Well I thought it was funny! You have to be kidding, right!?!

Even if this was Dufflel Blog Humor, Why is it that I believe it COULD happen? Grumpy

ABERDEEN PROVING GROUND, Md. — Brigadier General William E. King, commander of the 20th Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear and Something Beginning With E (CBRNE) Command, is retiring in July after a career which spanned almost four decades.

But he won’t be taking it easy: Once his terminal leave is complete, King plans to open the world’s first express delivery service for the deadly disease Anthrax, Duffel Blog has learned.

“I’m not tooting my own horn,” said King in an interview Thursday, “but I’m pretty proud of my business model. You call and place an order, and no matter where you are in the world, we will have live, weaponized Anthrax right to your cave opening or tent flap within 24 hours.”

King’s corporate headquarters will be in Whitemarsh, just up the road from Aberdeen where he currently works.

People who’ve worked with the one-star general know that his business will fill a niche market that so far has never been serviced. They also know that King brings a unique level of experience to the endeavor.

“The general really knows about this since as commander at Dugway back in his previous assignment, he was in charge of shipping anthrax all over the place,” said Col. Marty Muchow, the 20th’s deputy commander. “You’re really not going to find anybody else in the world who’s sent Anthrax to more places.”

The general has a firm business plan and backing from several generous investors, as well as a “silent partner” that King would only identify as “Kim John Doe.”

King plans to expand the business once the Anthrax portion is firmly established.

“Eventually I want to deliver all manner of biological weapons,” King explained. “Tularemia, botulism, Ebola, Marburg Variant U, smallpox, even more esoteric and untraceable stuff like weapons based on peptides and interferon. Stuff the human body produces naturally so it’s literally impossible to tell if they were hit with one of my weapons or just had a heart attack. It’s really going to revolutionize the biological weaponry market.

“The only thing I still have to work on is a good, reliable tracking system,” he added. “So we don’t lose anything.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *