertaining on the range. However, out in the Real World the fastest mag change is the one you don’t have to make. The META trigger and optimized everything conspire to create a delightful and effective shooting experience.

Testing the Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 Sound Suppressor on the range
At 13 meters from a simple rest, this combination offers some fairly incredible accuracy.

The Ryder 9-Ti2 adds very little weight and even less bulk. What added mass there is reaches out forward to help tame recoil and muzzle flip. All centerfire pistol cans are noisy. However, the Ryder 9-Ti2 employs cutting-edge baffle design to excise the snap from those spunky 9mm rounds. Feed the gun 147-gr. subsonic loads and shoot it in a wide-open space and it is surprisingly easy on the ears. Thread it on,  and it will do its part to help preserve your hearing and tactical awareness should you ever have to use this rig indoors or within a vehicle.

The Springfield Armory XD-M Elite Tactical OSP runs like a toddler after Toblerone, and the Surefire Ryder 9-Ti2 Sound Suppressor amps up both the sex appeal and tactical efficiency. The Streamlight TLR-8G shreds the darkness while offering truly surgical short-range targeting. The sum total will ably keep you and yours safe come what may. You may not actually be called upon to rescue a supermodel from a Bond-grade supervillain, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep the proper tools handy, just in case.

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All About Guns

Minute of Mae: Mannlicher 1905

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Manly Stuff

HOW TO DIE WELL BY WILL DABBS, MD

The hospital can be the site of some of the most powerful of human experiences.
(Source: Daan Stevens, Unsplash)

 

It was late on a Monday evening at the VA hospital. I had been at it since 6 a.m. and was in for a long night and day. I walked into the dimly lit room and could tell at a glance the man was dying.

His breath came thick and heavy. His chest heaved with the struggle. I called him softly by name. To my surprise, he stiffened slightly. I had mistakenly thought him too far gone for conversation. I soon discerned he was lucid and could answer my questions, albeit only in brief spurts.

He was not an exceptionally old man, but he was clearly spent. A combat veteran of the Korean War, he had been diagnosed with a squamous cell carcinoma of his sinuses five years before. The radiation and chemotherapy had burned out his olfactory and optic nerves, leaving him completely blind and without his sense of smell or taste. He was utterly deaf in one ear and had 70% hearing loss in the other. His salivary glands no longer functioned, so he had to constantly sip from a cup of water. He also had a profound diabetic neuropathy that robbed him of sensation in his hands and feet.

As if that weren’t enough, two years prior his cancer had metastasized to his lungs. Now he lay before me unable to see, taste, smell or feel and only barely able to hear as he drowned incrementally in his own fluids. He was by far the most pitiful human being I had ever imagined.

In pathetic gasps, he told me the details of his medical odyssey. I got to his social history, and he reported two packs of cigarettes a day, daily alcohol consumption and heavy drug use for 35 years. As he clearly did not drink, smoke or do drugs now, I innocently inquired as to when he had stopped those things.

Without hesitation, he gave me a specific date. I asked him what was significant about that day, and he replied, “That’s when I gave my heart to Jesus.”

This opened the floodgates, and he enthusiastically explained the details of his spiritual transformation. He called himself a messianic Jew, claiming Jesus had forever changed his life.

As I listened enraptured, he told me not to feel sorry for him. He said he hated being sick, but because of his illness, he had been able to lead his daughter and one of his chemotherapy nurses to Jesus. He said he could clearly see God’s will in his illness. The strength and confidence he exuded were superhuman.

By the time I finished the interview, we were both exhausted. I checked his medication orders a final time and put him to bed.

In his final hours, the man used his last words to pray for me and my family until he could no longer speak.

 

The night was busy, something or other requiring my attention throughout the evening. The next morning, I met the man’s wife and daughter and found their faith was up to the challenge.

The day was long, and he gradually declined. By 6 p.m. the next day, I was thoroughly spent but dropped by to check on my sickest patient before heading home.

He was gasping in an oxygen mask, his wife, daughter and a nurse in attendance. I took his hand and explained I was going home for the night. He took a surprisingly firm grasp on my arm and pulled me close, his strongest voice now little more than a whisper. With his other hand he reached up, removed his oxygen mask and immediately began turning blue. With literally his dying breath, the man prayed for me.

He did not pray for me to alleviate his pain or conjure some miraculous cure. Instead, he prayed for me and my ministry in the hospital. He prayed for the well-being of my family. He prayed I might enjoy the abundant life in Christ he had enjoyed. He prayed until he could no longer speak.

I replaced his oxygen mask and slid to the floor, stunned. Right there, in front of him, his family, the VA nurse and God himself, I wept like a child. I weakly thanked him before heading home, now having quite a lot to ponder.

The next morning, I arrived at the hospital early to find his condition worse still. At 10:47, with my arm around his wife’s shoulders, I watched him die. I had known him less than three days, yet I count him among my dearest friends. He showed me how to die well.

I look forward to seeing him again.

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All About Guns Well I thought it was funny! Well I thought it was neat!

What I call a Great Start!

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All About Guns

Zastava Arms M91: Serbian Sniper Rifle — SHOT Show 2022 by IVAN LOOMIS

The M91: Serbian Sniper Rifle

Zastava Arms has been in business for 165 years. And thanks to Zastava Arms USA, a number of their guns are imported for us here in the states. One of their new offerings is the M91 Sniper Rifle.

In simple terms, it is a scaled-up Kalashnikov made to accept the larger 7.62x54R cartridge, commonly found in PKM machine guns. It is used as the sniper rifle for the Serbian Military and is now available for you here in the US. The M91 comes complete with the POSP 4×24 Rifle Scope and mount, two (10) round magazines, and a sling.

The POSP 4×24 Rifle Scope comes mounted on the M91, adjustable for windage and elevation.

The rifle itself features a 24″ cold hammer-forged barrel that is chrome-lined for durability. The muzzle is threaded 14×1 left hand, and has a thread protector tac welded for import compliance. This allows you to grind off the weld, remove the thread protector, and put on any muzzle device or suppressor.

The M91 also features a three-position gas tube. The lowest setting is perfect for shooting suppressed while the middle setting is a good all-around setting for most shootings. Then, should the gun be extremely dirty or in harsh cold environments, you can turn it to the last position, ensuring reliability regardless of conditions.

The M91 features three different settings on the gas tube, user adjustable for various conditions.

Specs:

  • 24 inch Hammer forged chrome lined barrel
  • Threaded 14 x 1 left hand with tack weld muzzle nut
  • 1.5 mm bulged trunnion receiver
  • Ergonomic Stock set
  • Chambered in 7.62x54R
  • Adjustable gas flow regulator
  • Twist rate 1:9
  • 2 Magazines Included
  • POSP 4X24 RIFLE SCOPE Included
  • Rifle sling included

The stock is adjustable as one would expect on a sniper rifle, allowing for the shooter to get stable and comfortable while stretching the M91 out at distance. This Serbian Sniper Rifle is available for purchase through Zastava Arms USA with a MSRP of $3,499.99.

Think of the M91 as the big brother to the AK, chambered in 7.62x54R.
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All About Guns Cops

NYC to set up gun checks at entry points as gun violence surges By Luke Funk

As New York City has seen many high-profile shootings, including five NYPD officers shot since the start of the new year, the mayor is coming up with a new plan to fight gun violence in NYC.

Mayor Eric Adams said that despite the NYPD taking around 6,000 guns off of the streets last year, new guns are arriving every day.

One solution that he laid out in an address on Monday afternoon was for city police to work with state law enforcement to set up spot checks at all entry points to the city like the Port Authority and other bus and train stations.

When questioned about the gun checks, Adams said he envisioned random checks where bags would be screened.

“We will also move forward on using the latest in technology to identify problems,” Adams said. “From facial recognition technology to new tools that can spot those carrying weapons, we will use every available method to keep our people safe.”

Adams said the city will expand the gun violence suppression division in the detective bureau. It will be tasked to seize illegal guns and build cases against gun sellers and weapons traffickers.

He said that the NYPD will put more officers on patrol in “key neighborhoods” through the city. He said 80% of gun violence takes place in 30 precincts in the city. The mayor said he wants to bring back a new version of NYPD’s plainclothes anti-crime unit, which was disbanded two years ago.

Adams said he would start or expand youth mentoring and employment programs and ask pastors and other faith leaders to deliver public safety messages to their congregations. He also wants more resources for mental health care and said he will focus on appointing city judges who have a “demonstrated commitment” to keeping criminals who use guns off the city streets.

“The sea of violence comes from many rivers,” Adams said. “We must dam every river that feeds this greater crisis.”

In a statement, City Council Speaker Adrienne Adams (no relation to the mayor) largely supported the mayor’s plan.

“We strongly welcome the mayor’s focus on strengthening community-based violence prevention programs, mental health care, and investments in youth employment,” the speaker said, “and we’re glad these are so central to the plan and conversation, providing a great starting point.”

However, Adrienne Adams cautioned the mayor about bringing back the controversial plainclothes anti-crime unit.

“Concerns have been raised in communities about the plainclothes unit’s ability to reduce violence, given its past history of initiating undue violence,” the speaker said. “This proposal — along with others to change city and state criminal justice policies — requires further public dialogue and transparency.”

On Sunday, New York Gov. Kathy Hochul announced that a multi-state task force would work to slow the flow of illegal guns into the city.

“Too many lives have been lost because of illegal firearms that should never have been on our streets,” Hochul said.

More than 50 agencies from nine Northeastern states are taking part in the task force.

NYPD Officer Jason Rivera, 22, was killed responding to a mother’s call for help with her son in Harlem on Friday night.  His partner Officer Wilbert Mora, 27, remained in critical condition on Monday.

Adams, a former NYPD captain, joined the governor in calling on the federal government to do more to round up stolen guns like the one used in Friday’s shooting.

Other high profiles crimes in the city since the start of the year include a 19-year-old teen who was killed while working at an East Harlem Burger King and an 11-month old baby shot in the head while she was in her mother’s arms.

With FOX 5 NY Staff and The Associated Press.

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All About Guns

A Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921

Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 1

Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 2
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 3
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 4
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 5
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 6
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 7
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 8
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 9
Winchester Model 12 Pump Action Shotgun 12 Gauge FULL Choke- c1921 - Picture 10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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N.S.F.W.

Something easy on the eyes – N.S.F.W.

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All About Guns Cops

A Real Bad Ass Cop and his War Stories

 

It was the most controversial unit ever assembled by the New York City Police Department. Its members were the Green Berets and Navy SEALs of the NYCPD.  Forty men were thrust into the most dangerous assignments devised for a police unit.

The Stakeout Squad was a unit within the NYC Emergency Squad. The Emergency Squad was a dangerous assignment in itself. When a precinct or a cop was in trouble, it was the Emergency Squad that was called for. They handled everything from airplane crashes to SWAT assignments. I was a member of the Emergency and Stakeout Squads, and it was the most exciting time in my life.

I loved working in both units and was proud to serve alongside such heroic police officers. I never considered myself exceptionally brave or courageous. In fact, I was somewhat ashamed of the feelings of fear that came over me in my first gunfight. Looking back at what I boldly did while in the stakeout unit, I questioned myself as to where the courage came from. Was it the courage of my comrades rubbing off on me, or was it the Greek Spartan blood of my grandparents flowing through my veins? My wife held a much lower opinion as to the reason for my heroic exploits. She told a concerned neighbor that I was such a coward that I would never even let the police department take my blood or stick a needle in me, much less let someone cut me or shoot my hide full of  holes. I kind of prefer the other reasons for my acts of courage.

In many ways, being on the Stakeout Squad was a thankless job. It was started by a bold police commissioner, Howard Leary, but later came under an ultraliberal police administration. The liberal hierarchy condemned us as assassins, while the frontline police officers looked up to us as heroes.

It was the police bosses who had no knowledge of gunfighting who thrust us into danger. Had they listened to the expert gunfighters who made up the unit, we would not have had to resort to as many firefights as we did. But since we were only line officers, they let unknowledgable upper brass set up the stakeouts. They would put us in such close proximity to the robbers that we knew we would never recover in time if they decided to shoot first. We would not have the luxury of time to see if our armed robber would capitulate.

ONE INCH AWAY FROM DEATH

During training sessions, I instructed my fellow stakeout members to shoot if they did not see the robber throw down his weapon quickly when the officer made his confrontation and verbal warning. One of my men took offense to this instruction. He asked, “Are you telling me to murder these guys while I have a shotgun and a vest on?” I repeated, “If they don’t drop their weapon the moment you yell at them to do so and they see your POLICE letters on your vest, I want you to blow them out of their socks.” He shook his head in disagreement and did not speak to me for the rest of the training session.

Three days later this same officer challenged a robber in a liquor store on Second Avenue in Manhattan. He later told me, “Jim, you were right. I almost bought the farm.” He said that at the moment he came out of hiding from the back of the liquor store and made his challenge, all he saw was a gun flash in the robber’s hand as he quickly turned and faced the officer. One bullet struck the officer square in the vest over his chest. The instantaneous second shot passed just an inch past the officer’s right ear and imbedded itself in the door frame behind him.

After he related the story, he shook my hand and apologized for doubting me. He then took a transfer form, filled it out, and left the Stakeout Squad. I forgot to mention that he quickly recovered after the second shot and started pumping the Ithaca Model 37 shotgun, blowing the gunman through the glass entrance door right out onto Second Avenue.

MARTY AND BENNY

I also had a comedy team in the Stakeout Unit, who I will call Benny and Marty. Ben resembled a muscular Lou Costello and Marty was the spitting image of Andrew Dice Clay and just as raw and funny. To this day I still wonder if they are related. During training sessions I tried to emphasize to them that at least one man had to be alert and on point at all times once they cross the threshold of a stakeout, but they never took me seriously.

The story that I am about to relate to you will seem unbelievable, but it is totally true. Marty and Ben were doing a 4 P.M. to 12 A.M. The stakeout was a drugstore in Brooklyn. Since it was near dinnertime they stopped to get a pizza. They walked into the drugstore with their takeout pizza, but instead of one man getting into the point position, Marty and Benny decided to sit at the back of the prescription counter and eat their hot pizza together, like the buddies they were. (The “point” was the term we used for the man on watch. In this case the point position was in the stockroom sitting on top of a phone booth. The phone booth was imbedded in the stockroom wall with its entrance flush to the store proper. It was a very good tactical setup. We always tried to get a high observation view.)

I can imagine the look on their faces, with a mouthful of pizza, when they spotted the upraised hands of the drugstore clerk heading their way. Right behind the clerk they saw the raised hands of the pharmacist moving toward them. They dove out of their chairs and scurried into the stockroom. As they waited, the robber herded the clerk and the pharmacist into the stockroom entrance. As soon as they were clear of the officers, Marty jumped out and pointed his Colt Detective Special into the middle of the gunman’s face. He yelled, “Drop the gun!” The gunman responded with a shot fired right in the middle of Marty’s gut.

Marty later told me that at that moment he thought to himself, “Cirillo’s right. You will not feel the shot with adrenaline pumping into your system.” Marty pumped six shots right into the gunman’s face, and Benny joined with five shots from his Smith & Wesson five-shot Chief. Marty told me he saw the flash of the gunfire reflected in the gunman’s eyes. He wondered, “When is this SOB going to fall?”

When Marty heard the dull clicks on his expended shells, he finally saw the gunman’s eyes flicker and then shut as he crumpled to the floor. He yelled to Benny, “Benny, I’m hit. Call an ambulance quick.” Benny asked Marty, “Where are you hit?” Marty said, “In the gut. He could not have missed.”

The pharmacist told me later that Benny helped Marty take off his shirt to look for the bullet wound. Marty had hair on his chest and belly as thick as an ape. He told me that when Benny was parting the hair, it looked like a chimp grooming another chimp. Benny now said to the ashen Marty, “I don’t see any blood or a bullet hole.” With a quivering voice, Marty said, “Geez, maybe it’s in the belly button.”

Benny asked the pharmacist for a swab. The pharmacist handed him a swab. Benny poked the swab into Marty’s belly button. He took it out and saw there was no blood. Benny said, “Marty, there’s no blood. Are you sure he hit you?” Benny then picked up and examined the gun that the robber shot Marty with. He laughed and blurted out, “S***, it’s a ***damned starter’s pistol!”

Marty, still white with shock, sat down to recover. Benny got on the phone to report the shooting. He stood over the downed and evidently dead robber and called in his description. “I got a male black, 6’2” or 6’3”, weight 270 or 300 pounds, age uh, uh, 32 years.” With that the robber suddenly opened his eyes and said, “S*** man, I’m only 26. Hey officer, can I have a tissue? I got blood in my nose.”

Benny’s hair stood up on the back of his head, as he swore nobody could live with two revolver loads pumped into his head and face. Marty jumped out of the chair and felt his trigger finger twitching against an imaginary trigger. Then they both grabbed the gunman’s hands and handcuffed him. He again asked for a tissue. Benny gave him a tissue. The robber blew his nose with a disgusting gurgling sound. As he blew his nose, a spent bullet fell out plop! to the floor.

The ambulance originally called for Marty now arrived.  Benny was wondering, “How are we going to get this 300-pound gunman through the tight passage of the prescription counter?” He said, “Marty, we better call Emergency Service to get a body bag with handles to lift this guy.” The gunman then sat up and told Benny, “Give me a lift, man. I’ll get up.” Benny and Marty pulled the felon to his feet. They supported him, fearing he might collapse. He pulled away from their grasp and started to walk to the ambulance waiting outside without the slightest wobble or any sign that he was injured.

Benny grabbed the gunman in the normal arrest mode and handcuffed him properly with his hands behind his back. Benny looked at Marty in amazement. They could not believe that this guy was so mobile with 11 shots in his head and neck.

At the hospital, Benny found out that not one bullet had penetrated the robber’s skull. Each one had pierced the scalp, skidded around the skull and jaw bones, and exited. He later told me that he now knows I was right when I argued with the police hierarchy about how inadequate the 158-grain lead .38 Special load was.

THE TIMEX CAPER

My comedy team wasn’t finished yet. These two characters still never took stakeouts seriously. No matter what instructions or advice I gave them in my training sessions, they still did things their way. They were so funny that I still, to this day, miss and love these two characters.

Marty and Benny were staked out in a chicken fry shop.  Their scheduled assigned pickup was at 10 P.M., even though the shop stayed open till 11. At 9:55 they picked up their protective vests, broke down their 12-gauge Ithaca shotguns, and packed up their service guns and gear. They now were armed only with the same off-duty 2-inch Colt and Smith & Wesson handguns that they used in the drugstore shootout. As they were locking up the suitcase carrying their protective vests, they heard a voice coming from in front of the wall they were concealed behind state, “OK,  mother****er, I know dem cops is gone 15 minutes ago. Gimme all your cash or I’ll blow your ****ing brains out!”

Marty and Ben looked at each other in amazement. The thought running in their heads was, “This can’t be real. It must be some stupid ***hole making a joke.” As Benny peeked around the wall, he could not believe his eyes. Here was a robber with a cocked .45 in his hand. He nodded to Marty, and they both popped out with their off-duty revolvers. The robber spotted them and ran for the door while raising the .45 in their direction, trying to cover his escape. Before he could drop the safety or fire a shot, Marty and Benny opened fire. Both aimed low on the gunman’s butt to keep their shots heading downward. They were afraid of shots going parallel out into the dark street. The gunman  toppled into a heap just before the store entrance. He lay there moaning and yelling, “Oh s***. You ain’t supposed to be here. Oh s***. ***damn.” He was actually resentful that the cops were not playing by the rules and that it was unfair for them to be there. When Benny searched and handcuffed the gunman, he noticed that the Timex watch on the gunman’s wrist was 15 minutes fast. Benny laughed, looked at Marty, and said, “Hey Marty, maybe we should call John Cameron Swayze and tell him Timex watches catch crooks!”

After this stakeout I always referred to my comedy team as the “Two Proctologists.” (This stakeout also gave us new information. We found that whenever we shot gunmen in the pelvis or butt, they were knocked off their feet. They could still be dangerous, but at least their aim would be disturbed.)

THE BORN LOSER

This next occurrence I call the case of the Born Loser. It involved a sharp team that did as I asked. I will call them Kelly and Mac.

They had just arrived outside their assigned stakeout and were unloading their equipment from an unmarked car. Mac grabbed the case with their protective vests, listening device, and shotgun ammo. In his left hand he had a gym bag with his leather gear and service revolver. He started to walk to the assigned stakeout, an A&P supermarket, while Kelly was getting the shotguns and another equipment case out of the car trunk.

As Mac was walking toward the A&P, he heard a voice  behind him that sounded as raspy as Louie Armstrong say, “Drop the bag, mother******, or I’ll cut your ***.” Mac turned around to see a large, muscular black man pointing an 11-inch knife at him. Mac jumped back as he swung the heavy suitcase toward the knife, attempting to knock it out of his hand. The case was too heavy to swing fast, and the felon was able to jump back before  the suitcase struck him. Mac dropped his gear and quickly drew his Colt Detective Special. He yelled to his opponent to drop the knife. To his surprise, the robber yelled back, “Come and get it, mother******.”

By now Kelly heard all the yelling and looked toward Mac and the big black man in a Mexican standoff. Kelly and the plainclothes highway cop who drove them there crept up behind the man, signaling Mac to be cool. They grabbed the robber by his pants cuffs and pulled him off his feet. Mac joined in, and the three of them did a sort of Irish jig on top of the felon until he dropped the knife.

Later that evening I called stakeout headquarters, and Kelly answered the phone. I asked, “Kelly, aren’t you supposed to be on the A&P stakeout?” He then told me of Mac getting mugged as they were on their way into the store. Kelly then said, “Guess what, Jim? This is funny. This is the first day out of Sing Sing for this ***hole. He just finished a 15-year term.” I asked, “What did he get the 15 years for?” I heard Kelly chuckle over the phone. He then replied, “He tried to mug a cop!”

CIRILLO’S PUCKER FACTOR

I also had a close call in the very same drugstore that my comedy team was involved with, the one where Marty thought he got shot. I was seated on top of the telephone booth imbedded in the stockroom wall, the same watch point where my pizza eaters should have been when they were surprised by the upheld hands of the sales clerk and pharmacist. From my vantage point I could see who entered the store and approached the cash register. The sales counter was across the aisle, facing me.

A shady-looking individual who fit our hold-up man’s profile entered the store. He went right to the pharmacist, who was behind the cash register. I could only see the back of this suspicious individual. He took something out of his pocket quickly. He had his back toward me, so I could not see what was in his hand, which was pointed toward the pharmacist. At this moment, the individual muttered some gruff, unintelligible words. The pharmacist quickly raised both hands over his head and said, “Don’t get excited, don’t get excited!” I aimed my revolver between the  shoulder blades of the individual and took up 3 pounds of pressure on my trigger. I wanted to be sure there was a gun in his hand before I challenged him.

I was ready to take up the remaining 5 pounds of pressure on the trigger in the event he did not drop the weapon after my challenge. I whispered to my partner, “Bill, it looks like a hit.” At that moment I saw the pharmacist bring down his hands, reach for what was in the individual’s hand, and say, “I’ll exchange it, don’t get excited.”

I felt my heart beating faster than usual and the adrenaline surge through my body. I don’t know if it was caused by what seemed like a combat situation or by the thoughtless action of the pharmacist that placed a customer only 5 pounds of pressure away from death.

I was totally pissed off. I thought to myself, “I am going to teach this pharmacist a lesson.” I told my partner to calm down, as I could see he was now experiencing an adrenaline rush. I explained to Bill what happened and told him to get the pharmacist and tell him I wanted to see him.

Sol, the pharmacist, came behind the stockroom and  approached the phone booth I was sitting on top of. He looked up  and said, “What’s up, Jim?” I explained how close I had come to blowing away his customer. His mouth opened wide as he stated, “Oh my God.” I then told him that if we had shot the innocent customer we would have covered it. He asked how. I told him, “We would have shot you and said he did it robbing you, and that would have covered us.” Sol turned ashen white, walked back out to the counter, and for the next five days we were there he never raised his hands above his elbows. Bill and I laughed every time one of Sol’s customers noted his restrictive movements and asked if he had bad arthritis in his shoulders.

BIG MOUTH

As members of the Emergency Squad stakeout unit, we were exposed to many bizarre occurrences. In order to offset the gory, catastrophic, and morbid scenes we witnessed, we learned to develop an abhorrent sense of humor to help shield our psyches. This was common among the members of the Emergency Squad, but it was not always appreciated by nonmembers.

One night on a graveyard shift I was working as an Emergency Squad officer between stakeouts. We got a call about a man under a train at a Brooklyn train station. When we arrived, the stationmaster directed me to the stopped train and showed me the headless corpse that had been dragged by the contact shoe and pushed between the train platform and the wheels of the train. I observed in the 3-inch space between the platform and the stopped train that the body was totally intact except for the head, which evidently was severed by the train wheels. The clothing on the body gave evidence that this poor soul was one of the homeless New York City derelicts attempting to cross the tracks to sneak into the transit system for a free ride.

By now a crowd containing civilians as well as local precinct cops and top brass had gathered. The stationmaster suggested that we bring the train into the train barn over the repair pits so that we could get under it and search the undercarriage for the severed head. I agreed. As the train rolled out of the station, passing over but no longer dragging the body, one of the local precinct officers shouted and pointed up the tracks about 100 yards to the severed head.

It was such an unusual sight. The head was resting upright, looking right at us, as though it had broken through the floorboards between the rails. Much to my and my partner’s surprise, the precinct officer, in full dress uniform, jumped down from the  platform and stated, “I’ll get it.” Without thinking, my big mouth came out with the humor normally reserved for and between Emergency Squad personnel. I looked to the crowd on the platform and said, “There’s a young rookie cop who’s going to get ahead on the job.”

My partner turned his face away from the crowd to hide and suppress his laughter. When I saw the look on the faces of the crowd and the top police brass, I knew that my comment had gone over like a fart in church.

 

A criminal was injured and taken into custody by the Stakeout Squad. When the case came to trial, the officer concerned (widely assumed to have been Cirillo himself) took the stand and testified that he’d been on stakeout in that store on that date at that time. He observed the accused entering the store, drawing a gun and demanding money from the cashier. He had identified himself as a police officer and ordered the accused to drop his weapon. The accused had not done so, whereupon he had fired at him. The accused fell to the ground, where the policeman disarmed and handcuffed him, then called for an ambulance.

After the prosecution had finished with the police officer, the defense attorney rose and said to his client, “Did it happen like the officer said?”

“Hell, no!” retorted the defendant indignantly.  “There I was, mindin’ my own bidness, when I heard this awful noise, and I hurt somethin’ turrible, and I wuz lyin’ on the floor, an’ that damned cop was standin’ over me stickin’ his gun in my face an’ saying, ‘April Fool, mother******!’ “

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All About Guns

Another thing to add to my Bucket List