Some useful phrases for the Modern Teacher

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Bartender make it a double and I am running a tab! (Just kidding!)
Remind me! Did I or did I not say that we are BOTH going to do our best in our class?
Real Estate, Real Estate I could go into Real Estate!
I can not believe that one of my smarter kids did something like that!
And why did we do this!?! This outta be good as I really need a good laugh right about now!
Really! Well welcome back to Planet Earth!
WE DO NOT DO THIS IN OUR CLASS AS WE ARE THE BEST CLASS!!!
While looking toward the Ceiling, “Why do you do this to me? I only burned down one village & I let the people go!” As a Veteran I can say this in Juvenile Hall Court School. By the way there was no village.
“I have looked at your file in the office & I know that you are not stupid! Lazy maybe but not stupid & I can fix lazy but not stupid.”
(By the way there is no such thing as a Permanent file in the office. It’s a myth! There is only a transcript of grades & schools attended)
Come on I know that you can do better than this!
Listen up People! If you want to see a Model Paper / Project than you might want to take a look at this !
Well Done!! Keep it up!!
Anybody got  the phone number for the Truck Driving School?
You have got to be kidding me!
I told you that _____ could do it if they put their mind on it!
Not on my shift!
I do not care what they do in the other class! I have to look at myself in the face in the morning while I am shaving!
This is College level work here!
My dead Grandmother could do better than this!
This is much better! I just knew that there was something between those ears of yours!
I am extremely proud of my class! I would put them up against any other class at the school!
You know I have been walking up & down these hallways for a long time now. And all I know is that I Thank God that I have you guys for my students!
You know that WE both are going to look pretty dumb in front of the Principal right? So let’s not go down that road! Okay?
So tell me! What kind of drugs are you on as they must be some good stuff for you to think that I would allow this!
Now I have a lot of people counting on me to do my best here in our class. Don’t you!?!
If you want some down time in class. This sometimes works. “Guys I have a headache the size of Texas. So could you please just get to work & nobody will get hurt. Just kidding, maybe”
I am very proud of you & I expect great things from you!
Am I better man than you? No I just have a lot more experience & training than you. This is where you get your training & experience!
The Atomic Bomb – You let me down! To be used only in extremis!
Well you get the idea hopefully!                                                      Good Luck!
Grumpy
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