BabylonBee.com
BUTLER, PA — The world of American politics was rocked by newly released footage from the attempted assassination of Donald Trump which clearly shows the shooter standing on the roof while holding a huge sign that reads, “I’M GOING TO SHOOT TRUMP”.
The video depicts the would-be assassin, who the Internet has lovingly nicknamed “Ree Tardy Oswald,” dancing around on the roof, waving his AR-15 in the air, and prominently flashing a sign detailing his intentions of shooting Trump as several Secret Service agents looked on, scratching their heads in bafflement as to his possible intentions.
Secret Service member Jeff Galveston, clearly visible in the video, later said ascertaining the shooter’s true intentions was much harder in real life.
“It was just so hard to see what exactly he was trying to do,” Galveston recalled. “I personally wasn’t sure whether or not he may have been crossing his fingers behind the sign, you know? There was absolutely no way for me to be sure, so I just had to let the event play out. It was just so mysterious — how were we supposed to know that a guy with a sign saying ‘I’m going to shoot Trump’ had any intention of actually shooting Trump?”
“It’s unthinkable! I just couldn’t imagine it.”
The video sparked even more outrage over the Secret Service’s lack of action on President Trump’s behalf because it shows several bystanders pointing the sign out to baffled agents. “He is holding a sign that says he’s going to shoot Trump! Why aren’t you doing anything?” one unidentified bystander is heard saying.
At publishing time, another bombshell video revealed that the Trump shooter had set up a booth with the placard “I’m going to shoot Trump. Ask me how!” on the rally grounds over three hours before the incident.